we often want the best for others, but is that always the best thing for you? https://linktr.ee/thezurkieshow
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I used to think that other people's happiness was entirely dependent on me. When they were in a bad mood, I would think that I did something wrong and that it was my fault and I felt guilty.
and i very quickly found myself living for other people more than for myself it's a really bad habit it's a really dark place to be when you are so hyper fixated on everybody except yourself everyone except you matter i had a few relationships where I really tried to be on my best behavior and the other person still blew me off or the other person still didn't care.
And that's really where I realized something. It's not your job. It's not your job. In a relationship, whether that is a friendship or that is a romantic relationship, an intimate relationship, a situationship, which is like, come on, situationships, we gotta leave those in 2024 like yesterday. Your job in a relationship is to be the best version of you. That's it. That is the job.
You do that, in my opinion, through communication, which is insanely difficult. It is insanely hard. I know because I'm a yapper.
But when it comes to communicating in a relationship, it is one of the hardest things because we want to immediately assume that the other person knows what's going on in our brain because we are intimate with that person, because we know them more than a stranger, when that's not the case. It's never the case. Like... You have no, I have no idea, you know.
They might be thinking about the chopped chin video. And I might be thinking about, why haven't you talked to me today? You have no idea. You just, you don't know. Communication.
then on top of that communication what's really really important is following through being somebody of your word when you promise something you deliver you don't make empty promises that's not good in a relationship and being fair being fair if they have a valid concern hearing them out and being like all right you know maybe i haven't been the best to you that's fair and of those three there are a lot more
but not one of them is keeping the other person happy. It's not, because that is not your job. That is not your job. And so many people live for other people. They don't live for themselves. And listen, there's a weird connotation with being selfish, right? Like we consider doing the thing that's best for us as, oh, that's really selfish.
But sometimes being selfish is the best for the both of you. I'm going to say it. Sometimes being selfish means stepping away from a relationship that is really bad, that is really toxic. And both of you, for some reason, have continued to spiral in it. It's a selfish thing in theory, right? Well, why would you step away? Like, shouldn't you work on it?
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