Tom Bilyeu's Impact Theory
Embracing Endings: James Sexton on Life, Death, Love, and Powerful Relationship Negotiation | Part 2
16 Jan 2026
Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Welcome back to part two of this incredible conversation. Without further ado, here we go. what's the most controversial thing that you believe? That you're like, oh God. This one is so true, but it winds people up. You'll never get canceled. You're too good at what you do.
I know, that's the best thing about it.
Chapter 2: What controversial views does James Sexton hold about relationships?
Thank God. I have to tell you, thank God I have a profession I'm really good at because it's the only way I haven't gotten killed for the stuff that I say. Because early on in my career, some of my colleagues, not early on in my media career, I should say. I was already a very established attorney for the last 25 years and I only really started the media thing like two years ago.
And some of my colleagues were like, are you afraid this is gonna screw up your legal brand? I was like, not at all. Like I'm just great in a courtroom. Like that's at the end of the day, like people don't care.
Like if I, listen, I'm like a progressive person, but if I needed like a very specialized surgery and they said, look, this guy, he's the best guy in the world at this surgery, but he's racist. I'd be like, I want him to do the surgery. Like I wanna have dinner with him. I'm not friends with him. Like, is he really good at the surgery? Cool. Like just do the surgery, man.
Like the same thing for me. Like I don't worry about, but the hottest take I have on relationship, it's all gonna be gender based stuff because gender stuff is so fraught right now. It's so fraught right now. Well, it is crazy to me, but I get it. I don't. Like, really?
You don't get it? I think it is absurd. I think people are shooting themselves in the face, or to use your language, they're stepping on the rake over and over and over.
But you don't think that it was born of good intentions? Like, I really believe that some of this stuff was born of good intentions.
Fine. I literally don't care. My thing is what works.
I get that you're like outcome focused and you're also like, I want to look at the truth. I don't want to like what I wish was true. Like I don't live in the should. Like, oh, well it shouldn't be this way. Okay, whatever it shouldn't be, like it is. This is what it is. So I totally get that.
But I think we have to, if we're going to like function as a culture, maybe it's because I argue for a living. Like I'm very interested in understanding why other people feel the way they feel. Like people I vigorously disagree with. Like I wanna understand where we diverge. I wanna understand like, cause I genuinely believe like if you were right, I would agree with you, you know?
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Chapter 3: How does embracing impermanence impact our relationships?
I think if we went back to a very traditional economic structure in this country where women were at home and men were working, it would be better for the divorce rate. Like we would not have as many divorces. I think that a function of late capitalism was let's get women into the workforce as quickly as possible. Like two is better than one.
Like two economic cogs in the machine is better than one. And by the way, they didn't sell it that way. They sold it properly. They sold it as, why can't your mom be a doctor? She has the right to be a doctor. Why couldn't your dad be a stay at home dad? Like you have a right to this. And by the way, same thing with the gender stuff. Same thing with the gender stuff.
Why does it have to be such clear lines as to how all men have to be? You said it yourself a minute ago. You have some feminine things in you, so you're already meeting in the middle. She has some masculine things in her. So we're acknowledging there's a spectrum, and we're acknowledging that there are masculine and feminine,
Chapter 4: What insights does James share from his experience as a hospice volunteer?
And we're acknowledging that it doesn't have to be rigid lines, that there should be some movement between this. You can have a little more of this, a little less of this. So we know that. So why would we, like, I understand the way we sold it to the world was to say, hey, why are we putting people in prisons? We all have masculine and feminine in us.
And so maybe gender is just like a spectrum and a construct. Okay, you've overcorrected now. Like gender means nothing. Biology means there's no such thing even as biological sex. And you know, like that's garbage. And we've lost that plot completely. I think if we could figure that out again, ideally without overcorrecting back in the other direction.
Now, some people are going to hear that and say, well, it'll be better for the divorce rate because the woman can't take care of herself. And so she's going to stay in the marriage just because she's trapped. I assume that's not what you mean.
You can control for that. No, I mean, listen, maybe you have universal basic income. Maybe you have some... other metric that creates like the ability, because I agree that there's something to that. Like that if you have, you know, I've worked with victims of intimate partner abuse, coercive control, domestic violence, who are like economically or socially trapped in a marriage.
And you know, I've been there, I've done that. So I certainly think like finance can be a weapon. You can certainly weaponize someone's economic need in a real way. I mean- But that's not what you mean.
So why do you think it would be better for marriage if we had, and you're not saying- Well, no, what I'm saying, let's separate the two things.
What I'm saying is I think that if people were allowed to engage their natural state as men and women, I, and without shame, like, so if a woman could say, yeah, I just want to stay home and have babies and like keep the home fire burning. And a man could say, yeah, I don't really want to like do babies, like is my thing. I want to like get out there and work.
I want to like get out there and bend the world to my will. Like, I enjoy that. Like, I want to like, you know, fight the fight. and that wasn't a dirty word, I think we would find some satisfaction. I think a lot more of us would be a lot happier. I think we've created a system that is serving no one's needs right now. I think everyone feels lost.
Whatever you're doing, you think you're doing it wrong. I don't know very many women that understand what's expected of them anymore. And I think they actually also, if they're being honest, and people lie to their therapist, but they don't lie to their divorce lawyer as often. they'll say like, yeah, when I'm with my kids, I feel like I'm failing at work.
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Chapter 5: What are the common misconceptions about death and dying?
I don't wanna like, I believe, and I know a little of your marriage, I think you have sex with as many women as you want to. That's a cool way to say it. I think you do. I think you have sex with as many, I think you and Andrew Tate or anybody else in the ministry have sex with as many women as you want to. And I think that's awesome.
Like, I think you have sex with as many women as you want to and it happens to be, Like I murder and rape as many people as I want to. Which is zero, because I'm not a monster, right? But it's, I don't not do it because it's illegal and I'm afraid I'll get in trouble.
No, I don't do it because like, so I think ideally you would want Lisa to only have sex with you because she finds sex with you deeply satisfying when you've eaten, you're not hungry anymore. So she feels like you guys have sufficient quality and quantity of sex for her needs to be met. That you believe trading variety for depth is good.
And that you guys feel you've found a real intimate connection together that you couldn't easily like reproduce with someone else. Like not, you know, I'd get in trouble. Or like, well, you know, then we might divorce. Like if the only thing keeping you from sleeping with other women is the threat of Lisa divorcing you, like don't do her any favors, man.
Like I think at the end of the day, like you guys sleep with as many people as you want to and it's one and that's great. That's a beautiful, beautiful thing. But I'm willing to bet that part of that is that you guys have open connection about that, communication about that.
You ask questions of like, hey, if something has changed, if we're having more sex, less sex, we're having different kind of sex, I'm having, but again, in the negotiation of it. So the way that you, because the question was about negotiation.
The example I always give is I don't believe in like, I believe in radical honesty, but I also believe that like sometimes it's good to like take a different route somewhere. Like behavior modification. Like I manipulate people's emotional state for a living. That's my job. Like courtroom lawyer, that's my job. I want the judge to feel sympathetic towards my client and dislike the other side.
I want the other side to feel unsafe. I want them to feel scared. I want my client to feel safe and protected. I want the court reporter to like me because then when we call a recess in testimony and they go in the back with the judge, they're going to go, Jim's really good. He's a nice guy. He's a good lawyer. So I want to work everyone's emotional state in that room.
So this is my job is to like manipulate, that's what I mean when I say I'm a weapon. Like I'm a weapon, my job is to manipulate everyone's emotional state. Now I can use my powers for good, I can use my powers for evil. But why not leverage some of that in your own relationship?
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