The end of etiquette
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
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The etiquette kid them off that you're not an island alone. I don't understand. Like I would I just wouldn't do that. I think it's so annoying. Let's just talk, let's be civilized.
Okay, this morning I was trying to get to work and racing for the train. I'm about to swipe my card so that I can step through when this woman blatantly pushes ahead of me in line. We end up both getting to the train just in time. But I'm like, are you really so much more important than the rest of us that the rules don't apply to you? When we're children, we learn how to stand in line. That you wait for your turn at the water fountain. You wait for your turn to grab a pencil. You wait for your turn to tap your card so that you can get on the metro. She did not wait her turn. I'm not the only person who's irritated by this kind of thing. Almost a half of Americans say that they've noticed people have gotten ruder in the wake of the COVID pandemic.
It's like people don't know how to act anymore. This week I'm writing for basic manners.
I'm curious, where did the days go where people were kind? No excuse me, no pardon me, no hey man, um, can I get by you? You just how do you walk past somebody and I don't even acknowledge them? Everybody's got no matters.
I'm John Glenn Hill. This is Explain It to Me from Vox, and today we're gonna learn some manners.
Manners, of course, are a really good thing because they encourage us to think about others. and to behave in ways that are not antisocial and potentially even dangerous.
Kirsty Sedgman is a professor at the University of Bristol and she wrote the book on being unreasonable, breaking the rules, and making things better.
For me it boils down to Was it a rule that was built for a particular time that is now obsolete? Who was it built to benefit in the first place? And how can we have these conversations so that we figure out what we want what we all want social life and public space to be like? In a way that benefits everybody and doesn't accidentally exclude. It's not inherently elitist at all to ask people to adhere to what we call the social contract, which is that system of rules and norms that encourage pro-social behaviour and discourage deviance. And in fact, when I started researching on being unreasonable, I found out that the social contract is the only reason that we were able to form societies and civilizations.
Yeah. And it's really common to say that the reason that we're able to form these societies is because we developed the ability to r use tools, but actually just as fundamental was the ability to develop these contracts that would encourage us to trust strangers rather than to see them as a threat.
Oh, I think that's so interesting because this idea of a social contract, you know, this responsibility we have for others, putting your trust in others, being dependable for others. How is that holding up these days? Are we still abiding by our social contract?
That's what troubles me. So as far back as the ancient Greeks, people like Plato were complaining about People who used to be respectful and quiet and care about their elders, or at least able, he said, to be controlled with a stick if they became deviants.
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Chapters
4 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:00–6:37
2
What sparked the host’s frustration with people cutting in line on public transit?
6:37–15:27
3
How does the concept of the social contract explain the need for basic manners?
15:27–29:03
4
Why are people increasingly ignoring etiquette in crowded public spaces?
29:03–32:14