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Two Hot Takes

261: Phony People Ft. Ron Funches

26 Mar 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What experiences shaped Ron Funches' comedic journey?

0.031 - 23.505 Morgan

Did you have a good retrograde? Did retrograde treat you okay? It actually did. Oh. I know, rare. You're not a Pisces, are you? I am. When's your birthday? March 12th. Mine's March 4th. Oh, okay. Happy Pisces. How did you have a good retrograde? I don't know. Because Mercury and Pisces are like, it's the worst. It's da-da-da, butting heads.

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But no, it makes sense. I mean, I'm not saying there weren't frustrations. There have been frustrations.

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Just a few.

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Yeah. Always.

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Oh, that's life.

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Yeah.

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Life is chaos. Truly. I'm so excited to have you today.

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I like how you have blankets.

Chapter 2: How do friendships change when partners are involved?

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Okay. And then I went and saw Little Miss Amy Poehler live here in LA. And who was her opening guest? You.

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71.97 - 72.732 Ron Funches

That sounds right.

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And I was like, I love his vibe. Thank you. You just have such an aura of like happy, calm, nice, fun. And it's been really, really crazy watching your journey lately. You went on Traders, had a hell of a time. And then I got really into your standup and you have like, you drop these little nuggets of information on your standup.

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And now I'm like really scared of koalas because I didn't know basically all of them have chlamydia.

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Yeah, especially in captivity.

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Why aren't they giving them like, can't they give them a Z-Pack or something? I don't know.

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It's messed up and it's like most old folks homes.

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Literally. Because they don't use condoms. I talk about this all the time.

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Or should they?

Chapter 3: What are the implications of pretending to like a friend's partner?

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I would say you can probably sum up my career in the fact that you probably have seen me. You just didn't realize that you saw me. I've done a lot of fun things that people recognize and had a great and successful career over the past 15, 20 years. But constantly I have people telling me, oh, I've never heard of you before. It's the first time I've seen you. And I think that's very beautiful.

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To me, it means that I still have much more to go. But you might have seen me on a new girl dancing as a naked homeless man, the father figure. See, she didn't even know that.

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What? That's you. It is you. That's me. See, I recognize your voice from Trolls.

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Oh, OK. Yes. Yes.

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I'm Cooper from Trolls. If you're a big nerd, you might know me as King Shark from Harley Quinn. If you are. Oh, I'm Bluefie in Inside Out, too. And then I've been acting in different shows. I'm on the loot with Maya Rudolph.

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Yeah, that's next on my list.

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It's a wonderful show. I recommend you check it out. And then a lot of people have heard my jokes in different formats, even if it wasn't from me. I wrote a joke about raising a kid with autism where it was like being with a friend who'd done too many shrooms.

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And while you yourself are on a moderate amount of shrooms, that was a big meme that went around for a while to the point now people, whenever I post a joke, people go, you stole that from Fuck Jerry. And I'm like, you think Fuck Jerry had an autistic kid?

Chapter 4: How do we navigate uncomfortable family dynamics?

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I'm communicating. I'm I'm I thought I was telling my opinion very clearly. And then it's like, oh, it's not coming across that way.

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Yeah, that's pretty much was my experience on the traders to a T and also mean girl. And but it was a thing that kind of reminded me of.

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of my past and probably mostly why i for the most part work independently and have always been a guy who just works by myself with stand up and then when i do work in groups it usually is just i prefer it with sweet nerds like maya rudolph and joel and michaela j rodriguez over at loot so Other group situations had been like that before.

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I mean, especially you got thrown into a shark tank. Yeah, like just a shark tank.

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312.884 - 313.645 Ron Funches

Yes.

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Luckily, you had a little snake wrangler. He seems so chill, but just a crazy, crazy experience. And I think that experience and everything in your illustrious career has taught you is going to help give some takes on these stories today. Let's do it. I'm so excited. Let's dive in.

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Thank you. Thank you.

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Chapter 5: What are the consequences of infidelity on relationships?

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You locked in. You picked your role. I mean, I picked up on there's so many things to say in there. It sounds like they have a good relationship.

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after together they've been married for four years that's a long time to me and they and she's still happy she said she lights up and there's even things that in in the tone of the letter where he's about well she's not he's not abusive period not cheating in parentheses as far as you know uh it's not like you don't want to give this man no credit whatsoever yeah like the bar is low but like it seems like he's seemingly okay he's seemingly

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great like who i mean especially if you've been together that long and now they've been married for four years who doesn't talk over someone's sentences where you when you know where it's going you you've already heard this before yes now they taking it public she's already ran the lines behind the scenes with him so he's just like okay i'm on board here's the next thing oh my god that's such a good point and i don't know what your hometown is so how do we not know it's not shitty

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I wonder if she commented where she lives. I'm like now or where she grew up. I'm so curious. But that is a good point that I think people sometimes forget with couples is like typically by the time you're hearing this conversation, they've had this and maybe they've even told this story before in front of other people.

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And I think for me and I have a friend who co-hosts with me a lot, we're both neurodivergent. So we are constantly cutting each other off. And sometimes it's a blessing where it's like, I wish you would have jumped in sooner so I didn't keep talking. I didn't even know what I was going to finish that sentence with. So I'm glad you cut me off and kind of saved me.

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And so if that's your normal flow of conversation, you don't have a problem with it. It's preferred even maybe.

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Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I agree with you. And that was one of the things I saw. I was like, we don't know this person's background. We don't know if they are neurodivergent. So it could be just the way that they speak in a conversation seems overwhelming to you. The only thing is if someone's not able to take criticism back and they're like joking at you, but you can't joke back.

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I can understand that being too much. But I don't know if they, I got to get more info because I don't know if it's like him saying his opinion and then her going like, I don't agree with him just being like, ah, but I do. It's my thing. Why wouldn't he? Why would he not keep fighting for his opinion? I know. I mean, you just got to let your girl be happy. It's rough out there.

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You just want her out there and dating?

Chapter 6: How do you address conflicts about social media privacy?

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You know what I mean? You look a little suspicious to me. So good. I'm glad the happy birthday once a year and you just tolerating him at parties is the most of a relationship I really want y'all to have. Sounds great. Yes.

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I think so too. I think like, I think we've kind of come to this unrealistic expectation of like, you need to get along with everyone and like all your mutual friends and a friend of a friend. You need to like them and you need to like their partners. It's like, hey, not everyone's my cup of tea. I'm not everyone's cup of tea. Like we we can be OK with that.

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Find who you like and just stick with your people.

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Yeah. Don't be. I mean, the worst part about it seems like is that you're being a little bit phony. You know, I bet he probably don't like you that much.

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He doesn't want that happy birthday text every year. The top comment on this one. Unfortunately, there's not much you can do about it except learn to manage your feelings. You've said it yourself. Your best friend is happy with him. And that's all that matters. I think there's often this unspoken expectation that we should like our friend's partners.

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But sometimes you just don't click with someone. That's okay. You don't have to force yourself to be close with him. Disliking him doesn't make you a bad friend. You can keep things civil with him for your best friend's sake. Sounds perfect to me. Civil. It doesn't take a lot to be civil.

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Yeah. I mean, I don't want to say nothing, but it's like, you know, maybe you should be busy with your own thing. I don't know.

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We don't know. That's all we got. There's no comments from our writer. We don't know what city she grew up in. So maybe we'll get an update eventually.

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Please, I want to know.

Chapter 7: What should you do when a partner disrespects your family?

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And he said that I was being petty. I refused to give in and he said I should just get them something because they probably didn't even notice that they had left me out. But honestly, I want to invite them over just to show them the cool souvenirs I got for my family only. Am I the asshole?

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A little bit. A small amount. Just at the end, really. Just at the end. Just in the wanting to invite them over. To rub their face in it. That's the only asshole part about it. To me, the rest of it is they're the assholes. They sound like real jerks. If they invite you over, nothing feels worse than... It's a universal feeling that we have when we're kids.

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It's the reason why when you go to a toddler's birthday party, they have little gift bags for everyone. Because no one feels worse than watching someone else open a bunch of gifts and you don't get anything.

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I completely agree. Like feeling left out and excluded, it like physically pains me. I feel sick and nauseous over it, which sounds so silly. But I just want to go back. You're getting presents at toddler birthday parties?

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When you go to a toddler birthday party, I mean, not like presents, but like little gift bags got like a little toy.

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I'm going to the wrong parties.

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Oh, for like the kids. Yeah, not for me. I'm not just going to random kids' birthday parties.

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No, I thought they were giving you gifts.

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Oh, no.

Chapter 8: How can humor help in discussing serious topics?

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No, look them right back and go like, I got something for the kids. I didn't get nothing for you. I forgot about you like you guys forgot about me. Apparently, we ain't that close.

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Would you say that to them? Yes. Call them out?

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See, here's where I might be a little petty. I'd get them postcards. I'd get them the cheapest, cheapest thing I could find.

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That's the other option, yes.

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Because then it's like, hey, I'm actually, I'm better than you because I didn't forget about you.

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Yeah.

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But it's... It's cheap.

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Yeah.

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