Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
It better be the perfect weather when I come up there soon. I will not have it. I need to get in that pool. Is it ready?
It's open. It's ready.
Yeah. Oh, I'm bringing my swimmies.
Mike and I are more proud of this pool than anything else we've ever accomplished. I would be too. It's a two-year process. Seriously. The pool took longer than the babies. Seriously.
Seriously.
Hello and welcome back to the Friday Feels episode of the U.F. Podcast. I'm Jordana Abraham.
And I am Jared Freed. It is so good to be back here with you, Jordana. I got my crab mug here, my favorite mug.
It says crabby till I get my coffee. And there's a picture of a crab holding two cups of coffee for anyone who's listening. An angry crab.
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Chapter 2: Why is dating considered a luxury in 2026?
An angry crab. You are really, if you move to Florida, do you just turn into someone's like grandma? Like immediately?
I'm the Chachka King.
Yes. I'm the Chachka Chooch. Do you have it in... Do you have them behind a glass break front in your dining room?
You know, I had this theory. I do. I had this theory that when men get a girlfriend or get into a relationship, you have all this other time that you used to use to try and fuck that you have to, like, put into something. Like, I had a buddy that, like, he started baking biscuits. And I was like, what? And he was like, I got really into the butterfat content.
And, like, that's why men have a shed. Like, it's like, what's Mike into? What is Mike's... display like, and if you're, if the guy you're dating has no weird hobby or weird thing he's into, he's cheating on you. He's cheating on you. Yeah. It's over. Yeah.
Well, I think that's like how you slowly devolve into like that dad stereotype of like the Phil Dunphy for modern families, because you just kind of have this extra time. Mike likes running and he likes, we have this little like greenhouse thing. So he's gotten very into like plants and,
Really? So he is a green thumb. He is. He's trying to.
It's not doing that well.
So he's like researching and he's looking it up and taking some happiness from planting and seeing it grow.
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Chapter 3: What are the challenges of dating in today's economy?
And you go, oh, the bumblebee thinks that we'd be a match. And someone five years from now will say at their wedding vows, The bumblebee told me that we were going to be together. This will be a fun story at a wedding.
Right.
That AI is the reason we are all here tonight. Give it up for bumblebee. And they're going to show a picture of bumblebee and it's going to be a little grandma bee with little glasses. I'm sure they have a fun, cute bumblebee. Do we have a picture of bumblebee? Do we have a picture of this matchmaker? I mean, people... V, is there a mascot?
If they don't have a mascot, Whitney Wolf, I mean, was she too busy on the beaches of Ibiza to come up with a mascot? Bumblebee, if it's not a cartoon bee... That's an old woman bee. Get out of here. If there is no old woman bee with a little cane and a fun sweater and a little poof of white hair, then I have issues galore. But I'm just saying. I do think people want to be led to water. And...
the thing that lacks on a dating app and what I do think is good about this is an invented feeling of excitement where someone or something has said you two would be good together. That's the problem with dating. with matchmaking or not matchmaking, with setups. Sometimes setups are, hey, I got this guy. Do you want to meet him?
And I think it's a responsibility of the setter-upper to be like, hey, I was thinking of you and you seem like someone really good for my friend Bumblebee. You know, like I think, so I do think this is in the vein of, I agree with the idea that like, it doesn't matter that it's AI. It's just someone telling you, hey, we did some math and we think that this would be a good match.
And it might help run you up the mountain that is a tall mountain when you're miserable on dating apps, as I have been. So my issue with it, so that's the pro. The pro of this is something is at least telling me that it's a good idea for us to meet. The con of it is that it takes away any effort to have a personality. Like all AI. Right. We've basically, AI is a crutch for the charmless to me.
So it is invented charm. It is invented charm. And I think a lot of women will get duped by that because they're pushed to go on dates and push themselves to go on dates more than men. They go, well, I'm not attracted, but I'll go because Bumblebee said that we're a good match. Right. Why wouldn't I? How can I turn that down? Because my mom will say I'm not trying.
Like, I think a lot of women will be duped into dates with more men that... maybe underwhelm them on the date based on their profile.
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Chapter 4: How does Bumble's new AI matchmaker 'Bumblebee' work?
She's confusing hope for a plan. There's a guy who used to be a GM in football, Mike Lombardi. He says this all the time. Don't confuse hope for a plan. She writes throughout this whole email, I would have hoped, I would have hoped, I would have hoped. Yeah, this is a big scavenger hunt that he doesn't even know he's on. And...
We're not even saying... I like that you said don't... You're not saying divorce him. No. I'm also not saying don't make him into this great... I'm not trying to make him into a great guy. We don't even know how he is. Because you, as you wrote... Overall, we have a pretty good relationship and I try to pick my battles to avoid rocking the boat. That tells me the whole story.
I would say overall, you have no idea what type of relationship you have because you don't rock the boat, because you don't let him know when you're upset and what you expect. You never find out when he's under pressure. performed based on what you've asked for. And there's no negotiation. There's no discussion.
So right now you're living in a dream world where you hope for all these nice things to happen that you've dreamt up. And then... you never see whether he cares enough to make the change to do them for you. Yeah. Like Mike writes you the letter because you said, Hey, I'm pissed. I want a fucking letter.
And now you see how much he cares about you because he does something that means nothing to him, but means a lot to you because he's in a relationship with you and he cares about your happiness.
Yes.
This person doesn't know.
Right. I mean, and I would say, like, it's funny. I agree with you about the rocking the boat thing. Like, Mike and I used to fight a good amount when we first started dating. And it's because... We rock the boat. Rocking the boat gets you to a very peaceful island if you can do it effectively, I think.
Because then you're not about to get married and you're like, why doesn't he care about the vows? Ideally, by the time you get married, you're like, I know this person. I know they don't care about the vows. I just care that he wrote me good vows. Or I'm not okay with that and this isn't the right person for me. Right. It's kind of like... That's why you need to fight in the beginning.
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Chapter 5: What are the implications of AI in modern dating?
Right. I don't want to live that way. I don't want to live constantly disappointing someone I have no idea I'm disappointing.
Right. Well, that's the thing. That's why you've got to get those early battles, as she calls them. You've got to rock the boat a little early.
I write about it in Walking Red Flag, dating advice from your favorite guy friend, which you can pre-order. Please pre-order if you haven't already. I talk about... a 10 cent fights versus $10 fights.
Like you want, I, would you call this a 10 cent or a $10?
We're at a $10 fight now because she saved up all the 10 cent fights. You know, there were so many other small arguments she could have had that would have helped communicate more than this now $10 fight where I don't think you care about our marriage because you never read the vows and they've been sitting next to your bed stand for a year. Yeah.
I talk about this and I was a person that always avoided 10 cent fights because I wasn't really invested enough to be to have, you know, to figure those things out, or maybe I was afraid to commit more. And that's why I would never have those arguments. And because having those arguments meant that we were becoming a stronger couple and maybe I was avoiding that.
So I think 10 cent fights, if someone won't have them with you, then they're not really looking to be in a relationship and, or they're afraid of losing what you have. And that seems to be the case here. So Jordana, we solved dating again.
We did it. We'll be back next week.
Boom.
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