SATURDAY RUB | Mermaid Bern, Robbo Dirties Up & Some Steak Puns

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Triple M Rocks Footy AFL 58 min 3 speakers 5 chapters transcribed 1 month ago
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Mike Lane 0:00
Shut up. The foot is on Triple M. Get ready. Am I on? Because the Saturday rub. Am I allowed to talk? Yes. Starts now. It gets better with every listing.
Unknown 0:11
We need some riz.
Mike Lane 0:12
Need drinks fast? Camel on down to Thirsty Camel Bottle Shops for unseriously good deals. Drink responsibly. For Ream Hot Water and McDonald's, Triple M. Rock sweet. All right, we're Australia-wide. That's what we're doing today. I'm in Perth, of course, after last night. I can see Bernard in Adelaide. He's ready to rumble. And in Melbourne at Marvel Stadium, I can see Damo, and I can see a prepared fan.
Bill (Billy Brownless) 0:41
Yes!
Mike Lane 0:41
Normally you roll in about a minute before we start. Exactly. What's happening? Well, I went to Macca's and got me a little egg and bacon roll and a coffee, and I've been preparing because I've got one man in my sights and one man only. And it's not you, Forrest.
Bill (Billy Brownless) 0:55
Oh, good.
Mike Lane 0:56
And it's not you, Jim. It's that stupid Moustak at one over there. What's happening with him? Leave me alone. No, you're going to cop it today. All right, OK. Steve Cox, by the way. Caleb's are wrong. Nuff quiz news. So he gets you full helping. What's he been up to, Fat? Well, before you get there, Damo, you've got time. I just want to open our show today, Jim, on behalf of you and Bern, to apologise to Fat for what was effectively bullying for the full 15 minutes of the first segment last week. And it was a sustained bullying and it came on the back of two previous weeks of sustained bullying. So I do, I have reflected, Jim, and on behalf of you and on behalf of Bern, I'm apologising to you today, Bill.
Mike Lane 1:33
Oh, thank you, Damian.
Bill (Billy Brownless) 1:35
You've had a look in the mirror. I've had a look in the mirror.
Mike Lane 1:37
Don't apologise on my behalf. There's no apology coming from here. No, no. No, not with what's about to come my way. A bit of apology. Mute him.
Justin Longmuir 1:47
Mute him. I'll apologise. Thank you, David. And I mean that genuinely. We're about to get our pills cut off.
Mike Lane 1:53
He wants us muted. Mute him. I was bordering on bullying, I thought, last week. If you make an arse of yourself, you've got to cop it. It was wave after wave after tsunami. Somali. Somalia. Misuse of powerful words. That's what you've got to be careful of. Careful of. Now, we're into Bernie. Somalia. Now, you've got some stuff on Bernie. Right. I think your stuff will be better. We'll both go.
Unknown 2:22
You go first.
Mike Lane 2:24
So I thought he's always hanging shit on me and everyone else in this Nuff Nuff segment.
Unknown 2:29
Sort of smugly too, isn't he?
Mike Lane 2:30
And he doesn't put it together. I haven't listened to Purple. Good work, Purple. Will puts it all together, right? And it is good. It's very, very good. It takes up half an hour. Who's Will? Will's up the back there. Will! And you do nothing because everyone sends it to you, Bernie. So you actually do nothing. You sit there with a stupid look. You wouldn't believe this. So I asked a producer over in Adelaide on your magnificent breakfast show, whatever it's called. Bell, Bernie and Emma. Yeah, that's it. So I asked the producer, right, and I just thought you might send one or two little reels that Bernie stuffed up. Guess what, Bern? How many? He has sent me, Andy, Andy. Andy. Andy has sent me 53. Oh, I see that.
Mike Lane 3:18
53. Oh. And guess what? From the past year or two? No, no. Labelled Bernie's cock-ups July only.
July only.
Mike Lane 3:29
There's 53 of them. It's the biggest muddy page I've seen. So I think it was over an hour and a half of cock-ups. But we've drilled it down to one minute only. One minute only. And here's a montage of Bernie's cock-ups. How good is this going to be? Are we any exciting? Ah, f*** that. They even offer no obligation. Didn't say that right.
Unknown 4:01
Not only do you hear... Burn, you getting along to a lot of games?
Mike Lane 4:04
Yes, I am. I'll be there. Round two. No, don't play until round two, but big game this weekend. Yeah, this is a two-hour hands-on workshop, which... Oh, f***. Yeah, this is a two-hour hands-on workshop. F***. No more of... No more... F***. Yeah, the membership is awesome. It gives you super flexible options. Benefits subject to employer, general info only, seek legal and financial advice. Go again, Ben.
Unknown 4:38
It's meant to be a full stop after only, just picture that.

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