What is the significance of 1119 Bayard Street?
When I thought about the future, I pictured myself getting frozen fish nuggets from Trader Joe's, frozen hash browns and tartar sauce from Giant Eagle, and eating them together as the saddest fish and chips in the world while watching through all of Twin Peaks. Which is what I did my first semester in grad school, living with Craigslist roommates in a single room in Pittsburgh.
I read an interview in The Cut with a, quote, 58-year-old virgin who said that the worst part about his life is, quote, laying alone at night, falling asleep, and then getting up in the morning and remembering you're alone. I read that, and I was like, yep, all right, here we go. At age 25, I started dating my partner and now fiancé, Grace. They're the first person I ever dated.
We saw the movie Challengers the other day. The horny Zendaya tennis movie about three tennis players who fuck each other while fucking each other over.
On the drive back from the theater, Grace was like, Wow, horny Zendaya tennis movie sure was horny, don't you think?
And I was like, uh, well, I just really like the soundtrack by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross of Nine Inch Nails. They also did the music for The Social Network and Gone Girl and The Watchmen TV show.
Right. But the movie was also like really horny, right? Did it make you horny? Uh, maybe.
I don't know. It's just that Nine Inch Nails actually released an album of instrumentals in 2008 entirely through a Creative Commons license, so you don't have to pay any licensing fees. I actually use some of their songs in my podcasts.
Bowen, did the horny Zendaya tennis movie make you horny? Why are you being so immature about this?
I don't know what exactly happened in this moment, but I felt like a child. I felt swallowed by an overwhelming feeling of shame. Shame about sex, about sexual desire, and simply being a sexual being, for having a body. For a long time, I wished I didn't have a body, that I was a floating consciousness, freed from the shame and guilt of the flesh.
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