Three Bean Salad
Episodes
The Olympics
18 Mar 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Charlie of Loughborough feeds The Olympics into the bean machine for this week’s lukewarm topic. Any of Henry, Mike or Ben could definitely have bee...
Chickens
11 Mar 2026
Contributed by Lukas
The chicken. Tuna Of The Fields. The Bishop’s Rest. The Pauper’s Goose. Captain Susan’s Seed Hoover. El Punzón Que Vuela. The Crap Eagle. That ...
The Coastguard
04 Mar 2026
Contributed by Lukas
The coastguard is this week’s topic at the behest of Cat of Ontario, Canada. Given the fact that Canada is the nation with the longest coastline in ...
Road Trips
28 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
According to facts there are more roads in the world now than at any point in history: the A49, Route Sixty-Something, Thunder Road etc and so on. Sur...
Cavemen
21 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
The Caveman. Stone Age creature. Witness of the dawn of humanity. He knows only that he must survive and that he must survive only to procreate so tha...
Memory
14 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
If a tree fell in the forest and made no sound why do you remember it so clearly? And when was this? Pre-Covid? And what on Earth was Derek doing ther...
Bodybuilders
07 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Emily of Oxford tunes in to the vibes of a brand new year and reckons what the world needs to hear about from the beans is bodybuilders. It’s a well...
Film Corner - Avatar: Fire And Ash
31 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The beans convene an emergency Film Corner to watch James Cameron's latest visit to the alien paradise of Pandora.Film Corner episodes are usually Pat...
Ratmas 2025
24 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
For reasons we can't fully remember, last year at Ratmas-tide we read out 12 rat anecdotes sent in by listeners. Well, it's back again and this time i...
Organised Crime
17 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The very latest statistics make it clear that, given the pervasiveness of organised crime worldwide, at least 2 regular listeners of Three Bean Salad ...
Laundry
10 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
How and where and why and when and if do you wash your undergarments? Presumably this is a conversation Douglas from Michigan wishes to prompt across ...
Neighbours
03 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The beans return refreshed, carefully groomed and oiled in all the right places for a new season of lukewarm banter. First up: neighbours, courtesy of...
It's November And This Episode Isn't An Episode
05 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until December)Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus episodes: www.patreon....
Fifth Wednesday Pod Replacement Pod
29 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday July and we only do four episodes a month because of mindfulness)Join our PATRE...
Town Planning
22 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
As our days grow shorter and our ear hair grows longer what better to reflect upon than the righteous placement of bollards and ethical commercial lan...
Donkey Milk Soap
15 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Even the most disciplined podcasters in the world are susceptible to the occasional whoopsie. So it is with this episode which, owing to circumstances...
Antarctica
08 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
It’s a lukewarm take on the Antarctic this week owing to the actions of Mark from near Colliers Wood. We all know that the Antarctic holds strong ap...
Sunday Roasts
01 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Lee of the Black Country wants the beans discuss Sunday roasts this week, presumably because he’s not allowed to have one himself this weekend. But ...
Extreme Sports
24 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In WW2 a shortage of materials led to parachute silk often being recycled into knickers and vice versa. In honour of this the beans continue to send t...
Kitchen Gadgets
17 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This week the beans tackle kitchen gadgets thanks to Tymon of Poland. Currently there are no legal restrictions on or requirements for the personal us...
Australia
10 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
People are known to have travelled from Bristol to Australia and vice versa on various occasions and sometimes more than once. Given these strong link...
Noodles
03 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Sam of Aurora slung noodles into the bean machine, and the beans attacked it with relish, going deep on the topic in such a way that you'll never look...
Free Patreon episode - And Then Sparrows Took Their Eyes: Hans The Hedgehog
13 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A freebie Patreon episode to give you a taste of the sort of thing we do over there. Henry tells Mike and Ben the story of Hans The Hedgehog.www.patre...
It's August! Non-Ep!
06 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until September)Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus episodes: www.patreon...
Fifth Wednesday Not-A-Pod Pod
30 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday July and we only do four episodes a month because of an EU directive)Join our P...
Hiking
23 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Hailey of Guildford offers up hiking as a topic for the beans this week which is nothing to be ashamed of. Just as the cardinal rule of the hiker is t...
Queen Victoria
16 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Queen Vic, Lil’ Drina, Granny Europe, The Windsor Widow, The Saxe-Coburg Slicker, Big Bo Peep. Whatever you call her, Queen Victoria still holds the...
Archery
09 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Match Of The Day. Big Break. Bullseye. All of the major British sports have been comprehensively covered by television for decades - except archery. L...
Seagulls
02 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Dr G has the beans get all lukewarm under the collar about seagulls this week. Voted the animal least likely to be of any use in warfare four years ru...
Old Wives' Tales
25 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The presumably unreconstructed Nick of Chicago feeds “Old Wives’ Tales” into the Bean Machine which spew-jects it just at the moment the beans a...
The Sixties
18 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
They say if you remember the 60s then you didn’t really do yourself any serious brain damage in the 60s. Perhaps someone in that situation would be ...
Moths
11 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The beans have avoided it for as long as possible but Roddy of London has spoken and what he spake is “Moths”. This could be a fearsomely difficul...
Wild Camping
04 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Sean of Exeter kicks off a hot summer of lukewarm banter by suggesting the beans discuss wild camping. Sub-topics could but don’t include how to mak...
Non-isode
07 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until June).Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus episodes: www.patreon.com...
Fifth Wednesday back in 10 minutes transmission
30 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday April and we will only do four Wednesday episodes in a month out of respect for...
The Renaissance
23 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
George is a native of Stockport, birthplace of The Renaissance, and so it is little wonder he has chosen that very topic for this week’s episode. Ar...
Language
16 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Ella from Cambridge but currently in Cuba has offered up language as this week’s topic. Could she have known that the beans would not only take on t...
Ham Salad
09 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
You will no doubt have a strong opinion on ham. It has been a muse to poets, a justification for war lords, a promise between lovers. It is mankind’...
Festivals
02 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
It’s Helen of Bristol’s turn to feed the bean machine this week which has led to the topic being festivals. Of course there’s a festival for blo...
The Vikings
26 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Evidence that Vikings used toothpicks has been found in Eastern Sweden according to Big Archaeology. And who would dare to disagree with them, let alo...
Gardening
19 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
What are the beans really but gardeners of knowledge? For the benefit of all mankind they nurture the seeds of data, strip away the weeds of untruth a...
Giants
12 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Samuel of 84A High Street chooses giants as this week’s topic and no doubt he has his reasons. Should you wish to know those reasons the beans are u...
Space Travel Tourism
05 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
What is your council tax liability if you build a holiday bungalow in outer orbit? How would you recycle all that cosmic glassware? And most important...
Anti-episode episode-isode
05 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until March).But sign up to PATREON for weekly bonus episodes throughout March, ad-free ep...
Fifth Wednesday Advice-cast
29 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday January and we will only do four Wednesday episodes in a month out of respect f...
D.I.Y.
22 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Steven of Oslo suggests DIY as the topic for this week’s episode so if you’re looking for the audio equivalent of a double-treaded sub-insulated T...
Guy Fawkes
15 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
We will never know if Guy Fawkes’ grim end would have changed had his barrister not gone for the “He only wanted to make the Houses of Parliament ...
Peter Pan
08 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A bean sharp scalpel is applied to a literary classic this week as Robin from Weymouth suggests the topic of Peter Pan. Could we have had Darth Vader ...
The Railway
01 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The railway is this week’s topic thanks to Nick of Kent (which for our international listeners is “The Garden of England” according to Kent. It ...
Ratmas
29 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
To date the indisputable peak of human scientific endeavour has been managing to hide a bonus track on a CD. The natural next summit is to hide a bonu...
Hippos
25 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Tis the Yule and Jacob from Manchester very cannily suggests hippos as this week’s topic. In Aesop’s fable, the hippo is humiliated by being left ...
Monuments
18 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Annie of Cork City reckons it’s high time the beans talked monuments and who could argue with that? Tune in for a lukewarm take on this zeitgeisties...
Interior Design
11 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Most of us can only dream of the splendour of the internal spaces occupied by London’s elite. A lucky few might have a neighbour who’s made it big...
The Netherlands
04 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Steven of Utrecht gets the beans wagging them tongues about the Netherlands to kick the new season off. And why the bloody hell not? After all the bea...
Un-episode-isode
06 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until December).Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.pat...
Fifth Wednesday Informationcast
30 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday October and we only do four episodes a month - take it up with our lawyer, Juli...
Budget Airlines
23 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Put your seat back into the reclining position (but only if you have the express consent of the person behind you who has also ideally reclined their ...
Sharks
16 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Dan from Bremen chooses sharks for this week’s topic as well he might. After all, just as the shark is a perfectly evolved apex predator, so is the ...
The Pyramids
09 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
True to form, Tutankhamun from the Nile Delta has selected the pyramids as this week’s topic. Were these structures named after the shape or was it ...
Adverts
02 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Adverts: lifeblood of the nation, engine of the economy, coal of the mind. What could be more splendid then than a podcast episode which already conta...
Pasta
25 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
It’s drive time on Bean FM and this week the lukewarm hits are in the key of “pasta” thanks to Matt of Bremen! We’ve got all the latest celebr...
Mushrooms
18 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The beans doff their caps (FUNGUS PUN!) to Adam of Bremington Spa for providing this weeks topic: mushrooms. What (or who???) are mushrooms? And why? ...
Jazz
11 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Looking for a clear explanation of the syncopated contrapuntal elaboration of static half-diminished harmony tritone substitution turnaround? Then loo...
Vampires
04 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Play this episode directly in front of a mirror and no reflection of it shall ye see because this episode, the first of season fourteen, is all about ...
Non-episode-isode-isode-isode-isode-isode
06 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until September).Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.pa...
Fifth Wednesday Precaution Alert
31 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday July and we will only do four Wednesday episodes in a month on the basis of har...
Archaeology
24 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week the beans are scraping away the topsoil of knowledge and softly brushing away the woodlice of friendship to reveal a hoard of lukewarm bante...
Boats
17 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
"Why is that Wikipedia doesn’t bother having any pages about aquatic craft these days?”, you might ask if you’d had your head stuck in a honey b...
Haircuts
10 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Rebecca from (The?) Wirral selects haircuts as this week’s topic for the beans. Presumably this was a cynical attempt to silence Henry for an episod...
My Hot Air Balloon Ride
03 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week, Bonjamin Partridge centralises power, unilaterally suppresses any viable opposition and brings all bean media under executive control. “B...
Feudalism
26 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Is it true what they don’t say that the world is on the brink of sliding back into a system of feudalism? If so where will you be in the pecking ord...
Gameshows
19 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Allison of Penistone has the beans talk about gameshows this week and by gum they don’t disappoint. Or do they? Why not play the ultimate game of ch...
Libraries
12 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
It is said that there as many books in the libraries of the world as there are atoms in a book (although not sure which book. Actually that doesn’t ...
Eggs
05 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
A brand new series kicks the talon of lukewarm banter through the paper-thin shell of rules before squawking truth bombs from the beak of freedom and ...
Non-episode caretaker abeyance-isode
01 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until June).Join our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad for bonus episodes.
Farming
24 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week the beans doff their Harris Tweed flap caps to Chrissie of Bremen whose topic suggestion of farming has slipped out of the bean machine’s ...
Wine
17 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Industrial Revolution, the assassination of Julius Caesar, the debut performance of “Wang Dang Doodle” by Howlin’ Wolf, the wedding of Jérô...
Olives
10 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Trigger warning for any misophonia sufferers this episode (although Henry probably weeded these people out long ago). Olives is this week’s topic wi...
Cloche Bleue
03 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Cloche Bleue: noun 1) Term used to denote a blue bell or a cat named Bluebell by a French speaker or by members of London’s metropolitan elite 2) a...
The Beach
27 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Matt from Newcastle gets the beans chatting about the beach this week. Sure they cover the hits (your shingle, your windbreaks, your snorkels and so o...
Tough Guys
20 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This weeks topic is tough guys and that’s thanks to Joe from Bremen in the Cotswolds who clearly understands what this podcast is actually about. Na...
Ghosts
13 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Isaac of Bremen recommends the beans set banter to spooky and discuss ghosts this week. As you’d imagine they put what has long been a contentious s...
Stonehenge
06 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Did the druidic architecture firm that designed Stonehenge make their pitch with a scale model made of beans? Were the stones moved halfway across Bri...
Interim non-episode anti-episode-isode
07 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until March).Join our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad for bonus episodes.
Fifth Wednesday Warning Broadcast
31 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday January and we will only do four Wednesday episodes in a month on the basis of ...
Circus
24 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
For the last episode of the season place your head in the jaws of podcasting and let its lukewarm slobber cascade into your ears because the theme, wi...
James Bond
17 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
“Frankly, 007, I don’t give a damn!” That’s right, this week’s topic, courtesy of Diogo of Lisbon, is James Bond. We’ve all seen the movie...
Castles
10 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Holly of Portsmouth blesses the beans with the ancient chat topic of castles for this week’s episode. They get close harmony groups and genetically ...
Architecture
03 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Ali requests that the Beans explore the topic of architecture and they do their best to take the roof off, knock through the kitchen and dining room t...
Fairytales
27 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Emma has the beans discuss fairy tales for the last episode of 2023. It’s nasty business on the whole as anyone who has actually read an original fa...
Cruises
20 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
It’s only a matter of time before the beans’ merch empire knocks the competition into a cocked hat with the launch of Beantopia: Three Bean Salad’...
Disguises
13 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Hats off to Ross of Vancouver and then immediately put a different hat on along with a rubber nose and a set of matching eyebrow wigs because Ross has...
Assassinations
06 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
The beans are back! A bumper episode to kick off the new series. Lots to cover. And Samuel steers the beans towards the topic of assassinations which ...
Non-episode-isode-isode
01 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until December).Join our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad for bonus episodes.
Surfin'
25 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
To round off series whatever it is Isabella feeds surfin' into the bean machine in the hope of crystal clear, effluent-free lukewarm banter. Will the ...
The Trojan War
18 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Definitely a cursed episode this one. No one’s fault. Worth knowing going in though. If you’re brave enough to take the plunge you’ll discover t...
The Higgs Boson/Particles
11 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Muriel from Illinois has the beans discuss The Higgs Boson/Particles this week. Listeners might be concerned the beans are entering knowledge-gap terr...
Fashion
03 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Thank goodness one of the beans is a jewel-encrusted member of London’s glitterati because this week’s topic, thanks to Catherine of Bremen, is fa...
Elvis
27 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
It’s widely accepted that if Elvis Presley were alive today he would have made a really decent podcaster. Where better then to discuss his life and ...
Orange
20 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
The topic of orange is wmg’s gift to the beans this week and you can bet your bottom dollar the beans don’t just squeeze every last drop of chat j...