Menu
Sign In Search Podcasts Charts People & Topics Add Podcast API Blog Pricing
Podcast Image

Toni and Ryan

CONFESSION: I Hooked Up At A Funeral

27 Apr 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What healing experience did Toni share about a funeral?

0.031 - 2.313 Ryan Jon

Getting railed was strangely healing.

0

2.553 - 4.735 Toni Lodge

They both were at the funeral.

0

4.795 - 5.896 Ryan Jon

They met there, yeah.

0

6.997 - 9.159 Toni Lodge

Nah, that's too risky because you might be related.

0

9.199 - 18.107 Amber

Hey, I'm Amber. I'm from Utah in the US. I'm Monica from Hawker in the Flinders Ranges. I'm Cass from Brisbane, Australia. And I approve this podcast.

27.236 - 27.456

MUSIC PLAYS

31.891 - 45.27 Ryan Jon

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. This is Dr. Tony Lodge. My name is Ryan. And if you watched a reaction video on YouTube the other day, you will know that Tony has been flirting with someone who is not her fiance.

45.291 - 60.733 Toni Lodge

I know. I have been, just a little recap for anybody that didn't see it. I've been like sweet talking someone from customer service because I ordered Torbz's... The thing is that they know that I'm in a relationship because it's about Torbz's wedding ring. So I ordered...

60.815 - 64.87 Ryan Jon

Was it Ashley Madison? They specialise in affairs.

Chapter 2: How did Toni's attraction to a customer service representative unfold?

144.06 - 155.019 Toni Lodge

We finally got approval to post it on the company Instagram page. Let's do it now. Fuck you. Oh, that's put me in a right foul slot. Yeah. Okay. Sorry. Now I need to remember.

0

155.039 - 161.75 Ryan Jon

So when Tony apologizes about talking about excretions, that will be a real one.

0

161.77 - 191.11 Toni Lodge

That will be a real one. Okay. That I was sweet talking someone from customer service because I ordered Torbs' wedding ring and I... Can I tell you something that was so unexpected for me? I ordered this wedding ring. It arrived in the mail. Torbs put it on and I was like... My legs were jelly. I have... I've been attracted to this guy for a long fucking time. And in that moment...

0

192.524 - 212.372 Toni Lodge

You just- Quadruple billion times. Like, the jitters, like, they're just, like, the whole body, like- Giddy, like, butterflies in my tummy. Like, I got, like, a little chill. Like, just seeing him with the wedding, I just didn't think it would do anything. Like, I just didn't even- But I was like, I am gonna suck that married cock. Like-

0

212.588 - 214.27 Ryan Jon

You can suck that engaged cock now.

214.29 - 221.117 Toni Lodge

Yeah, and I know. But I did not expect to have any reaction to that. Really? I didn't really think about it.

221.137 - 222.979 Ryan Jon

Interesting. What do you think it was?

223.34 - 223.88 Toni Lodge

Huh?

223.9 - 224.281 Ryan Jon

Just like.

Chapter 3: What unexpected confession did Toni make about her feelings?

417.319 - 421.348 Toni Lodge

Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, it just sounds like it's not my problem.

0

421.369 - 428.465 Ryan Jon

Have you tried? Imagine calling nurse on call and they go, oh, yeah, my baby, like she's coughing. Have you tried Googling it?

0

428.485 - 440.481 Toni Lodge

Have you tried WebMD, you ugly bitch? Yeah. So I've fallen in love with a bot by accident. I didn't even realize. And then I did this trick and they think that they've tricked me back. But I know it's AI.

0

440.521 - 441.762 Ryan Jon

They don't know that they've been got.

0

441.782 - 443.825 Toni Lodge

They don't know that I know that they know that I know.

443.945 - 444.605 Ryan Jon

And that's on them.

444.625 - 445.586 Toni Lodge

Do you know what I mean?

445.606 - 449.37 Ryan Jon

Yeah. So do you feel let down that you did get flirty with a robot? I do.

449.53 - 461.905 Toni Lodge

I actually feel embarrassed. It's like when sometimes if you watch a reel, like, you know, all those bunnies on the trampoline and you go, oh, those bunnies on the trampoline are cute. Everyone goes, that's AI. And you go, fuck. Like, and you feel embarrassed?

Chapter 4: How did the conversation shift to discussing AI interactions?

653.908 - 654.649 Toni Lodge

I would pick you.

0

655.405 - 657.007 Ryan Jon

Why are we on a cliff?

0

657.027 - 672.806 Toni Lodge

Just because it's fun to think about these things. If I were to choose between two things I love on an aeroplane... But, like, the concept of, like, the other one falls to a fiery death and you can't access it anymore is more the, like... But the finality of it is why you're on a cliff.

0

672.826 - 686.303 Ryan Jon

If I'm on a cliff and below is, like, cold water in the ocean because it's, like, you know, the clifftop and... I'm on fire and a toasted cheese is on fire, who would you push off and who would you keep up there?

0

687.945 - 703.182 Toni Lodge

I'd keep you up here because I'd douse the flames that you're in with my Yeti water bottle because that's always full of cold water. It's actually an incredible answer. So I'd keep you so that you didn't fall to your death, but I'd be able to put the flames out in another way.

704.083 - 704.443 Ryan Jon

Gotcha.

704.623 - 707.807 Toni Lodge

Like I don't want you to fall all the way down because what if you hit your head on a rock or something?

708.167 - 709.088 Ryan Jon

Or the water.

709.287 - 719.247 Toni Lodge

No, but that's like, you know, that water line. It's not like impervious to going down and hitting your head or hitting a rock or a shark or...

Chapter 5: What humorous stories emerged from listener confessions?

1781.619 - 1782.76 Toni Lodge

I'm guessing it was probably.

0
0

1784.502 - 1785.523 Toni Lodge

You just had a haircut.

0

1785.824 - 1795.37 Ryan Jon

No, because that's like an observation, which is correct. I go, I think I'm getting a haircut. You've actually already used this word today and you just went, addiction.

0

1796.535 - 1811.402 Toni Lodge

I said, you're addicted. You're addicted to haircuts. Addiction. Do you know what's really funny? Addiction. Is the way that you're telling the story is very – because I don't cut my own hair, but I cut my own fringe.

1811.422 - 1812.443 Ryan Jon

A little trim of the fringe, yeah.

1812.944 - 1831.765 Toni Lodge

Like I always have. I get my hairdresser, Raquel, cuts it in for me. But between – because I like it really short. It doesn't stay short for very long. But I'll give it a good trim and then I'll give it a wash and then I'll wear it that way for a day and then I go, oh, nah, it needs a bit more. I've missed a bit. Oh, yeah. It's been uneven, yeah. Like it's cut.

1831.745 - 1855.557 Toni Lodge

kind of always a work in progress yeah so the way that you're describing it now actually fully understand because that like if we were to if we were in a position this is just being very being very vulnerable in this intervention is that if someone was addicted to haircuts it's probably me because i cut my fringe like every day Addicted.

1855.577 - 1855.918

Addiction.

Chapter 6: What was the reaction to the confession about hooking up at a funeral?

1955.08 - 1956.482 Toni Lodge

No, because you're already hot.

0

1956.502 - 1959.186 Ryan Jon

But you're wiping the sweat off, you feel clean, get it out of your pores.

0

1959.206 - 1961.55 Toni Lodge

A cold wet towel, yes, but a hot towel, no.

0

1962.374 - 1964.576 Ryan Jon

A warm towel. Okay, here is the challenge.

0

1964.596 - 1968.68 Toni Lodge

You know when you get like an icy towel? I am so confident. Like at a restaurant or something?

1969.341 - 1974.526 Ryan Jon

I am so confident that there's never a bad time for a warm towel.

1974.546 - 1976.368 Toni Lodge

I'm really struggling to come up with like.

1976.548 - 1989.782 Ryan Jon

My challenge is for you is to in the next three weeks at whatever time you feel appropriate is to present me with a hot towel. Like try and find my spot where I didn't want it.

1989.762 - 1999.931 Toni Lodge

Question, can I present you with the concept of a hot towel or does it have to physically be a hot towel? Because having that on me all the time is going to be like tricky.

Comments

There are no comments yet.

Please log in to write the first comment.