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Stitches: Comedy Fiction Podcasts

Feed Drop: We Fix Space Junk

10 Jun 2026

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What is 'We Fix Space Junk' about?

1.752 - 14.208 Jeremy Ellett

Hey folks! Today on the feed, we're thrilled to get the chance to share with you all one of our favorite audio dramas of all time. It's called We Fix Space Junk, and it's from our friends at Battlebird Productions.

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15.029 - 36.688 Jeremy Ellett

We Fix Space Junk follows seasoned smuggler Kilner and reluctant socialite fugitive Samantha as they travel the galaxy, dodging bullets and meeting strange and wonderful beings as they carry out odd jobs on the fringes of the law. When Kilner accepted the job of smuggling escapee Samantha Trapp across the galaxy, she expected the job to be over and done with quickly.

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37.069 - 56.447 Jeremy Ellett

But now, they're stuck with each other. And they have a job to do. We Fix Space Junk is a story about debt, space repairs, and friendship featuring two strong female protagonists. Their main aim in life is to survive long enough to reach the next job. It's Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy with some Pratchett in there for good measure.

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56.917 - 71.651 Jeremy Ellett

We Fix Space Junk started in 2018 and has been broadcasting for eight years now, and episode one of their long-awaited season four just released on March 23rd. You can listen to We Fix Space Junk anywhere you get your podcasts.

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78.157 - 84.122 Beth Crane

We Fix Space Junk by Beth Crane. Episode one, Escape from Hargen IV.

132.061 - 132.542 Chris Monterpelle

Samantha!

Chapter 2: Who are the main characters in 'We Fix Space Junk'?

133.543 - 136.587 Rebecca Evans

Go away. I'm not signing any more autographs.

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136.607 - 139.231 Chris Monterpelle

Sweetheart, it's me. We've only got 10 minutes.

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139.832 - 140.252 Rebecca Evans

Fabio?

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140.693 - 144.939 Chris Monterpelle

I came back for you. I told you I would. Come on, this way.

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145.74 - 147.342 Rebecca Evans

Is that man okay?

147.983 - 150.066 Chris Monterpelle

He's fine. Just step over him.

150.226 - 157.476 Rebecca Evans

He's bleeding. Rather a lot, really quite a lot. That is quite a lot of blood, Fabio.

157.636 - 161.882 Chris Monterpelle

He was like that when I got here. Do you want me to rescue you or not? Come on.

168.072 - 192.831 Unknown

AUT News. News on the hour, every hour. You join me outside the courthouse where the accused, Miss Samantha Trapp, is due to stand trial. For Miss Trapp, the last six months have been a rollercoaster. Formerly a member of the social elite with a social media following of millions and a nightlife I think we've all envied at one point or another. Wait, hang on, I'm getting an update.

Chapter 3: What themes are explored in 'We Fix Space Junk'?

207.123 - 212.575 Unknown

She is being reported as armed and extremely dangerous and should not be approached under any circumstances.

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217.955 - 220.138 Beth Crane

Looks awfully suspicious to me.

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221.079 - 227.347 Chris Monterpelle

Of course it looks suspicious. If it was innocuous, I could move it myself. You're a smuggler. You smuggle things.

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227.568 - 238.762 Beth Crane

Well, the whole point is the packages look ordinary. This crate just screams fleeing errors. It's too big and too new and too stylish. Nobody transports cargo in polished tigerwood crates.

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239.002 - 241.826 Chris Monterpelle

Please, we have no other choice. We're desperate people.

242.106 - 245.591 Beth Crane

Desperate people are my favourite kind of client. You've done all the paperwork?

245.971 - 246.392 Chris Monterpelle

Yes.

Chapter 4: How has 'We Fix Space Junk' evolved since its inception?

246.929 - 250.854 Beth Crane

So that's a third of the payment now, and the other two thirds when we meet you at the Crab Nebula.

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251.094 - 253.037 Chris Monterpelle

And I'll have had time to prove her innocence by then.

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253.317 - 256.261 Beth Crane

Sure you will. And the payment's already been set up, yeah?

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256.641 - 259.605 Chris Monterpelle

You'll get your money, so long as she's safe and sound at the end.

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259.926 - 261.528 Beth Crane

And you know what happens if you don't pay up.

261.948 - 266.614 Chris Monterpelle

I've read the contract. Can we hurry this up? I don't want to get caught by customs at the last minute.

266.654 - 271.3 Beth Crane

I'm just checking. I've signed a few contracts in my time. It's good to know what you're letting yourself in for.

Chapter 5: What is the significance of the new season release?

273.642 - 277.61 Beth Crane

Jeez, she's heavy for a socialite. She's in the other crate. And this is?

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278.452 - 280.717 Chris Monterpelle

Luggage, obviously. Just the basics.

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280.897 - 290.217 Beth Crane

I'm not taking it. You've paid for one person. I've fuelled up and stocked up for one person. Not a crate full of... I'm not even sure what half this stuff is.

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290.264 - 295.513 Chris Monterpelle

Well, you're not living the haute couture lifestyle. We're paying you well, extremely well.

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295.533 - 304.588 Beth Crane

I have a lot of subsidiary costs. Like what? I'm taking one person and one small suitcase. Think of me as the easy jet of the smuggling business.

304.948 - 306.331 Chris Monterpelle

We don't do budget.

306.691 - 308.013 Beth Crane

Think of it as minimalist.

308.594 - 309.897 Chris Monterpelle

She's not going to be happy.

310.417 - 316.828 Beth Crane

She'll live, unlike the guards she killed on the way out. Okay, now clear off.

Chapter 6: What challenges do Kilner and Samantha face in their journey?

416.759 - 423.708 Beth Crane

I guess my ship is a little dirty. I suppose you couldn't see it. I'm so sorry. I'm so untidy for a woman.

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424.289 - 428.515 Unknown

I guess it could happen to anyone, right? Anyone at all. It's a harmless mistake.

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428.856 - 431.124 Beth Crane

Yeah... You have a nice day now.

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431.945 - 433.126 Unknown

I can go?

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433.146 - 433.947 Beth Crane

Go on.

439.373 - 440.614 Jack Carmichael

Well, that was a little cruel.

441.014 - 451.325 Beth Crane

Obnoxious little creep. He was about three seconds away from asking to speak to the man of the ship. I guess the closest thing would be you. And you're a computer. Oh, come on. Pile of junk.

451.965 - 456.21 Jack Carmichael

Hey, less of that. I don't take it out on you when you park badly.

456.77 - 457.431 Beth Crane

Sorry.

Chapter 7: How does the plot develop with the introduction of new characters?

520.111 - 522.454 Rebecca Evans

Yes, I'm... What happened to your face?

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522.815 - 526.539 Beth Crane

What happened to yours? What? That nose is natural, is it?

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527.06 - 537.534 Rebecca Evans

Well, no, but it's like, you've got like... Sorry, I've never actually met a full-on one of you before. I mean, I've got a friend with a robot hand, but I think it's ironic.

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538.775 - 540.658 Beth Crane

You can say it. It's not a dirty word.

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541.519 - 545.704 Rebecca Evans

You're a... Sorry, I mean, I'm just... I'm a cyborg. There you go.

546.612 - 570.156 Beth Crane

But, like, can I ask you what actually happened? Some things. Like what? Mining accident. Industrial accident. Radiation. Crocodile. Et cetera, et cetera. I can go on. Oh, you've gone all pale. Little tip for you. If you wonder whether you should ask something, 90% of the time, it's better not to.

571.469 - 573.591 Rebecca Evans

So, what do you call this place?

574.453 - 587.708 Beth Crane

Put that down. This is the Yellow Submarine. Why is it called that? No idea. It was secondhand and changing the name was a hassle. Right. You've not been cryo'd before, have you? Excuse me? Cryo'd. Put in suspended animation.

588.249 - 590.832 Rebecca Evans

I know what it means, but nobody cryo's anymore.

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