Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Dark triangles in the sky. Metal saucers traveling at impossible speeds. For hundreds of years, humans have encountered strange, unidentified objects in the sky. And when they report them, they're all told the exact same thing. Shut the f*** up or we'll kill your family.
Chapter 2: What strange occurrences have humans reported in the sky?
But what if there was an organization dedicated to finding the truth? One that didn't threaten the witnesses? Can you trust a man in black with paranormal evidence? Ladies, can you trust a man at all? Why can't I legally own a tiger?
All of these questions you can find the answer to on This Paranormal Life!
Hello everybody and welcome back to This Paranormal Life, the comedy paranormal podcast where every week we investigate a brand new paranormal tale and decide once and for all whether or not it really is paranormal. My name is Roy Powers. That is Kit Greer Malvena. Just to say I did, I threw that last one in just for a joke. I already own a tiger.
Chapter 3: Who are the Men in Black and what is their role?
I already own several tigers.
But no, this doesn't count if someone did that. You know when someone adopts a tiger for your birthday when you're a kid and you get the fluffy toy, but you know that you've adopted Sonia the tiger in Thailand.
His name is Kumba.
Yeah.
And I guess a more accurate opening question would be, where did Kumba go? Uh-oh. Oh, dear. Because I haven't seen him in a fortnight. So just be on the lookout.
Your flat isn't that big, are they? Where could he be?
I think he's, last time I saw him, he was in Croydon. So he made his south of the river, heading towards Gatwick Airport. So he might be trying to go home, I'm not entirely sure. But Kumba doesn't have a passport, so he won't get far. Kit, listen, I know that we talk a lot of shit on this podcast about the shady organizations that have tried to shut down paranormal stories over the years.
But today, we're here to talk about an organization that's doing the opposite. Really? Mm-hmm. One that doesn't shut down witnesses. One that gives them a platform.
Well, don't do that, because some of them are nutjobs. I know what you're saying, though. They're a kind heart, a listening ear. They're here for experiencers.
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Chapter 4: What happened to the children who encountered the orb?
Yeah. And then the diagram, yes, we see the beings. And then underneath the drawing, which is quite pretty, we have a diagram. It shows, which is, I don't know if it's needed, but it shows the kind of specific path their jump took to land in the orb. It's all kind of the same.
It's like every person just, oh yeah, but then number four, the path of the jump shows that he flew up, but then turned around midair, came back down, and then presumably went back up again. It's very well documented. So they entered the orb from the top.
Yes, they all jumped up and floated into the tip of the orb. Wild stuff. The kids were left stunned. What had they just seen? What were those little things? Were they even from Earth? And without any evidence, would anyone ever believe what they'd witnessed? Luckily, there was an organization that would believe them.
And that is the G.E.I.P.A.N., also known as the Unidentified Aerospace Phenomena Study Group in France. Right. This is a not-so-secret department within the French Space Agency that was created in 1977 to specifically study UFO reports. Fun fact, France is the only country in Europe to maintain a full-time state-run UFO department.
Yeah, pretty awesome.
Pretty awesome, which is what we love to see is the government itself having a very public investigation into UFOs. This is essentially France's Project Blue Book. A group of individuals that from this point onward I'm going to refer to as the M.I.N.s. Men in Noir. Nice dude. Thank you.
The G.I.N. Garcon in Noir.
Yeah, we can work with that. Now, look, we've talked a lot about America's investigations into UFOs over the years. It may surprise you to know that when it comes to UFO sightings and other huge hotspots, one of the biggest in the world is France. I mean, usually when you make a whole department for investigating something, it's because that something won't get out of your face.
Hmm.
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Chapter 5: What details did the witnesses describe about the orb and its occupants?
Who is she? The guy's like, also, if it was my wife, you shouldn't have killed Stephanie. Now you have no leverage. You're right.
We're understaffed over at the FBI at the moment.
We're just going to get out of here. Just take your cat so we can leave. I don't have a... Oh, you're kidding me. Whose cat is this?
Of all the luck, we end up in the Mariette Condo's house. This guy has no possessions, no things, no pets, no chick.
It's like, what do you like to do? Sometimes I'll ride my bicycle into town. Be a real shame if one of those tires were to get slashed. All right, I'll just leave. Thank you. You're really doing me a solid here. Slashes tires. No. My point being that the MINs are much more open and scientific.
All of their research and findings are made available to the public, so there's no need to hide anything or shoot anybody in the head. And let me tell you, they found a lot of stuff that probably should be hidden. Really? The MINs collected soil and vegetation samples from the area where the whistling craft had landed, and when they examined it, they were stunned.
Michael Bounez, a botanist from the National Institute of Agronomy Research, was sent the vegetation samples, and it wasn't long before the MINs received an almost panicked call.
I've studied the samples that you sent over, and I have some questions.
Like what? Like what the hell did you do to it? The leaf samples show a 50% reduction in chlorophyll pigment. That can only be caused by significant stress, and that's only half of it.
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Chapter 6: How did the G.E.I.P.A.N. respond to the children's report?
You live with this piece of information. Sky people. These are not my words. You take this piece of information and you explain to me. You explain to me what this is. Is that what this case is about? You explain to me what this is. Sky people. Explain this. By the 16th century... Sky people.
We are 40 minutes in and it's the first time you've ever said the word sky people.
In the 16th century, reports were so frequent that the Swiss theologian Paracelsus actually created a new word for the sky people, calling them sylphs.
I just heard the old word. This is the first time I've heard sky people. Sylphs. They had to make up, not milfs, sylphs. Sky people, I'd love to f***. No, spell S-Y-L. Sylph. S-Y-L-P-H-S.
Luckily, Abagard of Lyons in his writing goes on to say that the four little guys were kept in chains for several days, but then eventually set free and they weren't stoned to death.
Whoa. Yeah, pretty crazy stuff. So you think they just like lived in France and got married and stayed?
Maybe they went back up. Maybe they went back up.
Maybe they're the same four little dudes who came back in an orb years later. See, I'm worried that they started a genetic lineage here on Earth.
Oh my God. Wow. Hopefully not. That would be too much for me to handle. Listen, we've reached the end of our investigation today. A case where we're kind of investigating a few different UFO encounters, but more so we're investigating this GPAN, this organization, the MINs. And, you know, usually at the end of an episode, we come down on a conclusion as to whether or not we think a story is real.
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Chapter 7: What evidence did the G.E.I.P.A.N. uncover years later?
And if you tick that box, they're like, all right, come in. Yeah. Get in here. We want to hear about what it is.
It's very cool. I thought you were going to say that they do that kind of thing where it's like, if you're filling out your taxes. Yeah. Where it's like, hey, tick this box to say, I have filled this out to the best of my ability. And if I'm found to be lying, I'm going to shoot you in the back of the head. They didn't do that.
I feel like they need to do something like that to just like not have their time wasted.
Right. We'll invoice you for the amount of work we did on your nonsense. Yeah. No, no, no, no. They do not do that. They're very welcoming. Very understanding. They're very, very kind. I would say check it out. They're French. They have limits. If you have any interest in checking out their files and their research, go ahead and do it. Their website is easy to find.
You just got to search for the G-E-I-P-A-N and throw in some other keywords and you'll be able to find it easily.
So, because we've been saying GPAN, it's really more GAPAN. But I think it was best we stick to GPAN.
Yeah. GPAN, GAPAN, MIBs, or sorry, MINs, whatever you want to call them. They're a double yes, and they're doing the Lord's work over there. Let me tell you. If you enjoyed that clip that we played earlier from the episode about sky people, or what did you say it has a different name? Selfs.
Selfs.
And the anchor of Claude McNeish.
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