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Top Flight Time Machine

Comedy Sports Sports & Recreation

Episodes

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Two-Handed Mug Holding

29 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The rise of Sunderland, Brazil and Monkhouse, mortality, bequeathing, Dave Bassett, the golf, and an unexpected march.   Join the Iron Filin...

Muscles Fortnight 2025

26 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Emails, quantity, pain relief, protein, muscle water, King Kong, Larry Bird, child extortion, and kindness.  Join the Iron Filings Society: https...

TFTM Gold: The Keegan Odyssey - Part 38

24 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 13/9/19) Things grind to a halt at Manchester City as Kev analyses Joey Barton. Then it’s a night drive to London for a meeting with Mike Ashl...

IFS Unlocked: The Top Flight Time Machine Odyssey - Part 1

23 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 19/3/24) On our sixth birthday, we looked back at a list of ideas we’d had in the past that had been put on a spreadsheet by a bloke called Ca...

Britain’s Kindest Man

22 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We look at your nominations and compile a shortlist of the men that Sam must topple for his dream role.   Join the Iron Filings Society: htt...

Pain Now, Never Later!

19 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Likes and subscribes, drinking with Digby McDonald, ITN snack options, and a massage update.  Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon....

TFTM Gold: The Keegan Odyssey - Part 37

17 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 5/5/19) Kev brings in miserable Nicolas Anelka (bemusing Robbie Fowler into the bargain), unleashes Joey Barton on to an unsuspecting world, and...

IFS Unlocked: The Melchester Odyssey - Part 249

16 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 14/3/24) Roy’s incredible new look, The A-Team, Glenn Hoddle’s jazz party, Boycott’s new cap, and a dressing room defacement.  Join ...

The World’s Greatest Thing

15 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We pay tribute to the late Ricky Hatton, plus manmade vs nature, Darwin is dismissed, and striving for kindness.We've been outspoken about mental heal...

Argos Zoom-In

12 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Phoning for jobs, bonus Melchester, a girl bully, Billy Joel, baby Superman, fruit flies, and Mr T’s daughter.  Join the Iron Filings Society: ...

TFTM Gold: The Keegan Odyssey - Part 36

10 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 28/8/19) Deep vein thrombosis, speeding tickets, Stuart Pearce’s final match, celebrity ant-related gossip, and should Sam and Andy be running...

IFS Unlocked: The Lotto Lout Odyssey - Part 9

09 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 6/3/24) Petrol economics, niche theatre, Ray Winstone, pop groups on the dole, and car boot sale chic.   Join the Iron Filings Society...

Hot Flight Tub Machine

08 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Cat grandadding, flats, stoning windows, uncling, fruit flies, weeds, a comfort purchase, and a new sport to love.  Join the Iron Filings Society...

Baymax’s Paws

05 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A pause, a charity appeal, bad backs and massages, reviews, Armani, Peter Sellers, and The Beatles.We've been outspoken about mental health Now we’r...

TFTM Gold: The Keegan Odyssey - Part 35

03 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 21/8/19) Kev tries to rid Maine Road of its booze culture. Plus Liam Gallagher, urine, and being drunk when grandma calls round.  Join the...

IFS Unlocked: Top Flight Tune Machine - 07/06/1993 Part 1

02 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 27/2/24) Just the chart countdown really… Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine and on Apple Podcas...

Human Honey

01 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Park drinking, sticker night, football pinks, Todd Boehly’s farming methods, deadline day, and a Delaney party.  Join the Iron Filings Society:...

Rescheduled Curry Night

29 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Sandwiches, food delivery, an expensive day out, 1984 pop reimagined, penalty fun, and a celeb snake escape.  Join the Iron Filings Society: http...

TFTM Gold: The Keegan Odyssey - Part 34

27 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 14/8/19) Kev moans about being England boss, Ron Atkinson’s TV-watching snack, Sam’s West Ham ticket office nightmare and surprising trip to...

IFS Unlocked: The Melchester Odyssey - Part 246

26 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 22/2/24) The Milk Cup, 1980s shares, tassel confiscation, the colander, Roy plays for England, and Panini stickers.  Join the Iron Filings ...

Emotional Support Doris

25 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Dementia’s inevitable creep, evidence, red carpet touching, grass assessment, donkey merch, and funk.  Join the Iron Filings Society: https://...

Shame

22 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A trip to the Fringe, an urban canine emergency, and an unexpected brush with a global TV phenomenon.  Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www...

TFTM Gold: The Keegan Odyssey - Part 33

20 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 10/8/19) Kev struggles with England as the Pigfaces of Fleet Street work their evil magic on him, in spite of a warning from Monte Fresco. And w...

IFS Unlocked: History Box - The Princess Anne Kidnap Part 3

19 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 13/2/24) Anne visits a hospital, a boxer saves the day, broadsheet coverage, the royal taping machine, and we meet Miss Sammy Scott.  Join ...

Dry Sharpie

18 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Illness, the return of the Premier League, unwanted pop-ups, journalistic excellence and an autograph fail.  Join the Iron Filings Society: https...

Strictly Bosh!

15 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A sort of football season preview, telly dances into oblivion, Sam’s greengage harvesting plans, and a prize car.  Join the Iron Filings Societ...

TFTM Gold: The Keegan Odyssey - Part 32

13 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 31/7/19) Michael Jackson visits Fulham before Kev leaves for England and an ageism crisis. Also, ghost minorities…   Join the Iron F...

IFS Unlocked: The Melchester Odyssey - Part 244

12 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 8/2/24) Cookie woes, four worried men, speed grassing, ageing teddy boys, radio hate, and an emergency meeting.  Join the Iron Filings Soci...

Don’t Kink The Feed

11 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Arcade etiquette, Isle of Wight telly, King of the Hill returns, grunge on Talksport, and wart chat.  Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www...

Pizza Restaurant Troll

08 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Holidaying, triangulator-avoidance, customer service, a parenting level unlocked, and Dad v Lad Olympics.  Join the Iron Filings Society: https:...

TFTM Gold: The Keegan Odyssey - Part 31

06 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 24/7/19) Kev moves to Fulham but we focus mainly on Mohamed Al-Fayed selling lions in Harrods and the magnificence of Ray Wilkins.  Join th...

IFS Unlocked: History Box - The Princess Anne Kidnap Part 1

05 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 30/1/24) Royal Uber-use, the UK’s most likeable bloke, old ITV music, wedding attire, picketing, and Jason Statham’s jaw.  Join the Ir...

‘Noel Gallagher is typing…’

04 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Sam goes to see Oasis at Wembley. Apologies for the persistent sound issues in this episode.  Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon....

Car Park Ducks

01 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The fox mystery continues, quizhousery, four Edmonds sightings, and some mailbag delving.  Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com...

TFTM Gold: The Keegan Odyssey - Part 30

30 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 17/7/19) KK leaves Tyneside and goes on holiday as the nation mourns. Plus regeneration chat, royal connections and new front door research tips...

IFS Unlocked: Life Logistics - Live Fox Incident

29 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 23/1/24) More Humphrey stuff, pre-watershed bedtime, landing a new job, house moving, and a musical dilemma.  Join the Iron Filings Society...

Disillusioned Monk

28 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Batteryheads, Travolta mirrors, Elvis fandom, a Texan invite, bear fear, and farewell to a fluffy legend  Join the Iron Filings Society: https://...

Parents Night For Elvis

25 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Argos news, podcaster abuse, Thai tales, Lisa Marie Presley, hologram rubbish, and scandal management.  Join the Iron Filings Society: https://w...

The 1984/85 Argos Catalogue - Part 4

23 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Handheld video games, Mario Kart life lessons, eBay activity, Reaganite Pac Man, cheques, and a Big Trak con.  Join the Iron Filings Society: ht...

TFTM Gold: The Keegan Odyssey - Part 29

23 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 10/7/19) Kev’s Newcastle exit looms into view, Sir John Hall lets the lads use his house while he’s in Spain and there’s a… VIP Stevie W...

IFS Unlocked: The Melchester Odyssey - Part 241

22 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 18/1/24) Maxwell v Murdoch, big mugs, doodling, Roy gets sprayed, and birthday talk.  Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.co...

The 1984/85 Argos Catalogue - Part 3

18 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The Live Aid radio cassette player, blank tape comparisons, CD discovery, frosted glass, the ZX Spectrum, and board games.  Join the Iron Filings...

TFTM Gold: The Keegan Odyssey - Part 28

16 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 2/7/19) KK’s disguise-aided pursuit of Shearer and enabling of Keith Gillespie’s addiction. Plus Les’s Leap, Ginola’s stinking fags, and...

IFS Unlocked: Life Logistics - Eddie Finds Saddam

15 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 9/1/24) Soaking pots, spending wildly, hiding, making time for fun things, and mafia stuff.  Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.pa...

The 1984/85 Argos Catalogue - Part 2

14 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Decanters, royal-affiliated items, drugs and cream cakes, tea sets, flan v quiche, and christening cups.  Join the Iron Filings Society: https://...

The 1984/85 Argos Catalogue - Part 1

11 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Dads and darts, sticker books, bra pictures, sophistication, tanning, and Britain’s most handsome acupuncturist.  Join the Iron Filings Society...

TFTM Gold: The Keegan Odyssey - Part 27

09 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 26/6/19) KK dwells on his Sky Sports outburst for far too long but forgets about Asprilla. He is also the bigger man v Fergie and has a slump in...

IFS Unlocked: Top Flight Tune Machine - 22/12/1985 Part 4

08 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 2/1/24) The 1980s coolest woman, frogs, comedy film pacing, Nile’s Dutch lager, Bernie phones in a Christmas lyric, and Doug E. Fresh.  J...

Orchid Fuel

07 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Holiday plans, trips to Silverstone and the cricket, a woke-spot, massage bargains, and Sam’s return to TV.  Join the Iron Filings Society: htt...

Leslie Lemon’s Custard

04 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Tragic news, pod-madness, fan fiction, a backpack development, a work rival, egg wooing, and an old man’s diet.  Join the Iron Filings Society:...

TFTM Gold: The Keegan Odyssey - Part 26

02 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 19/6/19) Ginola makes a pal, Kev sets up a courtroom, Cole moves to the middle of nowhere and then gives up before he is sold, enraging the Toon...

IFS Unlocked: The 2024 Ripley’s Odyssey - Part 4

01 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 28/12/23) Kilroy, extreme heat, U2, our lottery win plans, Peter Reid, rice babies, and a smug trash man.  Join the Iron Filings Society: h...

Gary Mabbutt’s Toe

30 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The magic of Nile Rodgers and other Glastonbury chat, Grace Jones, bad rat activity, F1, Gout Gout, and Travolta.  Join the Iron Filings Society:...

Four Thousand Sand Timers

27 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A unique opportunity, high value IFS, Tic Tacs, a soothing eye test, and Kid Creole’s school run.  Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.p...

TFTM Gold: The Keegan Odyssey - Part 25

25 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 12/6/19) KK and Terry Mac take to the skies more than once, give Andy Cole some laundry tips, and feed some iffy meat to a monster as a mysterio...

IFS Unlocked: The Melchester Odyssey - Part 237

24 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 21/12/23) Halting reader migration, chippy talk, Jimmy Slade has a nightmare, and Roy activates night-vision.  Join the Iron Filings Societ...

The Avenging Hippie

23 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Septuagenarian pop thrills, 1970s tower block school spying, a Beatles haul, a wetlands visit, and The Sweeney.  Join the Iron Filings Society: h...

Noel Edmonds’ Kiwi Adventure

21 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We analyse the first episode of Noel’s new ITV series. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

TFTM Gold: The Keegan Odyssey - Part 24

18 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 5/6/19) KK plans to capture the imagination of the whole country, we dip a toe into Brian Kilcline’s website, get life lessons from Cottee and...

IFS Unlocked: Top Flight Tune Machine - 22/12/1985 Part 1

17 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 12/12/23) Just the countdown of a Christmas chart that we love very much.  Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflight...

Indoor Husbands

16 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Father’s Day updates, a pampering lie, the worst remake, Sam’s enemy’s enemy, darts, intervals, and a book.  Join the Iron Filings Society:...

Structured Water

13 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Aircon tips, caravan scams, ghost strangling, celeb bouncers, Racey’s investment service, and vortexing.  Join the Iron Filings Society: https:...

TFTM Gold: The Keegan Odyssey - Part 23

11 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 29/5/19) Kev prevents the deaths of thousands of kids, Terry Mac enjoys exotica, Sir John Hall tells the truth and Brian Kilcline’s ponytail i...

IFS Unlocked: The 2024 Ripley’s Odyssey - Part 1

10 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 6/12/23) Robert Wadlow ascends to Heaven, celestial white-collar boxing, a massive dog, biblical graffiti, and a height cuckolding.  Join t...

Breakfast

09 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The most important meal of the day, speed-breakfasting, added sugar, and a stolen Steve Ovett statue.  Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www...

Noel’s Nightbus Owl

06 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Edmonds, Starmer, M&S, Lockerbie, Edmonds again.  Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine and on Apple Po...

TFTM Gold: The Keegan Odyssey - Part 22

04 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 21/5/2019) Dirty toilets, arcade strategy, Geordie wincing, the Liverpool boot room washing instruction fact file, and Terry Mac does another pr...

IFS Unlocked: History Box - Martins Of The 1980s Part 1

03 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 28/11/23) Martin origins, the Kemps, learning the bass, a school concert, Steven Berkoff, and Shaw. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for m...

Thwarted Manipulation Attempts

02 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A Turbo plug, a Pizza Express emergency, consumer rumours, and post-war teachers.  Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflig...

Say No To Storytelling

30 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Disney’s muscle, the majesty of Springwatch, incidental household dishes, and paying goodwill forward. Join the Iron Filings Society: https://w...

TFTM Gold: The Keegan Odyssey - Part 21

28 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 15/5/19) A football theme park, a return to Tyneside, trade fairs, and a burger van walk-out for Kev’s trusty number two…  Join the Iro...

IFS Unlocked: Life Logistics - Possible Spy

27 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 21/11/23) Radio 4, Christmas hosting, mothers-in-law, quitting football, drilling, and neighbour issues. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy ...

Wembley Weekend

26 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A play-off trip to the capital, a theatre matinee, and a secret service exhibition.  Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topfl...

Room Temperature Fizzy Orange

23 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

London plans, street beer, chip shop woe, cup final drink options, pig bins, and a cat-sitting job.  Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.p...

TFTM Gold: The Keegan Odyssey - Part 20

21 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 8/5/2019) Kev gets a mouth-ramming while trying to have a roadside nap, much to John Pigface’s delight.   Join the Iron Filings Soci...

IFS Unlocked: The Melchester Odyssey - Part 232

20 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 16/11/23) Peter Shilton’s car fun, football v telly, a sack of balls, Roy meets John Blackson, and Dear John. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/p...

Preferred Street Bins

19 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Poo bag protection, penny-swallowing, water disposals, glamour claims, TOTP cosmos, and confidence.  Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.p...

Bin Alley Mystery

16 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Neneh Cherry’s snooker influences, Trump question brain-freeze, a dog product conundrum, and Lampard sadness.  Join the Iron Filings Society: h...

TFTM Gold: The Keegan Odyssey - Part 19

14 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 1/5/19) Kev realises his playing days are over, Terry McDermott pretends to be an Arab sheikh, and KK flies off into the sun…   Join...

IFS Unlocked: Life Logistics - Fisting The Loaf

13 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 7/11/23) Etymology of new words, Ridley v Ken, Christmas decorations, surfing the channels, that other podcast again, and teaching teens to love...

Something To Do

12 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Carbooting, a caravan weekend, dad fighting, more adoption talk, Milli Vanilli, The Wild Geese, and personal headlamps.  Join the Iron Filings S...

The Damage To Andy

09 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

70’s gig mayhem, self-gentling, Sam’s search for sweet stuff, and a tremendous song.  Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/...

TFTM Gold: The Keegan Odyssey - Part 18

07 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 24/4/19) Tyneside, and Kev is greeted like a saviour but dropped by Bobby Robson. Plus Nazi kittens.  Join the Iron Filings Society: https:...

The Cornish Finger

05 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

More adopters and adoptees, definition Lamparding, radio presenter behaviour, and live show reminders.  Join the Iron Filings Society: https://ww...

Fussy Old Fusspot

02 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Too drugged to pod, holiday logistics, a hairstyle wedding fight, a school disco transformation, and cordiality.  Join the Iron Filings Society: ...

TFTM Gold: The Keegan Odyssey - Part 17

30 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 17/4/19) KK escapes to Germany to get his back fixed, Ron Greenwood orders eel pie from England and Trevor Brooking lands a Cockney assassin mis...

IFS Unlocked: History Box - Khrushchev Visits America Part 4

29 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 31/10/23) Nikita fattens up with hot dogs, does a trolley dash, there’s Big Trak, peace corn, hat talk, and a flying wig in Hartlepool.  ...

Bird Talk

28 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A missing budgie, parrot fever, a court appearance, a double winding, rude words, stash theft, and Chichester.  Join the Iron Filings Society: ht...

The Trailer Game

25 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Scouse emotion, the motorway services, a new 1980s TV series, modern slavery, Arthur Daley’s tailor, and Lenniverse news. Join the Iron Filings...

TFTM Gold: The Keegan Odyssey - Part 16

23 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 10/4/19) A vortex, a knee for a tooth, a cat and dog podcast, Tony Blair comes round for chilli con carne and the IRA target KK before he throws...

IFS Unlocked: The Melchester Odyssey - Part 229

22 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 26/10/23) A Scottish dad, Pyramid diving, a breakfast meltdown, a size assessment, school team football, and the commissionaire.  Join the ...

Egg Deadline

21 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

An impending sugar ban, ending a party, hobnobbing on Radio 4, a review plea, a telly tip, and a massage conundrum.  Join the Iron Filings Societ...

International Gentlemen

18 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

New subscriber options, an Easter gift, airborne erotica, the Sunderland drawer, and rain in Spain.  Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.p...

TFTM Gold: The Keegan Odyssey - Part 15

16 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 3/4/19) George Clooney, recyclable straws, Don Revie and Sir John Curtice in a Hollywood pub with George Lucas, a new national anthem, and Kev’...

IFS Unlocked: History Box - Khrushchev Visits America Part 2

15 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 17/10/23) Soviet in-flight entertainment, a moon gift, luncheon meat, mechanically-recovered food, Brenda’s Sunak nickname, and Farage’s Tik...

Viva Sunderland!

14 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Rotten football, jumping, some anaesthetists in a lift, Torvill and Dean’s farewell, and dual massages.  Join the Iron Filings Society: https:/...

Shifting Paradigms

11 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Live show talk, being judged by nuns, accents, The Flintstones, a new theme park, and football chat. Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.p...

TFTM Gold: The Keegan Odyssey - Part 14

09 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 26/3/19) KK finally pulls on the England shirt but soon gets a kicking in Eastern Europe over a fanny powder-smuggling mix-up…  Join the ...

IFS Unlocked: History Box - Khrushchev Visits America Part 1

08 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

(Rec: 10/10/23) Names, Elton John’s car, little Rishi Sunak, Ken Burns documentaries, Beckham’s pen, Camp David, and going to space.   J...

New Dentist Initiation

07 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The UK podding pipe, live show reflections, mouth cameras, and cinema talk.  Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttime...

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