Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
We rolling? We are up, running, rolling, hop, skipping, and jumping. On a river. Rolling on a river. Dude, every time I hear river, all I hear is that, I think it was Wendy Williams, denial is a river in Egypt. I have seen that one.
Your husband is gay. I have seen that one. That's so good.
I don't know. Every time I hear river or denial, I just hear Wendy in my ear. That's kind of a beautiful earworm. It kind of is. Is that the right? Yeah. Yeah. Audio stim. It's an interesting one. It's not one I would say out loud unless it's to my closest, nearest and dearest friends, you guys. But yeah, I don't know. I'm just like I'm in a weird funk right now.
I feel like everyone's kind of in a funk. Yeah. With everything going on. Like it's so crazy to recording something and then like, OK, this comes out two weeks later or three weeks later.
Yeah. We don't know what's going to be happening. We don't even know.
So it's like it's so hard with the podcast and like banking episodes because like a lot of my episodes that I'm recording in the next couple of weeks like won't even be seen for months. And it's just like.
Yeah, and so much is happening every day.
Every day. It's crazy. Each and every day. So we're kind of continuing on our theme. We did updates, happy endings with Jenna last week. We're going to do another update episode. But not happy endings? Not happy endings. A lot of them I haven't read the endings, actually. Oh, okay. So it could conceivably have a happy ending? Could. Okay. And it also depends on your definition of a happy ending.
Oh, wow. Is breaking up a happy ending if it's for the best?
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Chapter 2: How does the host feel about chaotic updates?
I just feel like I'm like I have weird, almost like expressive aphasia. And I'm just like the words I'm saying, it's just like, what the hell are you trying to say most of the time? And watching back the edits has been brutal lately. And I'm like, OK, I just I'm going to get a brain scan and just make sure we're good. I haven't seen that at all. Okay. I'll tell you that. Thank you.
I'm just... But do whatever makes you feel, you know, safe and comfortable. Oh, and if you're having tummy issues, colon cancer rates just shot up again. So eat your fiber, get your colonoscopy. Story one. It's like my soapbox. That out of the way. Yeah, we're good. We're good. We're locked in now. So this is coming from Am I the Asshole?
It's titled, Am I the Asshole for telling my wife to stop being so jealous of my friend's fiancé? My wife, 35 female, and I, 36 male, are good friends with another couple, my best friend, Matt, 36 male, and his fiancée, Rachel, 24 female. Rachel models and is very attractive.
My wife is less conventionally attractive, but I fell in love with her for her humor and good spirit, which I personally find more attractive than good looks. Recently, I've noticed my wife making a lot of comments about Rachel, calling her an airhead, and just kind of being mean.
Chapter 3: How does the discussion about jealousy unfold?
When my wife makes these comments in private, I'm able to stand up for Rachel, but when they're made in public, I obviously don't want to embarrass my wife by calling her out. My wife and I went on a trip away with Matt and Rachel last weekend, which we'd been planning for a while and really looking forward to it.
At dinner one night, my wife made a really mean comment after we started talking about the economy. She remarked, don't worry, Rachel, you can join in the conversation once the smart people are done. She was the only one that laughed.
Chapter 4: What stories are shared in this episode?
I was completely embarrassed, and once we were alone, I told my wife she had been really rude and I was ashamed of her. I told her she needs to stop making nasty comments, and she agreed. However, the next night, we all went out to a bar. Rachel was getting a lot of attention from guys there who were sending over drinks.
My wife was looking visibly annoyed that she wasn't receiving the same attention, so I tried to lift her spirits by paying for all of her drinks and making a fuss of her. One guy came over and said that Rachel looked just like the model Zendaya. My wife let out a massive laugh and said, did you mean to say Whoopi Goldberg?
I turned to my wife and straight up said, you really are so jealous, aren't you? She looked hurt but didn't have time to respond as Rachel had left the table in tears. I followed Matt and told Rachel directly that I was so sorry for my wife's words and that I was ashamed of her behavior.
When I reunited with my wife, she told me I was horrible for calling her jealous in front of everyone and embarrassing her. I told her straight up that she was jealous of Rachel, as Rachel is more attractive than her. I realize in hindsight, this was a very heavy thing to say and can see why she would be hurt by it. However, I stand by the fact it was said in anger. Am I the asshole?
This is a doozy. This is like, oh my God, this was a journey to take me on. This woman sounds horrible to be around.
First of all, yeah, this this also what was their ages again? Um, OP is 36. Wife is 35. His friend is 36. So all of them are around the same age. And then friend's fiance is 24.
Rachel is 24?
Yeah. Rachel, yeah.
Oh my God. So that's another whole layer of this. A little baby. This whole thing. Get her out of there, actually. Get Rachel safe. Rachel needs to be marked as safe. I'm like worried about her. Yeah, I think this is tough. This is very high school behavior, first of all. Like it brings me back to just like being in friendships with people who were actually like...
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Chapter 5: What feelings arise during a midlife crisis in relationships?
Fifteen fucking years ago, this lady's just like, here, let's just let's get it all out. Yeah. I already knew this because her friend who fancied me at the time told me about it. I asked her why him and not me. What's he got that I haven't? She said nothing. And it was more about the situation than him. She said she's starting to feel a regret and like she missed out on her youth.
She had a boyfriend from school to her early 20s, was single for a year and then met me. She said she started to regret not having more fun and she's starting to enjoy attention from other men more and more, especially younger men. So this is just a midlife crisis, but for a woman. When she was telling me originally, she said a couple of times, quote, I'm not planning on doing anything.
It's just a fantasy. Unless you want me to do something. Wait, you were right.
Chapter 6: How does jealousy manifest in relationships?
With a nervous laughter. And at the time, it felt a bit like she wanted to do something, but was trying to frame it as my idea. But I never really clicked properly. I asked her if when she told me she was expecting me to give her permission, and she said she genuinely thought because I don't get jealous, I would be okay with it. I fucking knew it.
I still feel like I wasn't being given everything, though. The outfit and the kiss confession felt like distractions and something was missing. Even telling me about all of this in the first place felt a bit like she was trying to get her story in before someone else told me. I said I'm going for a drive, and then I went to the gym to speak to her personal trainer.
I approached him and said I'm not here for trouble. I understand my wife has been harassing you. He wasn't happy being approached this way, which I get, but he asked me who my wife was, and when I told him, he said he knew something like this was going to happen. Oh. Plural. Plural.
Chapter 7: What steps are taken to address relationship boundaries?
plural, not just the one she told me about. He said since then she had kept messaging, but he ignored her. He let me read the messages, and she had sent 12 pictures over a three-month period. One was fully naked, and when he told her not to send them, she said she was just showing her progress.
The worst part was that she was messaging him stuff like, quote, we've had another argument could really do with a session to burn off some anger. And, quote, he's out drinking with his friends again, ignoring me. I'm so lonely. Neither of which are true. And then she told him mid-December that she had kicked me out and we were divorcing.
With the Christmas Day picture, she even said, quote, first Christmas alone. This girl's crazy. And just last week, she messaged him saying I was already seeing someone else. Oh. I thanked him and asked him to send me them and I went home. When I got home, she was already gone and just wrote me a note saying sorry.
Chapter 8: How do past relationships influence current friendships?
She's at her friend's house and we've been texting a bit the last couple of days and have a marriage counselor booked for next week, but I think it's done. I'm not even that bothered about the pictures or the flirting or the outfit. The lying about me and our marital status. I don't drink, and we haven't argued in years. I'm downstairs entertaining her family while she's sending nudes.
She's never sent me one. And telling him she's alone? I'm working all this weekend to try and keep my mind busy. Sorry if I don't reply quick enough, and thank you to everyone who took the time to read and reply to my last post.
I have so many thoughts. And may I start with, okay, so now it does make sense that she was oversharing so much in the beginning because actually there was so much more. That's why I'm like...
for what like yeah why do you feel so guilty if it's just a little crush yeah like why would you tell him every single like thought you've had that like hasn't been acted on but it's because she was overcompensating with those details to cover like the bigger details it was almost like a magician yeah like look over here not over here it's over here it's yep right here i feel like
I mean, and then, yeah, him saying like, I wasn't even bothered by the news. I was like, I guess she's right about him not being a very jealous person. Like, I'm so confused. But like, she was like sexually harassing this guy.
Yeah, no, that is horrible. Getting unsolicited nudes from someone. It's just my progress pictures. Especially a client like you're trying to keep it so professional. This is your job. And then now you're getting harassed through your work. And she's like obsessed with him. It's very scary.
Yeah, that limerence. That's a new one for me. I think that that comment was very illuminating. Yeah. I was going to say illuminative, but I was like, there's no way that's... You can make up a word. Illuminating. Yeah. I mean, that's crazy.
I just... I don't know how also you would like look at the messages of your wife sending to someone else like unanswered, like desperate for them and then like not feel like... They were settling with you or, like, I don't know. It would just be, like, an ick also. Yeah. Like, ugh. Like, you are sexually harassing this man and he is not interested in you. Like, this is icky. No.
And, like, the thing is with her... This guy kept it really professional. He was not interested, but she was actively trying to cheat. That's the thing. That's the thing.
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