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Toni and Ryan

CONFESSION: I Hooked Up With The Wrong Twin

11 May 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What surprising revelation did Toni learn at the hen party?

0.031 - 12.149 Toni Lodge

I went to a colleague's hen party where I learned she was a twin. One thing led to another in a fancy bathroom stall. This is when all hell broke loose.

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13.01 - 14.472 Unknown

Hi, I'm Jamie from Ipswich, Australia.

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Chapter 2: What unexpected event happened in the bathroom stall?

14.633 - 29.835 Unknown

I'm Suze from Belfast, Ireland. Hi, I'm Kristen from Boston, Massachusetts, USA. And I approve this podcast.

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34.152 - 41.25 Toni Lodge

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. This is Dr. Author, best-selling Dr. Author, Tony Lodge. My name is Ryan and I got beef with the postal people.

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Chapter 3: How did the mix-up with the twins lead to chaos?

41.41 - 41.671 Unknown

Post.

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42.433 - 47.686 Toni Lodge

Yesterday, I wanted to leave the house and go to the gym. Thank you. Please applaud me.

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47.846 - 50.473 Unknown

Thank you very much. We're wearing a matching outfit, I just realized.

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50.453 - 53.117 Toni Lodge

Yeah, because I loved you so fucking much.

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53.137 - 55.141 Unknown

I love that jumper that you got in New York.

55.161 - 61.351 Toni Lodge

New York. Now, I get texts every three minutes from the delivery company.

Chapter 4: What was the reaction to the wrong twin situation?

61.391 - 62.232 Unknown

Coming around the corner.

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62.693 - 63.314 Toni Lodge

It's now been here.

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63.334 - 63.875 Unknown

Turning up the street.

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63.915 - 72.665 Toni Lodge

You're two stops away. Yeah. Here's a tracking device or something. And it's like, you need to be home because you need to sign for this one.

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72.745 - 73.165 Unknown

Totally.

73.426 - 73.986 Toni Lodge

And I was like.

74.126 - 76.188 Unknown

And was Bridge home or like you had to sign?

76.208 - 76.929 Toni Lodge

Well, she was out.

77.089 - 77.37 Unknown

Yeah.

Chapter 5: How did the delivery drama unfold during the episode?

80.573 - 81.674 Unknown

Yeah. Gym and dentist.

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81.694 - 96.976 Toni Lodge

Yeah. Clean teeth and jack. That's just how you describe our family, actually. That's awesome. So I wanted to go to the gym and I'm like, oh, well, I'm going to have to wait for this package because I need to sign for it because, you know. I don't want to be the guy who received 47 text messages.

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97.257 - 98.218 Unknown

And still wasn't there.

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98.238 - 108.973 Toni Lodge

And still fucked it up. And then I waited all afternoon. Oh, just around the corner. Well, fucking how many corners, dog? Because no, clearly not correct information.

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108.994 - 109.214 Ryan Jon

Yeah.

109.414 - 115.984 Toni Lodge

I sat there all day and then suddenly it's like, I'm probably not going to get to the gym before I have to pick up Mabel from daycare.

116.004 - 116.264 Ryan Jon

Yeah.

116.865 - 128.322 Toni Lodge

And then I see BJ who's sitting in front of the fire. Tough life, my dog. And just sort of he goes like. Kind of looks up and goes, and then just puts his head back down in the fryer.

128.523 - 130.847 Unknown

And you're like, oh, okay. Thanks for letting me know.

Chapter 6: What humorous stories were shared about twins and their confusions?

199.695 - 218.611 Unknown

And then it either comes at 10 or 3. And you go, well, the very nature of a window is that it is not flexible. Otherwise, it's not a window. It's just a fucking tarp on a door. Like... A window, like the nature of a window is that it is not flexible.

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218.671 - 227.138 Toni Lodge

Is it too much of a visual guide for me to stand facing the wall and stare at it and say, I'm looking at a window?

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228.704 - 237.743 Unknown

No, because you've explained it now. Yeah, I'm not going to get up. You can do it if you want. I'm not going to get up. That's what frustrates me is that I go like, well, if it's a window.

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237.783 - 245.139 Toni Lodge

The amount of text and security. Actually, don't give me a window. It was as if it was a famous jewel that's been uncovered from under the ground in fucking Egypt.

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245.159 - 246.662 Unknown

A famous jewel? Yeah.

246.642 - 251.69 Toni Lodge

Like it's something that would be stolen in a- The mummy. Yeah.

251.71 - 251.93 Unknown

Yeah.

252.13 - 252.611 Toni Lodge

So true.

252.691 - 253.773 Unknown

Or a national treasure.

Chapter 7: What did the hosts say about the consequences of the hen party incident?

372.062 - 381.838 Toni Lodge

New news. Like if you worked with someone, you wouldn't be like, by the way, do you have any siblings that are the exact same age? Like you would just go about your day.

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381.958 - 400.691 Unknown

No, but. If you're at the stage where you're invited to their hen party, which is like a private event, I think that you would know enough about them to know whether they had a sibling or whatever and they'd go, my twin sister or twin brother or whatever. I reckon that you would know that, don't you think?

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400.991 - 405.338 Toni Lodge

So she rocks up and goes, oh, there's another one. You know, what a shock.

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407.191 - 410.715 Unknown

Have you ever been... I know that we've heard some twin stories in our time.

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410.735 - 411.717 Toni Lodge

And we're about to hear another one.

412.397 - 417.063 Unknown

But have you ever been, like, surprised or confused by a twin?

417.484 - 418.405 Toni Lodge

Ashton Kutcher's twin.

420.307 - 420.528 Unknown

What?

421.008 - 421.909 Toni Lodge

Ashton Kutcher is a twin.

Chapter 8: What final thoughts did the hosts share about relationships and twins?

497.111 - 498.753 Toni Lodge

Like that's why you're at a Fringe. I'll come see your show.

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498.773 - 499.073 Unknown

Totally.

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499.474 - 504.366 Toni Lodge

And I'm like. If the show isn't great, like, I'm sleeping in the same room as these guys tonight.

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504.386 - 504.486 Unknown

Yeah.

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504.506 - 505.669 Toni Lodge

Oh, what do you think of the show?

506.431 - 508.437 Unknown

Oh. God, I love the lighting.

508.597 - 521.73 Toni Lodge

Yeah. So, it was me. And I think three others turned up in a room with like a – there was 50 seats and there was me. And then there was three others and one of them left halfway through. Yeah.

521.93 - 524.054 Unknown

And I was like – They're not conjoined at all.

524.235 - 524.595 Toni Lodge

Yeah.

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