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This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von

#652 - Matt McCusker

10 Apr 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?

0.031 - 26.899 Matt McCusker

It's springtime around here. You know that. Because you can see the bees. The bees are out there. Go see them. They're just being bees. And we're running a spring sale. That's what we're doing. In honor of spring, we're being on sale. We've got a mix of tees, hoodies, and hats. All 20% off right now. And there's a limited quantity left on the Year of the Rat hoodies.

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26.879 - 52.84 Matt McCusker

This one right here, I wear it. I love it. It's my favorite type of hoodie. That's the only type we're selling anymore is my favorite type. All that and more available at theovonstore.com. I hope everyone is having a good day, and thank you for your support. Today's guest is a stand-up comedian. He's one half of the Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast. He's the shaman. He is.

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52.92 - 103.451 Matt McCusker

He's on a higher frequency. He operates in a special realm. And he's on the road soon, so if you get a chance, I recommend that you go see him. If you even get to spend time with this guy, it's a smart choice. I'm thankful to be able to do that today. My guest is Mr. Matt McCusker. Beautiful. Yeah. Get all this crap out of my pockets. Oh, dude, that's one thing. Bro, how much shit do guys start?

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103.471 - 115.84 Matt McCusker

And I'm a guy. Yeah. And it's like the shit we start to have in our pockets. Look at that. You have glass around the neck. The phone. Phone, wallet, keys. I need an upper. I need a downer.

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116.602 - 128.78 Theo Von

You need the little nicotine. Yeah. You got BC powders. You're fucking. We need pocketbooks, dude. Some guys have already adopted pocketbook technology. We need. We need a pocketbook. Guys, the purse, whatever. Pocketbook.

129.14 - 132.645 Matt McCusker

Oh, that thing. Yep, yep, yep. That fanny pack that people wear around their heart or whatever.

132.846 - 133.026 Theo Von

Yeah.

134.643 - 140.757 Matt McCusker

Their satchel. That's a weird one, though. Like, the fanny pack on the heart, that guy's always like, what's going on here?

140.917 - 153.124 Theo Von

I think you have to, like, if you're going to have one, you have to have a gun in there just so you can maintain, you know what I mean? But one of those little guns or whatever? Yeah, I think a tiny, like, James Bond. Like a little .38, a little snub.

Chapter 2: What are Matt McCusker's gardening practices?

661.951 - 679.945 Theo Von

Yeah. But this guy's pretty chill. He's pretty clean, but you can tell he's been around this stuff for a while. The other guy I know got bit by a rattlesnake. Literally got bit. He drove himself to the hospital. Fuck yeah. That's boss shit, bro. It's crazy. I got nothing but love for exterminators. Do you ever have like a horrible infestation of any kind?

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682.827 - 705.933 Matt McCusker

Just these hoes. True. Basically. Sorry, I was just making a meme clip. He needs a strong hand for that. But no, I never had anything like that. You know, actually, you know what? Bring up some of these exterminators first. I want to see some of these. Good call. Let's get a gander at some of these America's top 10 most extreme exterminators, including women.

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706.373 - 706.894 Theo Von

There we go.

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707.431 - 714.838 Matt McCusker

A lot of these bitches will kill anything they go around. There we go. Look at that guy. Look at Extreme. Yeah, look at that fucking guy right there.

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715.519 - 724.046 Theo Von

Sandblasting a fucking... Yeah, they're giving... This is... I need to see the real guys. This is the fucking... It's like the stock footage.

Chapter 3: How does Matt feel about the challenges of gardening?

724.147 - 725.868 Theo Von

Yeah, it's all Teemu shit, man. Yeah.

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726.148 - 736.318 Matt McCusker

No, none of the exterminators look like these guys. These are male models. Yeah, I mean, there's Billy the Exterminator. There's that guy, and he passed away. Did he really? Yeah. Hey, dude, short shelf life on those guys.

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736.538 - 755.015 Theo Von

I mean, you're literally dealing in poison. You're out there just fucking spraying glyphosate on everything. You're out there fucking. Those bug bombs, what they do is they inhibit reproductive systems. So, like, I had fleas, and I had to do a bug bomb. The Home Depot was bullshit. So I got the real guy who came out. And when I did the first one, I lit it off.

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755.035 - 764.123 Theo Von

You know, you pull the thing, and it's supposed to give you 10 seconds. It just exploded in my face. So I just got drenched in this shit and had to run outside. Did you get it at the Fourth of July place or where did you get that bitch?

0

764.143 - 769.069 Matt McCusker

Roasted. Because they'll put those things in together, dude.

769.27 - 779.363 Theo Von

Dude, you can't reproduce. So it just scorches bug genitals, and then they just have to watch the apocalypse. There's a colony of them. Is this Palantir online?

779.483 - 785.751 Matt McCusker

I just can't believe you're involved in all this, dude. And your children are what, sleeping inside?

785.731 - 803.199 Theo Von

Well, I came in from like talking to the exterminator and I'm like, bro, this rat poison is crazy. I forgot my two daughters were there. And I'm like, yeah, there's little mice and they like watch it play. And I was like, oh, the mouse is back. I'm like, what it does is it cuts their lungs and they drown in their own blood. My wife's like, chill, dude. I'm like, yeah, my bad. My bad, my bad.

804.241 - 824.119 Theo Von

Are you part of a group with the gardening or how? I'm a lone wolf. I have thought about joining a group, but I'm like... When you ever do something like that, it's just too much human interaction for me. I like to figure it out by myself. Maybe one mentor would be good. A whole group. There's bound to be someone I don't like. Yeah. I'm going to be battling. I'm like, no, thank you.

Chapter 4: What insights does Matt McCusker share about the dangers of looksmaxxing?

3002.902 - 3011.512 Theo Von

Having a good time. Yeah, that's a good point, man. No, but that's... Yeah, I saw that. That's one of those videos. You're like, dang, did I really look like that during that? He's still smiling.

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3011.532 - 3021.764 Matt McCusker

That was like a... No, and that guy's a boss, dude, too. And honestly, if any of these guys ended up being gay fellas or whatever, and being one of the best to ever do it, good for them. Exactly.

0

3022.124 - 3031.72 Theo Von

Gives a shit. Gay Jordan? Gay Jordan would be nice. Just that slightly lighter lift off the – that would actually be kind of sick to watch. Flying. Floating.

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3031.96 - 3032.461 Unknown

Floating.

0

3033.623 - 3049.955 Theo Von

Through the air. Ooh. I feel bad for like – because you have – they get like preyed upon because you're on social media and it's just nothing but before and afters, before and afters, before and afters, and you just go after that and you get like – you can get like permanently disfigured and it's just, you know, it's just, I don't know.

3050.015 - 3059.693 Matt McCusker

Something strikes me as like evil to do that. Well, there's a lot of stuff now too, where it's like, you know, the peptide, like all that stuff, a lot of it, there's not a ton of research done on it. We just started fucking hearing about it.

3059.974 - 3060.535 Theo Von

Yeah.

3060.515 - 3079.579 Matt McCusker

and everybody started using it. I know. And there was, dude, I remember I was with a girl one night in her car, and I was trying to make out or something. I don't remember. But we were sitting in there talking, and she's like, yeah, I got to leave in like two hours to go down to Tijuana to get some ozempic. It's just cheaper down there. Really? Yeah.

3079.599 - 3083.144 Matt McCusker

Dude, they busted a woman outside of a vineyard barn selling illegal ozemp.

Chapter 5: How does Matt feel about the current state of young men's self-image?

3099.586 - 3117.118 Theo Von

I'll inject you. And then it's like. does this person know what they're doing? Where did they really get that? What is this stuff? And it's, I'm, I'm so freaked out about putting anything into my body. I like can't do it. I'll take like a new vitamin. And I'm like, I feel kind of weird today. I don't know. It's that's me. I'm being a bitch, but it's like, I really am like, but that's Irishness.

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3117.158 - 3118.52 Theo Von

I think as well. I think so.

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3118.66 - 3121.244 Matt McCusker

You guys operate best on beer and stuff like that. I think so.

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3121.324 - 3138.348 Theo Von

Basic whiskey beer, complete basics. Yeah. Adding to my, I've, I took the one, it was like a pill form. It just take it for your stomach. And I think it helped. I didn't really notice much, but the needles, man, I'm like, I get just too scared. I have one in my fridge. I can't do it. I'm like, yeah, I'm going to do it.

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3138.388 - 3147.522 Theo Von

It's supposed to help you sleep and burn fat, and I look at it, and I go, no, I'm not doing that. It just sits there. I'm scared of the needle. I won't do it.

3147.542 - 3160.599 Matt McCusker

Yeah, dude, yeah. Save that bitch in case things get crazy. Shoot it into one of your fucking plants. True. Dude, if you started peptiding your plants, dude, next thing you know, you have like 11 blackberries in your yard, dude.

3160.719 - 3169.088 Theo Von

That would be nice. But yeah, we can each have, my whole family can each have like three a piece. That'd be awesome. How good are radishes, though? You mentioned radishes earlier. Radishes, man, they grow so easy.

Chapter 6: What are the implications of AI on future job markets discussed?

3169.188 - 3183.228 Theo Von

And they're like, they're good. They can get a little spicy here and there. But like those ones, they were rewarding because like this is the thing, too. I tried growing carrots. Dude, the carrot green's this big. I pulled the carrot out. I'm not lying. It was this fucking big. So that kind of hurts. You wait three months.

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3183.669 - 3198.375 Theo Von

Then you just got to take it out and throw it on the ground and just let it kind of decompose. Radishes just rip, man. You can grow radishes anywhere. Those bulb, those under, those like, uh... Potatoes, radish, I think those things grow pretty easy. Yeah, there's tubers or whatever they're called. I think, yeah, potatoes, a tuber, radish, I don't know what the hell.

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3198.395 - 3199.457 Theo Von

Like root vegetables, I guess.

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3199.537 - 3215.447 Matt McCusker

Yeah, root vegetables. They grow pretty good, man. My grandma used to have them all in her cellar back in the day. They'd have a lot of senior citizens would have them in their cellars and stuff like that. They'd keep a lot of root vegetables in there. I love radishes, though. They've kind of disappeared for a while.

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3216.743 - 3224.196 Matt McCusker

You would see them kind of like shaved up like they'd fucking been literally like somebody had terrorized them and put them on like little salads.

3224.216 - 3238.602 Theo Von

I've seen that. Eat like shredded radish. Yeah, it's kind of weird. I feel like Mexican food brought them back into my life. Ooh. Because I would see them on the tacos and at first I'd be like, what the fuck am I eating? And then I started eating them. I'm like, damn, these things are pretty good actually. You get a fucking spicy radish. So bro, put a little bit of salt on it. Yeah, man.

3239.343 - 3239.624 Theo Von

They're good.

3239.684 - 3239.764

Ooh.

3240.385 - 3240.725 Theo Von

They're good.

Chapter 7: How does Matt envision the future with AI and societal changes?

3240.745 - 3256.343 Theo Von

And there's something, I mean, just pulling it out of the ground, washing it off, and eating it. There's something awesome about that. You ever pull one right out and just wash it right there and eat it in the yard? I'd have to wash it first. I usually bring it inside, but I'd like to. I feel like those, I've picked them off. I've picked berries off a bush and eaten them.

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3256.703 - 3275.046 Theo Von

But the radish, I'd never pulled them out of the dirt and eaten them, no. Do that. I should, actually. I have left a little bit of dirt on before when washing it. It's got to be minerals and shit in here. I don't believe all the eating the dirt propaganda. You can eat dirt for sure. I wouldn't have a ton. I mean, it depends on what area. Just the dust. True. Yeah. True, true. True.

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3275.066 - 3294.073 Theo Von

My soil is pretty good. That's the thing, too. You got to like, you know, you got to build like a whole little colony in your soil, you know, because if you just dump soil out of a bag, it's not living. How many square feet is your garden? Oh, man, not a lot. It's probably like 40 total, if that. And then I have a little thing outside my fence that gets like full sun all day.

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3294.093 - 3310.493 Theo Von

That's probably another like... Probably have like 50, 60 square feet total. It's small. Do you have to water in the morning and evening or how does that work? I do in the summer, yeah. Do you have to water pale or use the hose? I have the hose. And I have like some sprinklers now. I got to hook them up. But I just kind of water them though twice a day depending on how hot it is.

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3310.513 - 3330.598 Theo Von

If it's like super hot, that's twice a day. Put some mulch down to keep the roots from getting scorched. So it's just, it's nice, man. Especially like when you just see a new little bud pop off your plant, it's just such a, I come out in the morning and I'm like, Ooh, it's just a nice little treat. Yeah. And you're kind of like an orchestra conductor of nature. Yeah. It's pretty cool.

3330.618 - 3349.145 Theo Von

And you got to be patient. You got to wait. And it's like, Like, dude, I planted garlic six months ago. I might have some like in three weeks. And it's just like, just like a thing that's like good. That's gross. You know what I mean? That's like, you know, because otherwise I've had a lot of times in life where I just have nothing to look forward to. And you're just like, whatever.

3349.165 - 3359.62 Theo Von

And every day I'm like, well, my berries eventually. Two years, I have like things that are going to take like two years to grow. And I'm like, man, two years is going to be sick. Dude, I like that. I'm telling you, it's really good for you.

3361.021 - 3384.675 Matt McCusker

I've been wondering. If there was ever a time when you were with your family and your car broke down, because I've been there, and I remember the car was broke down, and I stood off. I walked off from that thing. I said, I ain't even being with y'all anymore. Just didn't even want to be by my family, dang it. Just out of shame. CarShield could have fixed that.

3385.697 - 3410.71 Matt McCusker

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