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This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von

#662 - Matt Rife

10 Jun 2026

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?

0.031 - 28.112 Theo Von

This episode is sponsored by Mountain Dew. Look for American Dew limited time packaging or find it in stores near you at MountainDew.com. I want to tap in right here and let you know if you are somebody that enjoys merchandise. And we got a few summer essentials for you over there in the shop. We got those gang gang tote bags. And we got some trucker hats with that foam back, that mesh back.

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28.132 - 52.709 Theo Von

So you can, you know, you can get them wet. You can get them dry, baby. You know what I'm talking about. You can get them wet and dry. Check them all out if you want that. If you do, thank you so much. It's available at theovonstore.com. And thank you to anybody who's ever been supportive in any way. Amen. Today's guest is a stand-up comedian and an actor.

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53.83 - 94.984 Theo Von

He's pretty much the Tim Burton of Rhode Island. I think that's safe to say. He's got a new show coming out later this year on Netflix called The Altruists. Um, we're thankful to have him as his first time being here. And, um, he's had quite a journey, uh, and we're just, we're excited. Uh, today's guest is Mr. Matt Reif. How we doing here?

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95.004 - 95.885 Matt Rife

Looking good, dude.

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95.905 - 118.436 Theo Von

Looking all right? Yeah. I just want to make sure I look fucking BLM adjacent. You what? I just want to make sure that I look... BLM adjacent? Yeah, I want to look BLM adjacent. Like you wouldn't protest yourself if you'd help make the signs? I just want them to know that, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. I'll pull up, you know what I'm saying? 100%. But I'm not getting crazy out there. No, no.

118.516 - 121.5 Matt Rife

I'll hit the barbecue, but I'm not hitting the march, you know?

121.52 - 121.98 Theo Von

Yeah, dude.

122 - 122.781 Matt Rife

It's got to be a line.

123.102 - 128.068 Theo Von

Yeah, because the BLM march also, I think it just got too... I don't know.

Chapter 2: How does Matt Rife's background influence his comedy?

151.647 - 159.899 Theo Von

That was all kind of the same thing, I think. I think so. But were the BLM marches and stuff, was all that part of just big propaganda for the woot bracelet and some of those companies?

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159.919 - 163.505 Matt Rife

Is that a real conspiracy? People would think it was just for the fitness aspect?

0

163.565 - 175.813 Theo Von

I don't know. Let's look that up on Perplexity if you can, dude. What are they saying? Is there – because all I'm saying is that's smart – That's smart. Do we put out this thing? People need their steps. How do we get them outdoors? It's a black bracelet.

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177.214 - 177.755 Unknown

I'm just saying.

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177.775 - 186.925 Matt Rife

The bracelet could have been any color. Hey, you said it. I was way too early in the pod for that. I mean, bro, this pod's been through a lot. I know, man. I'm so happy we finally make it happen.

186.985 - 189.128 Theo Von

I think we'll be fine, dude. Me too, man. Good to see you.

189.248 - 190.269 Matt Rife

Good to see you too, man.

191.33 - 206.056 Theo Von

Wow. I forget, dude. No, there's no credible evidence that the BLM marches were a conspiracy to sell whoops. What? Which is a little slangish, I feel like, for perplexity. Or that the protests themselves were pre-planned as a fake operation. Huh.

207.078 - 216.878 Theo Von

What is true is that the 2020 protests happened in response to the George Floyd killing, and like many large demonstrations, that included a mix of peaceful marches and some incidents of violence, looting, and misinformation.

Chapter 3: What are the challenges of transitioning from stand-up to acting?

320.453 - 324.537 Theo Von

But yeah, dude. Anyway, good to see you, bro. I'm just kind of giving you a hard time.

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324.557 - 326.278 Matt Rife

No, likewise, man. I've seen you forever.

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326.358 - 342.953 Theo Von

I know. Congrats on all your success and everything, bro. Thank you, man. Thank you so much. So cool. It's wild, dude. It's a lot. It's a lot, yeah? Mm-hmm. You know what? We did talk one time. Hold on. I'm not even done with this yet. Does it bug you that I say the good-looking comedian thing? Does that bug you at all or no?

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342.973 - 345.195 Matt Rife

It doesn't bother me. It bothers other people, I suppose. It does?

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345.355 - 345.656 Theo Von

You think?

345.676 - 350.46 Matt Rife

Yeah, dude. I get shit for it all the time. People act like I'm the one walking around saying it. Oh, yeah. That's the weird part.

350.44 - 374.794 Theo Von

Oh, no. Dude, yeah, because it was like, what do you mean? Because first you heard rumors there's a guy and he's doing comedy and it's good and he's good looking and people are like, what do you mean? People are calling their grandfathers. Grandfathers. And your grandpa would be like, what do you mean? And his wool bracelet would fucking start, you know. Not good. Not good. Call Edna now.

374.774 - 377.038 Theo Von

Like, report to grandmother.

377.058 - 378.76 Matt Rife

I didn't realize I was affecting families.

Chapter 4: How does Matt Rife feel about his recent success and future plans?

701.853 - 716.993 Theo Von

Yeah, dude. Like my, my, my wife's like, she's starting, like you're getting like a little bit of reading on her, like her, like on the, on the Harvey monitor. Yeah. Yeah. Hold on, honey. I'm almost done. Hold on. I got four episodes of Breaking Bad left.

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717.013 - 737.898 Matt Rife

Dude, you know that's happened to somebody. Oh, 100%. No, there was a guy. I met a guy at a show one time who he faked being sick from work for three weeks to stay home and watch TV. That was like his full thing. Wow. And his wife totally just allowed it, which was like a cool mom letting you skip school. That's got to be dope. Yeah, man. That's the one. That's the one.

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738.098 - 751.377 Matt Rife

I want to find a lady like that. On the second date, she's like, oh, I see what you're doing. Oh, yeah. He's not even faking it anymore on day three. He's just living his life. She's on to him. Yeah. And she's like, I like it. How long are you going to be here? Yeah.

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751.357 - 761.447 Theo Von

Dang, dude. Yeah, that's got to be, if you get like a good partner like that. But yeah, dude, so that's like, what were we even talking about? How the fuck did we get into watching TV? Onomatopoeia.

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761.467 - 764.67 Matt Rife

Onomatopoeia, yeah, the bangs, the wah-lahs, magic.

764.69 - 772.358 Theo Von

Oh, magic. That's what it was, backtracking. Yeah, yeah. What's your finishing term? Oh, man. Because how did wah-lah come to be a term?

772.378 - 778.303 Matt Rife

How did, or ta-da? I think it's ta-da. Wah-lah is definitely a chef term. I don't know why that came to me first.

778.824 - 778.984

Wah-lah.

778.964 - 795.328 Matt Rife

While that sounds like, uh, it tells the audience the truth. Oh, oh, voila came from voila. Abracadabra. That's a classic. It's magic might be the lamest one. You do a trick and you got to tell them what it is. It's magic. That's magic.

Chapter 5: What are the thoughts on sleep issues and anxiety?

3345.134 - 3352.185 Matt Rife

But most of my doctors think it's probably just like an underlying anxiety, but I'm like, I don't want to take anxiety medication. I don't want to...

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3352.165 - 3357.814 Theo Von

Yeah, and are you feeling laying there all horny or whatever, or are you just laying there, like, your brain running? Oh, no, way past that, dude.

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3357.834 - 3368.031 Matt Rife

My dick is, like, fucking tapped out. You're done. Oh, I'm empty, bro. Falling asleep with fucking Lego hands, dog. Oh, damn. Yeah, man. What are you saying?

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3368.112 - 3378.007 Theo Von

You never jerk off to try to fall asleep? Oh, yes, dude. Yeah. What are you talking about? Probably less than 30 hours ago I did it. We shook hands as soon as I came in here, man.

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3378.067 - 3390.266 Matt Rife

Now, I have showered once since then. I mean, you ever accidentally get a wake-up nut, though, when you're trying to fall asleep? Where? Because that boosts the energy on accident. Like, what do you mean? Like, if you jerk off in the beginning of the day.

3390.286 - 3390.666 Theo Von

Tell me about that.

3390.686 - 3407.62 Matt Rife

What is that wake-up nut? A wake-up nut is kind of like. Tell me about that. I imagine it's like a shot of B12. It's like getting into a cold plunge. There's just something that kind of shocks your system. You're like, okay, I'm ready to tackle the day. So you wake up and do a nut? Sometimes. It just depends on the day. You know what I mean? Depends on the weather.

Chapter 6: How does crowd work impact a comedian's performance?

3408.207 - 3412.071 Matt Rife

Oh, really? Yeah, man. If it's sunny out, I'm not going to jerk off in the gloom.

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3412.792 - 3435.697 Theo Von

Oh, yeah, dude. I don't know. I'm more like emo. I think I'm that dude. I'm that Tim Burton nut monkey, dude. I think I'm more like, you know, it's cloudy out. We got a 40% chance of nut, bro. See, that feels depressing to me. Like, my dick's not going to give it its all. Well, dude, my dick gave up. I don't think my dick ever even wanted to be me and them in a partnership. But yeah, I agree.

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3435.717 - 3442.789 Theo Von

But on a sunny day, I'm jerking off. The Lord has blessed me with this beautiful sun and I'm going to be like, oh, let me show you what I can do.

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3443.03 - 3447.257 Matt Rife

Just add a little something to it. You know what I mean? I want to be walking on sunshine, dog.

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3447.297 - 3449.241 Theo Von

Yeah, I guess you're right, bro.

3449.301 - 3454.009 Matt Rife

I'm trying to ride that high. Yeah, you're right, bro. There's different avenues to it for sure.

Chapter 7: What experiences does Matt share about touring in Europe?

3453.989 - 3462.319 Matt Rife

Versus if you jerk off after like, I don't know, 7.30 p.m. That's more of a downer, I feel like. That's supposed to relax you. That's to close it down. Yeah, I think so.

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3462.879 - 3467.645 Theo Von

What did they tell you? What was like, did you try a CPAP machine?

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3467.665 - 3481.762 Matt Rife

Did they do all that kind of stuff too? Yeah, it's not a problem like that, dude. Honestly, they can't figure out what the problem is, which drives me fucking crazy. I'm like, what am I, an anomaly? I'm like the one person in the world who has whatever... Problem I have with my brain doesn't seem possible.

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3481.802 - 3494.202 Theo Von

Right, like you're like a wake squat or something. A what? A wake squat. You're like Bigfoot, but it's like for like somebody that won't sleep or whatever. Like if you've seen him, he doesn't sleep or whatever. I think I have whatever Michael Jackson had. Maybe I have vitiligo or something.

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Chapter 8: What is the significance of the haunted house and the Annabelle doll?

3494.222 - 3515.884 Theo Von

Maybe that's keeping me up. Does that keep you up? Maybe. Dude, I just saw this thing the other day about when Michael Jackson went to Brazil. Can you bring that up? Dude, he did a lot of things that... He challenged the status quo. He wanted to go to Brazil to the favelas to shoot. Which video was it? They don't care about us right here.

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3516.646 - 3545.599 Theo Von

A song by the American singer Michael Jackson, initial release. Man, he was a beautiful Asian woman. Yeah, dude. I saw him one time when I was on stage. We used to do the – there was a comedy club in Westwood at – I can't even remember it now. It was like Steve Byrne was there all the time, Adam Hunter, like a lot of great comics in the L.A. scene. Dane would come in sometimes.

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3546.219 - 3563.4 Theo Von

But out the window – I was on stage one time, and out the window next door there was an Oz costume shop, A-H-H-H-S, like Oz. Onomatopoeia. Yeah. Onomatopoeia, dude. And he pulled up with some security guards and got out and went in there. It was like after hours. They let him go into the costume shop.

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3563.42 - 3566.704 Matt Rife

No way. Yeah, you would open up the store for Michael Jackson.

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3566.764 - 3580.943 Theo Von

I'm on stage, and I see, and I know he lived not far away, and it was just the craziest thing. I'm like, oh, that's Michael Jackson. And I'm on stage saying, because I can see out this window on stage, and the audience can't see. It's from the second story. Oh, they think you're making it up. Yeah, like, you're a f***.

3580.923 - 3587.761 Matt Rife

I get some guy yelling. I'm like, whoa. Just because I saw Michael Jackson? Yeah, dude. He's really there. He's not my fucking sleep paralysis demon.

3588.323 - 3605.241 Theo Von

Yeah, dude. Yeah. So people will just call you just that for anything now. Oh, I know. What were we talking about? Sleep, and then... Oh, yeah. What were some of the modalities that they... Because I'm assuming you went pretty deep down this hole trying to figure this out.

3605.481 - 3606.042 Matt Rife

Oh, yeah.

3606.062 - 3607.926 Theo Von

Because you had to take a break, right?

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