I feel the need to control it, even if I can't.but in my adulthood, I've learned that doing so does more harm than good. I've found myself worrying about the mistakes I've made instead of doing something to change my future.be conscious about the decisions you make, but don't feel like you need to steer the outcome to your favor each time. the more you focus on what you can control and not if it will go your way, the more you can be present in living a meaningful life.sending you all lots of love and peaaaaaaaaaace!https://stan.store/thezurkieshow
Full Episode
You can't control everything in your life, and I don't think you should. I don't think you should. I have had the most peace in my life when I have let go of everything that I cannot control, and I have allowed myself to do these two things. Just be. What? Just be? How can you just be? There are a lot of things in this life to do. There are credit cards to apply for.
There are crushes to get ghosted by. There are accolades, things that we look for. We want to get recognized for the hard work we do. We want to feel like our life has some kind of importance to it. But oftentimes we let go of the most simple thing existing. Because we want control. We want control. That's really what it is. For me, a big thing was I wanted to control the perception of others.
I wanted to seem like I had everything figured out. I wanted to seem like I was perfect. And I am not. I am not perfect. I am flawed. I get angry. I recently had a crash out where I dropped a pan on the floor in my house and I kicked the pan into the oven and I shattered the pan and I felt embarrassed and I felt like a loser and I felt like I was a man child.
But I also recognize that that was a moment and that moment doesn't really define me as a human being for the rest of my life. I'm just going to be. I'm just going to exist. And I'm going to take that moment with a grain of salt.
Now, was I pissed off, you know, having to buy a new pan at the grocery store and like awkwardly telling my roommates what happened to the old pan because they liked the old pan? Yes. Yes, it was really embarrassing. But that in itself taught me a lesson that maybe visibly showing my anger and transferring my anger from the foot of mine to the pan was not a constructive way of using my anger.
Maybe it could have been better to actually take that moment and be like, why was I really mad? I was really mad because I was cleaning the house and people weren't helping me clean the house and I should have asked for help and I didn't. I did not. So did I even have the right to be mad? I mean, you know, it was cool to be mad, but honestly, it was pretty, it was pretty avoidable.
I've learned that there is something special about existing and obviously we cannot just exist all of the time, right? What I mean by that is like you cannot just be present all the time. No, there are seasons of your life where you are going to need to focus. There are seasons of your life where you are going to need to lock in. and study for something, try to obtain a financial goal.
Maybe you're stressing about money this month and you have to sign up for DoorDash or something to make some extra bread. Yes, these are things you will deal with. But I think that we do not give ourselves the break and the grace to just be, bro. To just be. To just kick it with ourselves. To take a break. To relax. I was in the Uber today talking to a guy who designed clothes for a living.
It was super cool, super insightful. And one thing he mentioned was that he was reading the artist's way. I haven't read this book, but there's something about doing a artist date in the artist's way, which is like you take yourself out on a date. You go to some kind of museum, you go see a movie, you go listen to an album while you bike around your neighborhood, something like that.
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