Chapter 1: What are the chaotic stories discussed in this episode?
Are you ready? I'm ready. I'm so excited. I don't know if you remember this, but we have briefly met before on a carpet. Oh, my God. Tell me which one. It was the pre-Golden Globes Spotify party. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was asking you for hot takes with a mini mic. Yes. And you had a really good one. You said, let kids swear. Yeah.
And then Robbie absolutely blew me out of the water and was like, coffee's disgusting.
That really disturbed me.
I like the whole rest of the night. That was genuinely like the worst one I got.
Yeah. Look, he he for himself is not wrong. Like whatever you like is what you like. But true coffee, liking coffee. I'm going to get so much hate from specific people in my life. Not liking coffee, I think, is a barometer for being a little bit weird.
I'm with you. A little bit weird. You can have a bean preference. Like I get a lot of people. They're like, I hate that coffee. Their beans are burnt. Like you have to dabble and find your flavor. Yeah. Get that. But to not like it at all. I know. I'm like, refine your palate, girls. Really? That's how I feel. I feel the same way. Hi, guys. Welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes.
I'm your host, Morgan, and I'm so excited to be joined today by Nadine Baba. Nadine, you were in Heat of Rivalry. I feel like everyone's been talking about this show for months now. It's absolutely incredible. I don't think people, like, realize how good of a show it is. And people talk about how hot it is. But I'm like, no, no, no. Like, the acting, the cinematography. Yes.
Shout out to Jackson.
It's unreal. I found this TikTok account by this girl, Valentina. And she breaks down all the shots. And, like, I think she actually reached out to Jackson. Probably. And got, like, aerials of the rooms. And she's like, this is how he did this one shot versus this. It's such a good... show.
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Chapter 2: How does Nadine view the impact of past relationships?
It's so good.
No, it's so good. And then six is like a little sweet glass of port.
I love how he shot it, too, where, like, six felt like it could have been enough closure if it didn't get picked up for season two. Totally. Which, like, thank you, because you never know. Mm-hmm. Lady Jane Grey, whatever that show is, still haunts me that didn't come back for season two. Right. So, like, I really appreciate that, but... I cried the entire time.
Like every single episode I cried, I'm like, I thought this was supposed to be like. Yeah. Just bawling. Yeah. But your character is like the friend everyone wants. Like, have you been getting that a lot where you're like?
Yeah, I've been getting so many DMs from people being like, I wish I knew a person like this when I was younger, which is so nice. I mean, oh my God. It really breaks my heart that people don't have that sense of community outside of what feels like the internet right now.
I know. That's one thing that's like I've even noticed. And L.A. is especially difficult. But like we don't really have strong villages anymore. I feel like I grew up and it was like, oh, my grandma would watch me or my aunt would watch me. My mom's friend would watch me. Like you'd kind of get pawned off on your village. And now it's kind of hard to have that.
They've done studies that like if you're within walking distance of your friends, you live a better life. I fully believe it. Yeah. In my neighborhood, I live a lot of the time in Toronto. In my neighborhood, I can walk to like seven or eight different friends. That's unreal. Yeah. It makes the biggest difference.
And I'm talking like 10-minute walk, like not half hour, 45 minutes, like 10 minutes.
No.
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Chapter 3: What advice is given about navigating friendships and relationships?
Do you? I love Canada. Where have you been?
Kind of all over. Spent a lot of time in Manitoba. Okay. A lot of time outside of Edmonton in Lloyd Minster.
Okay. I know Lloyd Minster because I've never been there. Yeah. But I have friends who are from there.
Very random, hole in the wall, Calgary, Banff, here and there. Not a lot on... The other side. The other side.
So Toronto's very different than those other cities and smaller towns. Lloydminster, shout out.
No, it's so tiny.
Yeah, Toronto is like a really nice mix of, we're like small, clean Canadian New York. I like it.
Yeah.
Okay. I think I'd vibe. I'd vibe. Okay. Well, let's get into these stories. I've got a bunch today that are just kind of like all these crazy dilemmas, but you're such a good friend. You've got the friend vibe down. I've heard you on other podcasts and they're just like, she's such a good person, a good friend. That's nice.
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Chapter 4: How does the conversation shift to discussing personal growth?
They have kids. But I can see through his act of being this hardworking husband and father and the success story and that he's still the same misogynistic asshole. I absolutely hate him. I met him first. I wanted a relationship. I would have supported him like she did, moved states for him, been a good mom to the kids, but somehow she got his attention.
She's super introverted, quiet, and shy, so I don't know how that happened in the first place. Meanwhile, I have a good life on paper and everything is fine, but it's not the same in any way to what she gets from him. I don't know why I was good enough to use, but not good enough to be his girlfriend or wife.
Okay, first of all, the title is like, I hate my friend's husband. I'm like, I'm on your side. Yeah. I hate him too. And then the second part for not choosing me, I'm like, wait a second. Do you want him? Okay, here's the thing. First of all, they don't sound like best friends. No. That already, I'm like... Red flag. Yeah. Because you cannot control how people feel feelings.
And you're not entitled to a person's life like you. You're not entitled to him marrying you and having other random children because she's like, oh, I'll be the I'll be like a good mother to the children. They would be different children. They sure would. Yeah, I I'm girl. Get over it. That's how I feel.
I know. It's really tough because like I think a lot of us have been there where you've been in that friends with benefits box in hopes they wake up and they see you and they're like, I like you. I like you more than that. But the reality is like sometimes people are just okay with convenience and someone they're comfortable with and that's all they want.
Yeah, but it's also like, I mean, I hope this for her and I hope this for everyone. Like, sometimes you think you really like somebody and you like spending time with them and then you meet someone that you really like spending time with and then it makes sense for you.
And you don't really, I mean, I don't know how he treated her in that friends with benefits scenario, but he doesn't owe you a relationship after that.
No. You know? Well, and it sounds like he was in a relationship. Totally. So you were also like... kind of being this other woman. So it's like you've made so many sacrifices just to have him in any regard you can.
Yeah. And look, dating men is a nightmare and a prison. And it sucks. However, in this particular scenario, I'm just sort of like, okay, that man's for the streets then. Like, leave him alone. Like, he's not in your life and you don't want to win something that like was such a struggle.
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Chapter 5: What are the implications of ambition in relationships?
But it's like, you don't need to feel like you need, like put her down. And call her an introvert negatively.
Negatively.
In order to, like, be like, I'm a better person than she is.
I don't get how she's still so lost in the sauce. Yeah. And it's so weird. Like, I don't know. I feel like sometimes labels can, like, They can make you feel better about something, but it is interesting. They can illuminate things. Yes. But I do think you make a good point. It's like, why are we so obsessed with the labels? And, like, we all fall prey to it. And I'm like, I don't know. Why?
Why are we, like, getting so hung up on those things?
I do think it's a lack of community, as we were talking about before, where it's like, if you felt safe and taken care of within your friend group or family or whatever, you would just exist and exist. One day you feel more like an introvert. The next day you feel like an extrovert and you don't need to declare every single day what you are.
But because we are a bit more of like an online generation and feeling the lack of community in order to find these people, you need to declare stuff so other people can put their hand up. That's how it feels.
I just I have to sit with that. I'm like, I completely agree. It's something I've been noticing, too. It's like people are losing nuance. Absolutely. And it's like you have to be one or the other. Like you you have to be in this box. You have to be in that box. It's like, no, no, no. Like there is way more gray area than there is black and white.
And like the ability to just like warp your mind in different variations, like people are really struggling with right now.
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Chapter 6: How do the hosts define whimsy in everyday life?
But, you know, like it's really easy to be like, well, I'm like this or like, OK, I'm going to having a period is really hard. But I do find a lot of the time it's like people say kind of fucked up things. And then there's like, but I'm on my period now.
Oh, my God. They're using it as like a front for whatever.
Yeah. And sometimes I'm a freaking nightmare on my period, too. But like once a month, I'm not going to blame like a fucked up thing I said on me just kind of being a monster.
Oh, for sure. Or I think people do it a lot with like trauma and like. Everyone goes through trauma in their lives. It's valid what you went through. But at the same time, it's not an excuse to treat people horribly.
No, it's like my parents got divorced when I was a teenager. I'm not going to then use it as an excuse if I've said something weird to you at a party.
Yeah. Do you know what I mean? They don't correlate. Exactly. They don't correlate. Like that person or whatever, like probably just sucks. Totally. Was a bitch that day. Yeah. X, Y, Z. Totally. It's not... Yeah.
So like as a child of divorced parents, it's like I don't need to put myself in that box. That is something that happened. It's part of the quilt of my life, but it's not like who I am. And I think like a lot of people use the little squares of their the life quilt as this is who I am. And I think like this woman sounds like she needs to just find her people and she won't be hung up on this.
Like, kind of ghost. Yeah. Because they're not hanging out.
No. You know? Like, they're now seeing each other here and then since, like, they moved back to the city and they're still kind of a mutual friend group. But it's like, if that person, like, if this is disturbing you so much, you maybe shouldn't hang out when she's around in this group. You gotta look inward. It's time because like your late 20s, they're now married with kids, plural.
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Chapter 7: What are the challenges of maintaining friendships during life changes?
keeping you as an option.
And that's the thing. If you don't want to be an option, don't be an option.
Everyone's a loser idiot in their 20s.
Oh, my God. I had no idea who I was, what I was doing. It was insane. I look back and I'm like, I just want to shake me at some points where I'm like, Morgan, don't be sad about this Canadian boy who is ghosting you.
Oh, that's why you know Canada. Oh, I know Canada well.
But I'm like, don't be sad. Like your future is so much bigger and brighter and like it has so much more to offer than being sad about people who don't value you in the same way you value them. Yeah.
If this man was, I mean, no excuse along the way, but like if this man was like in his 30s, 40s and above, I'd be like, okay, like get your shit together, dude. But in his 20s?
They're both out there just experiencing, figuring out who they are, living life.
Yeah.
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Chapter 8: How does the episode conclude with reflections on personal identity?
Oh my God. Yeah. And like, you can use the friend so loosely. Like, did you go to a couple of different parties together in college and that's what you're considering? Or like, you know her. Yeah. But she's not your friend. I don't think if you knew her, she probably wouldn't have gone after him if you would have been like, hey, I've been actually hooking up with him. That's another thing.
And like, The writer even said, like, she doesn't know his past, that he hooked up with me, that he cheated on his girlfriend. It's like, oh, well, if I was hooking up with a guy and this was me, my friends would know everything. So, yeah. They're not friends. I don't think so. She just knows her. She's met her. So odd. But, okay, moving on to this next one. This is coming. The water.
Keep it in. Girls be dribbling. Literally, most episodes, just cups do not work for me. Straws do not work for me. This is coming from r slash am I the asshole talk. Kind of like this random little subreddit that's popped up. It's titled, am I the asshole for accepting a promotion my boyfriend doesn't want me to take because he says it'll change our relationship. Okay.
I got offered a promotion at work, a real one, not a lateral move, not a fancy new title with the same pay, an actual step up, more responsibility, better money, and honestly, something I've been grinding towards for a long time. When they told me, I almost cried in the meeting because I've wanted this for years. I came home that night so excited to tell my boyfriend.
I thought he'd be happy for me, thought we would celebrate, maybe open a bottle of wine and talk about what this could mean for our future together. Instead, he got quiet. Then he started asking questions. But not excited questions, worried ones, like how many more hours are you going to be working? Does this mean no more spontaneous weekends? Are you going to be stressed all the time now?
He said, this isn't the life I pictured for us. The life he pictured, not the life we talked about. The life he decided we were supposed to have, which apparently involved me staying exactly where I am professionally so that things stay comfortable and easy for him. He keeps talking about how he wants a simple life, less stress, less ambition, more time just hanging out and being chill.
And I get that. I love our chill time too. But I'm also a person with goals, and this opportunity means something to me. It's not just about money. It's about me feeling like I'm actually going somewhere. I tried to reassure him, told him a promotion doesn't mean I turn into some corporate robot who never comes home. I said we would figure out a balance together.
I asked him to trust me that I can handle more responsibility without abandoning our relationship. He wasn't hearing it. He said he'd seen it happen before with other couples and that once one person starts climbing the ladder, the relationship always suffers. He said he didn't sign up for that. Didn't sign up for what? For me succeeding? For me wanting more than what I have right now?
That part really stung. Every time I bring up anything work-related, he gets this look on his face like I'm already choosing my job over him by just being excited about it. And I feel like I can't even be happy about this huge thing that happened to me because his reaction has completely overshadowed it.
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