SATURDAY RUB | Tex, Roo and Dim Sim Bill

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Triple M Rocks Footy AFL 1h 10m 6 speakers 8 chapters transcribed 2 months ago
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What sparks the hosts' roast about Bill's TV ads and the 'dog poo' commercial?

Bill Brownless 0:00
Shut up. The foot is on Triple M. Get ready. Am I on? Because the Saturday rub. Am I allowed to talk? Yeah. Starts now. It gets better with every listening.
Unknown 0:11
We need some Riz.
Bill Brownless 0:12
Need drinks fast? Camel on down to Thirsty Camel Bottle Shops for unseriously good deals. Drink responsibly. For Ream Hot Water and McDonald's, Triple M. Rock sweet. Oh, here we go. In Adelaide, Bernard and myself. Yep. Ahead of Port Adelaide and Fremantle. And back in Melbourne, I can see on the screens of seven. Purple and fat. Seven. Oh, dog poo head. Yes, here he is, Jim.
Unknown 0:39
Dog poo.
Bill Brownless 0:39
How are you?
Damo (Damien?) 0:40
It says on the screen, dog poo head. It does. I can confirm.
Bill Brownless 0:43
Well done, Damo, for making it into the studio. Oh, what happened? As in me. Although you'd be Damo, yeah. But why is it well done? I'm here every single week. I know, but no one else can. Jim's over there in Adelaide.
Jim (Jim 'Fat'?) 0:55
Why is Jim in Adelaide?
Bill Brownless 0:55
I'm about to call a game of football. That's why I'm here. Well, you were in Sydney last night. Sydney last night. I'm everywhere for the network. You'd be up for no good. You'd be doing something unrelated to Triple M, you being in Adelaide, I reckon. No, I'm here for the game now. Oh, yeah. He moves on quick. I'll tell you what I do. I'm literally here, and then I'm sitting for three hours at the airport to fly home. Now... Fat's disgraced himself again. How? We're going to get to that. How could he? Again. We're going to get to that. That was Thursday night in Geelong. Just when you think things can't get any worse. It's gone pretty bad for him. He goes down a path that we're going to hear and then discuss. But I'm just going to give you a Google search reading of something, Damo.
Bill Brownless 1:36
Oh, this will be good. This will look after him properly. Because I thought to myself, where's he at, Fat, in his life? You know, the choices he makes. Oh, yeah. So I get onto Google and I Google the following. What did you Google? Really shit ads involving Bill Brownless. This is good.
Jim (Jim 'Fat'?) 1:53
You punched that in.
Bill Brownless 1:55
Google search comes back with this. And I'm quoting. Unfortunately for Billy, he's elected to appear in some ads that really haven't been good at all. That's being nice.
Damo (Damien?) 2:09
That's the Google search. Righto, let's go.
Bill Brownless 2:13
So, Pat, with that in mind, I'm watching a bit of the footy, I'm watching a bit of the golf Thursday night, and then suddenly my phone blows. Didn't it light up, our phone? Quarter time, the game, GMHBA. I think, Leroy, we had some audio of what was going on. It wasn't on TV. Geelong vesting killed a quarter time. Big game. Let's have a listen. Here we go. We're getting going now. Here's Billy doing cashies. Well done. Dimmy, Dimmy, Dimmy.
Well done. Here we go.
Bill Brownless 2:46
That's good. Very good. I like that. You look like you need a Dimmy. They're all starting to dance now. Get him up, Pat. I don't know what's worse, this or the dog poo ad. This is Billy on the big screen at TMHBA Stadium singing dimmy, dimmy, dimmy. How much, Jack? This is some of the worst shit I've ever seen. And I thought the dog shit ad was bad. How many dimmies did he get paid to do shit? We all love a dimmy. Who wants a dimmy? Have a look through the camera there, Fat. Are you going to wear your Dim Sim T-shirt? No, that's bad. And he's got fake little dimmies.
Damo (Damien?) 3:34
He's got another T-shirt on here.
Bill Brownless 3:36
Fat, what are you doing? Well, Jim, everyone loves a Dim Sim, right? It's an activation for the club. And Marathon are very good sponsors of the Geelong Footy Club. And I just went out. At quarter time to help out. That's all it is. And your fee for doing it, they started at six dimmies.
Jim (Jim 'Fat'?) 3:55
Yes.
Bill Brownless 3:55
And you talked them up to ten with soy sauce. No, I didn't even get the soy sauce. And I didn't get salt. But ten dimmies, that's all right, Jim. It's all a bit of fun. I wouldn't read too much into it, my friend. And I tell you what, it's on brand advertising. Yeah, that's the only accurate thing you've said. With lycra? Dim sim or dog shit?
Tex (Tex Walker) 4:16
It's the same crap as you've been serving up for years.
Bill Brownless 4:19
He just said lycra. Lycra is on-brand advertising. Do you reckon his big, fat, bald head actually looks like a steamed dim sim? So last night, Damo, I'm exiting the SCG.

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