Top Flight Time Machine
Episodes
Hungarian Wall Outrage
23 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
GCSE results day, Tim Walz, dads’ names, online Pigfacing, and the end of football? Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/top...
TFTM Gold: The Keane Odyssey 2 - Part 1
21 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
(Rec: 7/2/19) Roy’s origin story begins with Basil Fawlty, a record-breaking breakfast, some mucky books and a love affair with a daytime soap. ...
Feet Are Feet
19 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Predictions rules update, dis/dat car rental, energy use/misuse, a DHgate mate, and a showbiz dog walking encounter. Join the Iron Filings Socie...
TFTM Gold: The Keane Odyssey - Part 7
16 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Ticklish Roy, Tottenham tendencies, lying fishermen liars, Bobby Charlton helps Roy, and our hero explores the world of charity. Join the Iron F...
Erotic Reverie
16 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
TFTM after dark, dentistry woes, Katie Price, a Philippe update, and French portrait crisps. Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon...
Zipped Pockets
12 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Family secrets, unpickpocketability, Elephant Man physiology, Anthony Hopkins, and a football back story. Join the Iron Filings Society: https:/...
TFTM Gold: The Keane Odyssey - Part 6
07 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
(Rec: 14/11/18) Windsniffers, Roy’s run-in with Pablo Counago and the creation of Puppet Jim Magilton. Nemeses everywhere you look… Join the...
Riot Talk
05 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Shadowy forces behind the recent disorder, Sam’s pro-war anti-war TV work, and his filter. Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon....
Wednesday Luncheon
02 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Vita overheating, trips to France and London, doing stuff alone, a Phillipe update, and dealing with Disney dissent. Join the Iron Filings Socie...
TFTM Gold: The Keane Odyssey - Part 5
31 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Roy takes charge at Ipswich, who play in the wrong colour. He embraces decorating before coming up against his eternal foe once again… Join th...
Brat Summer
29 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Holiday feedback, ceiking beds, a riverbank stench, angry Phillipe, and the Jacksons in the Uber again. Join the Iron Filings Society: https://w...
Bread
26 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Old school sugar abuse, robbery planning, bread poncery, a trip to Heaven, and spring onion harvesting. Join the Iron Filings Society: htt...
TFTM Gold: The Keane Odyssey - Part 4
24 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Dancing machines at Wetherby services, Harry Redknapp’s wedding anniversary, assorted office invasions, and a fall-out with an opinionated Texan. (R...
Death - Part 2
22 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Assassinability, near-death, lifestyle-related death thoughts, a funeral plan treasure map, and inspiring the peace process. Join the Iron...
Death - Part 1
19 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
We ponder our demises and the death-adjacent states of some of our late relatives, and some other spiritual stuff. Join the Iron Filings Society...
TFTM Gold: The Keane Odyssey - Part 3
17 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Roy's managerial career begins at Sunderland - he gets a swivel chair and moves into nearby student digs. His nemesis also reappears and he grapples w...
Playing Out - Part 2
15 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
A telly format, a burnt-out car, a one-boy anti-smoking campaign, lemonade, and friend avoidance. Join the Iron Filings Society: https://w...
Playing Out - Part 1
12 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Feebleplay, the demise of playing out, an American chippy, film star Larry, and BMX talk. Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com...
TFTM Gold: The Keane Odyssey - Part 2
11 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Roy clashes with Vieira then Fergie, signs for Celtic out of spite and encounters John Hartson's pop and crisps diet. (Rec: 17/10/18) Join the I...
Event Catering
08 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Man driving, deluxe bunking in, a difficult follow-up, political triggering, and the football. Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreo...
Our Long National Nightmare Is Over
05 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
A sober-minded and thoughtful response to the 2024 General Election outcome. Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttim...
TFTM Gold: The Keane Odyssey - Part 1
03 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Our deep dive into Roy Keane's 'The Second Half' book begins here. Body iron loss, disdain for the Class of 92 and some terrible revelations about Sir...
Solar Gorilla Motorbike Statue
01 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The new way of doing things, reactions, that England match, and a sex shout-out. Extended version available on our Iron Filings Society service: http...
Cranking Down
28 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Some podding changes, a proposed trip, memory jumbles, Italians and ketchup, and the Falklands War. Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.p...
The Melchester Odyssey - Part 225
27 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Dundee United, man talk in a van, all-inclusive logistics, Jimmy turns up, Duncan relaxes with mice, and there’s some oil. (Rec: 27/9/23) &nbs...
The Roussos Odyssey - Part 3
26 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Names, pickling, tabs, Eurohits, and Demis meets Basil Brush before dying and getting a museum. (Rec: 27/9/23) Join the Iron Filings Society: ht...
Top Flight Tune Machine - 25/06/2000 Part 1
25 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Just the chart rundown. (Rec: 26/9/23) Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine Hosted on Acast. See acast.co...
Suffer To Thrive
24 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Weeding, nappy time, 2004 Rooney, that missing lad, and the unbreakable confidence of certain men. Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.pa...
Bramberry’s Been Out
20 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Visual audio, reaction to England v Denmark, talking animals, and a mini election section. Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.co...
The Melchester Odyssey - Part 224
20 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Boys and their dogs, God narrates, Bobby Robson and redheads, Musk and Tate, and Roy’s inquiry. (Rec: 21/9/23) Join the Iron Filings Society: ...
The Roussos Odyssey - Part 2
19 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
European family, different words for stuff, redneck origins, striking doctors, the Queen and Penelope Keith, boxing, and tea addiction. (Rec: 20/9/23)...
Life Logistics - Dad v Stepdad
18 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Star Wars groins, bowling shame, wrong-naming debit card disposal, and wasteland yearning. (Rec: 19/9/23) Join the Iron Filings Society: https:/...
Beating Up Your Dad
17 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Football positions, Keown’s intelligence levels, the majesty of Rooney, and a golfer with a gun. Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.pa...
Tummy Massage
14 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Snide football kit acquisition, cards and energy and smells, plus a Liam Gallagher gig experience. Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.pa...
The Melchester Odyssey - Part 223
13 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Bobby Robson calls Roy, Italian fingers, Don Howe on Blankety Blank, Roy is unscoutable, and Jimmy gets an agent. (Rec: 14/9/23) Join the Iron F...
The Roussos Odyssey - Part 1
12 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Dover, flags, a ferret, the 1968 Parisian protests, The Stone Roses, Daubs, mass online derision, and turning down GB News. (Rec: 13/9/23) Join...
Life Logistics - Odious Man
11 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Introducing yourself to neighbours, a Raggedy Ann update, assaulting a big bloke, alcohol at family functions, and new teapots. (Rec: 12/9/23) J...
Time To Die?
10 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Pop concerts, terrace myths, weddings, crying, and science ignorance. Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachin...
Leg Meat Transplants
07 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Face-morphing, video premieres, god-tier pet-walking, a mauled listener, and a news round-up. Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon...
The Melchester Odyssey - Part 222
06 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Sacks of birthday cards, Roy fights himself with tridents, Penny dresses up, a motorcade, a whip-round, a big reveal, and an amazing phone call… (Re...
The Animal Kwackers Odyssey - Part 3
05 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Kwackers’ spaceship, fat kid characters, Sam’s wrist, Bad Boy runs amok, and back to/from Popland. (Rec: 6/9/23) Join the Iron Filings So...
Life Logistics - Mould Men
04 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
A mysterious miracle liquid, tackling homophobia, flight tips, and a new office job. (Rec: 5/9/23) Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.pa...
The Election Section - Part 1
03 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Starmer’s nuclear hardman stance, and the plight of private schools. Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemac...
Sneeze Death Fear
03 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Online DIY tutorials, a covid update, telly tips, another Murdoch marriage, a problematic tier, lovely art, and Keane on trial. Join the Iron F...
Vinegar Salad
31 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Covid’s back, sadness with Ernie Wise, showing off some swords, a workplace creche, and Trump. Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patr...
The Melchester Odyssey - Part 221
30 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Roy’s 30th is celebrated in style, birthday cake knife chat, party singing, and greetings from the stars. (Rec: 31/8/23) Join the Iron Filings...
The Animal Kwackers Odyssey - Part 2
29 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Rock n roll belief, fireman’s poles, M from Bond speaks, and the Kwackers are physically assessed. (Rec: 30/8/23) Join the Iron Filings Societ...
History Box - Euro 80 Part 2
28 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Hooligan-watching, Keegan’s lollies, risking life for after-school TV football, Ray Wilkins, and an England manager meltdown. (Rec: 28/8/23) ...
American Sitting
24 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
A frustrating physio visit, stupid detention, drive-by shouting, a Soho encounter, and the launch of ‘The Election Section’. Join the Iron F...
The Melchester Odyssey - Part 220
23 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Team performance chart, Clive Allen, crying at football, a chin rest, Roy/Geoff tension, and Jimmy Slade goes on the telly. (Rec: 22/8/23) Join ...
The Animal Kwackers Odyssey - Part 1
22 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Hydration, fantasy, Gerry Cowan, recruiting psychopaths, and Euro pop music. (Rec: 23/8/23) Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.c...
Noelplay Special
21 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
A bonus episode, looking at the recent activities of leading TFTM Person of Interest, Noel Edmonds. Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.p...
History Box - Euro 80 Part 1
21 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
School art project turmoil and some afters a decade later, an Uber nightmare, management styles, and a quiz. (Rec: 24/8/23) Join the Iron Filing...
Flower Husbandry
20 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Gardening plans, drunk ET, an urchin issue, and a rude cyclist. Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine Host...
The Parrot
17 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
An official toddler, a royal snub, and a passport renewal adventure. Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine...
The Melchester Odyssey - Part 219
16 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jimmy Slade’s output, quarterbacks, football changes, our radio nemesis, killing selectors, and sanctions. (Rec: 17/8/23) Join the Iron Filing...
The Noakes Odyssey - Part 4
15 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Tiny Mona Lisa, unsolicited messages, AI dorises, some football talk, and Noakes reaches Nelson’s hat. (Rec: 16/8/23) Join the Iron Filings So...
Top Flight Tune Machine 11/03/1984 Part 4
14 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Smelling, dogs, Hitler songs, and subways and their steps. (Rec: 15/8/23) Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimema...
My Kidney Journey
13 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
A post-sleep sleep, we take the temperature of our schools, sample etiquette, and a dramatic aqua rescue. Join the Iron Filings Society: https:/...
Telly Cubs Memories
10 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Cordial preferences, eating a rat, the joy of tap water, a dirty baptism, Cosquello, and some riddles. Join the Iron Filings Society: https://ww...
The Melchester Odyssey - Part 218
09 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Letraset, handing in journalism, black and white again, the rancor keeper, and teenage banking. (Rec: 10/8/23) Join the Iron Filings Society: ht...
The Noakes Odyssey - Part 3
08 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Grooming Roly, an afro-david, holiday guards, letting babies cry, Reg, ropes, and heights. (Rec: 9/8/23) Join the Iron Filings Society: https://...
Top Flight Tune Machine 11/03/1984 Part 3
07 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Queen and Bowie, popularity, Tommy, Van Halen, and liking music at school. (Rec: 8/8/23) Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/...
Whither Emu?
06 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Listlessness, POI Boehly, woman-pleasing, extra blankets, and we launch an investigation into a murder. Join the Iron Filings Society: https://w...
The Senna Bungalow
03 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jar Jar Binks, a wandering pal, Thrones true/false, and a low performance dwelling is reassessed. Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.pat...
The Melchester Odyssey - Part 217
02 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Bob Paisley, the concept of speed, a dressing room visit, Harold Lloyd, and Jimmy Slade goes into a frenzy. (Rec: 3/8/23) Join the Iron Fil...
The Noakes Odyssey - Part 2
01 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
John’s marvellous column-scaling outfit, Biddy’s pet, dog expenses, ‘Idiot Noakes’ anniversary strops, and Shep dies. (Rec: 2/8/23) Join...
Top Flight Tune Machine - 11/03/1984 Part 2
30 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Torvill and Dean, a bike accident, an Uber incident, Rockwell, and a Madonna pic hunt. (Rec: 1/8/23) Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www....
Gurning Noelplay
29 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Live jazz, watch talk, crime chat, more watch talk, and Auf Wiedersehen Pet. Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttim...
Snooker Nut Smuggling
26 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Darts chaos, choosing the soft life, Sir John Classical, a lorry-driving footballer, and leaf-blowing/sucking. Join the Iron Filings Society: ht...
The Melchester Odyssey - Part 216
25 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Addresses, team and house points, Roy dresses really badly, 100%ing at work, and the Boycott era begins. (Rec: 27/7/23) Join the Iron Filings So...
The Noakes Odyssey - Part 1
24 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The back story of Blue Peter legend John Noakes, including tea, cult activity, two Jones’, and a sexy birthday party. (Rec: 26/7/23) Join the ...
Top Flight Tune Machine - 11/03/1984 Part 1
23 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Just the chart rundown. But what a chart. (Rec: 25/7/23) Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine Hosted on A...
Terry Sorts The Door
22 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jadedness, a roundabout visit, live classical music, being high in a cat café, and a dinner party fail. Join the Iron Filings Society: https://...
Backflip Boy Surgery
19 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
A dad powerplay, hero fantasies, an amazing cake, music documentary tips, and digging news. Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.c...
The Melchester Odyssey - Part 215
18 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Saying names of old players, Australia, Uber friends, Moyes’ close shave, and an amazing new chairman. (Rec: 20/7/23) Join the Iron Filings So...
The Pig Odyssey - Part 10
17 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Boris in Chichester, Turkish Delight and champagne, a street pig, and a pivot to lions. (Rec: 19/7/23) Join the Iron Filings Society: https://ww...
Life Logistics - Shepherd Hut Smoking
16 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Office chairs, shared lawn woes, work avoidance, and a career crossroads. (Rec: 18/7/23) Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/...
Andrew Cute
15 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Excess peanuts, Vienetta, Harrods, Paul Weller, and vintage magazine treasure. Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflightt...
Greasy Spoon Family Trip
12 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Sananda Maitreya gets Jacko angry, Grace Jones and Halifax, glazier talk, breaking news, video shops, and dustmotes. Join the Iron Filings Socie...
The Melchester Odyssey - Part 214
11 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Brazil gets punched, more Hunt rehabilitation, an emotional reunion, and an evil face. (Apologies for the intermittent sound issues) (Rec: 13/7/23) &n...
The Pig Odyssey - Part 9
10 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Tirpitz the war pig, TV show endings, the Dad’s Army cast slated, and jury duty avoidance. (Rec: 12/7/23) Join the Iron Filings Society: https...
Life Logistics - Hair And That
09 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
To shave or not shave the face and bonce, ageing satisfaction, and politics. (Rec: 11/7/23) Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.c...
Donkey Stuff
08 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Differing sleep plans, an emergency evacuation, tea tray acquisition, paragliding, and a café grass. Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www...
The Soft Life
05 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Retirement cosplay, crosswords, Steve Martin, sausage sexism, a chippie breakfast, lyric comparison, and a litre of cream. Join the Iron Filings...
The Melchester Odyssey - Part 213
04 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Some dream chat, Roy’s mind safari, another VHS tape, the big screen is deployed, and a terrible word. (Rec: 6/7/23) Join the Iron Filings Soc...
The Pig Odyssey - Part 8
03 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Party pig, wrist injury, a flat pig gives up, pig conflict resolution, Johan Cruyff, and the Muppets. (Rec: 5/7/23) Join the Iron Filings Societ...
Life Logistics - Church Stuff
02 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Denied queries, football start-ups, church stuff, and selling a car. (Rec: 4/7/23) Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topfli...
Giant Haystacks
01 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Fitness denial, a bit of Big Daddy, eating wax, hanging out with McCartney, democracy, and a Christmas single. Join the Iron Filings Society: ht...
School Assembly
29 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Beeping Timmy gets beeped at, mum-cussing is tackled, home-schooling with a twist, and pianist transfers. Join the Iron Filings Society: https:/...
The Melchester Odyssey - Part 212
28 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
AI muscles, make-up artist shenanigans, a mouse robbery, and females in the paper. (Rec: 29/6/23) Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.pat...
The Pig Odyssey - Part 7
27 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
More on the Tamworth Two, Victor the Giraffe, Crouchy on a plane, foreign tomatoes, Flaviu the Lynx, and possibly the best book. (Rec: 28/6/23) ...
Life Logistics - Loaf Alternatives
26 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Bread talk, wrap chat, in-law holidays, tip tips, fan noise, and fan noise. (Rec: 27/6/23) Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.co...
Pressure Points
25 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Advert avoidance, heavy books, low performance, ants, a spiteful list, Maradona, and a cat attack. Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.pa...
Buttery Crumpet
22 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
A special offer, a child hooligan, exciting pig news, a fruity flag, and a bit of banning. Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.co...
The Melchester Odyssey - Part 211
21 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
An activation lever, John Wark, drawing horses, 1980s Australians, a new signing tries a banana shot, and a Pigface stitch-up. (Rec: 22/6/23) J...
The Pig Odyssey - Part 6
20 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Durrell, Herriott, the voiceover world, Enn Reitel, throat steroids, and cancellation worries. (Rec: 21/6/23) Join the Iron Filings Society: ht...
History Box - Magic Alex Part 4
19 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Lying to The Beatles, buying a Greek island, Japanese whisky, wiring large sums of money, lethal armoured cars, and an artificial sun. (Rec: 20/6/23) ...
The Top Flight Time Machine Odyssey - Part 1
19 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On our sixth birthday, we look back at a list of ideas we’ve had in the past that have been put on a spreadsheet by a bloke called Calum. Join...
Shooting A QC
18 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Bum crack talk, a mindfulness class, shelves, memories of houses from the past, gatecrashers, and scolding strangers. Join the Iron Filings Soci...