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Toni and Ryan

Toni Found The Best Butter On Earth

29 Apr 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is the best butter on earth mentioned in this episode?

0.031 - 4.115 Toni Lodge

You know that I am a butter slut. I love butter.

0

4.216 - 5.557 Unknown

Boy, have I got something for you.

0

5.817 - 7.119 Toni Lodge

We don't.

0

7.619 - 8.52 Unknown

I'll put it on top there.

0

9.381 - 16.889 Toni Lodge

This is the best butter I've ever eaten in my whole f***ing life. Hi, I'm Sophie from Perth, Western Australia.

17.33 - 24.958 John Terry

Hi, I'm John Terry from fabulous Las Vegas in the US. Hi, I'm Georgie from Melbourne, Australia. And I approve this podcast.

26.997 - 43.6 Unknown

Welcome to the podcast. We're both wearing purple. Or is this brown?

43.661 - 44.642 Toni Lodge

Oh, no, that's purple.

44.722 - 47.125 Unknown

We're both wearing purple. It's going to be a great day.

Chapter 2: What are the hosts' thoughts on eating butter straight?

54.416 - 83.397 Toni Lodge

That's fun. coincidence chat um i've got some normal chat what are you wearing charles charles you have to wear pants to work that is unbelievable again that's unbelievable i've got something to say about our office and i think it might be all offices in australia oh one office many office office office can you push air through your penis

0

85.553 - 93.724 Unknown

I'm going to need one skerrick of context as in why that occurred to ask in this exact moment.

0

94.425 - 109.245 Toni Lodge

This is going to really annoy you. But the reason is because I thought, can you suck air through your penis? The more context I have is just the inverse of what I already said. Like, can you push or suck air through your cockhole?

0

109.465 - 110.667 Unknown

I reckon not much.

0

111.558 - 130.33 Toni Lodge

Not possible to intentionally push air into the bladder or through the penis. Judy is sphincters. Hardly knowers. Like, could you do... Like, so if we were having sex, like... Hypothetically. Oh, we'll have to try. Like, and I could queef out my fanny giant. Could you queef out your penis hole?

130.55 - 130.831 Unknown

No.

131.812 - 146.049 Toni Lodge

Oh. Imagine if it was like a little party blow. It was like... Or like when you just like you felt a fart and it was like, like it was like a little straw. Sorry, I just blew out a heap of spit. That's a shame.

146.77 - 147.531 Unknown

Have we started?

147.631 - 149.093 Toni Lodge

It has so much potential.

Chapter 3: How do the hosts feel about microwave popcorn?

186.824 - 187.785 Toni Lodge

I love Steph.

0

188.002 - 214.228 Unknown

Rubbing your popcorn on the inside of the bag to get extra flavor as you're taking it out. Toughest step. This is normal or nah. Before I eat my popcorn, I grab the kernels and rub them on the inside of the microwave bag to make sure I get all of the extra butter and all of the extra salt. Maximum flavor, extra bang for my buck. My sister thinks it's diabolical, but I think it's normal.

0

214.58 - 234.51 Toni Lodge

Sorry, I'm just over here having a fucking sensory meltdown. Obviously, this is suitable for like a microwave popcorn. Yep. Because at the cinema, it doesn't have the, it's like already. I physically cannot eat microwave popcorn out of the, I have to put it into the spew bowl.

0

234.79 - 235.491 Unknown

Yeah.

0

235.471 - 250.459 Toni Lodge

i cannot physically reach my hand into that crusty little bag and i tell you for what because when your palm the back of your palm grazes the salt and the crinks on the in

252.92 - 275.653 Unknown

on the it gets on the back of your that makes me feel so nicky-nacky i don't like that at all i can't do that nothing has made me ever feel as nicky-nacky as you saying the words nicky-nacky that has just really rubbed me up like the inside of a microwave popcorn bag and that's how i feel right now thinking about the inside of the microwave popcorn bag

275.633 - 295.786 Toni Lodge

I cannot do it. It makes me so physically uncomfortable. And there's just no way to maneuver your hand. It's got a pretty big, like the top is quite big, but I still just like you get the stuff on you. Your hand gets really dirty. It gets like a little bit of the butter on it. Everything sticks to you. I just like it makes me feel so upset.

296.046 - 297.989 Unknown

Do you need to drink some water and take a deep breath?

298.089 - 299.211 Toni Lodge

I don't need to calm down.

Chapter 4: What is 'normal or nah' and how does it work?

335.254 - 336.715 Unknown

Do you need a horse photo?

0

336.735 - 350.608 Toni Lodge

I think I need the horse photo. I'm sorry. No, actually, I'm not sorry. I'm advocating for what I need. I need the horse photo. Fuck, there's some shit in there. What are you doing in there?

0

350.628 - 356.59 Unknown

We've got a lot of twist bars. We got a red hair because when I was the girl that worked in real estate.

0

356.67 - 358.592 Toni Lodge

Yeah. No, you were Julia Roberts.

0

358.772 - 359.393 Unknown

Yeah.

359.953 - 363.938 Toni Lodge

I've got my colonoscopy results. That's not going to help me seeing your fucking bowel again.

363.978 - 369.163 John Terry

I'm pretty sure the horse foot is in the middle drawer.

374.489 - 377.813 Unknown

That's the most upsetting thing I've ever seen. It's like, have you seen that woman anywhere?

377.833 - 381.477 Toni Lodge

No. The cops rock up and they go, have you seen her? And we go...

Chapter 5: What unusual food habits are discussed?

430.032 - 437.584 Toni Lodge

Where is the horse photo? I think it was under the podcast.

0

437.785 - 440.807 Unknown

Under Dr. Dick. Oh, why didn't you say so?

0

440.847 - 452.7 Toni Lodge

Here we go. This is actually helping. Is it?

0

452.72 - 453.521 Unknown

Yeah, it is.

0

455.023 - 455.904 Toni Lodge

Love you, horse photo.

455.964 - 456.604 Unknown

I'm glad it's helping.

456.644 - 463.772 Toni Lodge

You have to put it back in your thing. Because, God forbid, we can't find it. Oh, that would have been easier.

465.174 - 466.375 John Terry

We'll just leave that up for the rest.

470.287 - 470.948 Toni Lodge

Do you feel better?

Chapter 6: How does the episode address the topic of butter tourism?

599.066 - 608.378 Toni Lodge

Yeah. I love butter. This plate of assorted butters is really doing something to me.

0

608.611 - 620.202 Unknown

Now, I've learnt that, and this isn't what's on the table, by the way, but there's a place down near Queenscliff called Lard Arse Butter where they have, like, a salad door like a winery.

0

620.242 - 621.963 Toni Lodge

Get fucked.

0

622.263 - 645.548 Unknown

The dairy farmer's daughter hand-crafting award-winning cultured butter. They've got a roast fennel seed, a black garlic, a seaweed and miso, like, so you go down there and they bust out the crackers. So, you know, I was like, I... Noah buttery slut. I know we've had a rough start to the pod today because we talked about the really unsettling thing of I just went to put... On the table. Yeah.

0

646.309 - 650.034 Toni Lodge

Now... But we're winning me back over with my favourite food, butter.

650.314 - 661.368 Unknown

Now, we've been to Baker's Delight, obviously. Now, would you like to start with the pure cream butter? We've got the Normandy, like the French infused salted or what have we got here?

661.789 - 663.311 Toni Lodge

Guys, what the fucking hell?

663.351 - 665.854 Unknown

This is like a... Slow fermented in Fitzroy.

666.07 - 690.34 Unknown

that is the is that like a tuna tin with but that is the fanciest thing i've ever seen yeah and because we don't where did you fucking get that from we've been searching around and going to some like artisanal dallies to like get the best butter for our girl and the reason that you heard crazy noises before is we don't have a can opener and charles had to open that with the saw you sawed that open there it is

Chapter 7: What are the hosts' views on the cultural significance of butter?

803.173 - 810.481 Toni Lodge

I just add my own salt to that one. That one though, the one in the tin, that's beautifully salted. What's that called?

0

810.501 - 815.037 Unknown

Oh, it's tequila flavored. Are we going to be able to drive home?

0

815.217 - 819.324 Toni Lodge

Pure creamery butter. That one is absolutely delicious.

0

819.685 - 821.248 Unknown

Does that say tequila on it? No.

0

822.129 - 823.612 Toni Lodge

What does that say there?

823.632 - 824.554 Unknown

Oh, Mantequilla.

824.574 - 856.265 Toni Lodge

Mantequilla. Okay, and this one is the French Normandy one. This one looks like it's come from a foreign land. Oh, look at the shape of that one. Holy shit. It's got like a scalloped edge. That's fancy. That's fancy. Oh, and that's got a lovely knife feel. I'm making up terms.

856.646 - 863.615 Unknown

No, but that feels right. If we went to a salad or for butter, you would be like- Say things like that. You'd be like, oh, and it just falls off the knife.

863.715 - 890.335 Toni Lodge

Oh, the bouquet of that butter is just delightful. That's what I would say. I think I want to try that one. Yeah, try that one. I've put a lot of butter on this one. Oops. Fucking eat my little cock around. Yeah. This is the best butter I've ever eaten in my whole fucking life.

Chapter 8: What humorous anecdotes are shared about food experiences?

907.298 - 908.46 Unknown

What else is there in this world?

0

910.262 - 913.647 Toni Lodge

Oh, I'll be honest, right?

0

913.863 - 916.107 Unknown

She sat right back in the chair.

0

916.127 - 918.552 Toni Lodge

Just before, I thought there was no way winning me back today.

0

918.632 - 919.173 Unknown

Yeah.

919.193 - 925.244 Toni Lodge

And as my best friend, you knew that what I needed was to consume my fucking body weight in butter.

925.845 - 927.869 Unknown

That last one is still.

927.889 - 931.523 Toni Lodge

Do you guys want to taste this fucking butter? Is that crazy?

931.544 - 933.588 Unknown

That last one is unbelievable.

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