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Why Hot Takes Are Ruining Dating Advice ft. Dear Shandy

01 May 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

2.208 - 6.836 Jordana Abraham

Hello, and welcome back to the Friday Feels episode of the You Up podcast. I'm Jordana Abraham.

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6.916 - 20.338 Jared Freid

And I am Jared Freed. It is so good to be back here with you, Jordana, but it is especially good because we have two very special guests from the Dear Shandy podcast, Charlene Joint and Andy Levine. Thank you guys for coming on.

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20.458 - 21.86 Sharleen Joynt

Thanks for having us, guys.

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22.001 - 22.782 Jared Freid

What's going on?

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22.862 - 24.364 Andy Levine

How are you guys today? It's good.

Chapter 2: What are the unique perspectives on dating advice shared by the guests?

24.384 - 33.978 Andy Levine

It's good to be here. I know we didn't cross paths. You asked if we were up, and we said we were up, and then you never consummated the thing. So now we all have to fuck.

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34.599 - 37.122 Jordana Abraham

Oh, they didn't tell you that's how we do all the episodes?

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39.386 - 57.093 Jared Freid

They locked the doors. Now we're in your pocket. So you guys have a podcast, Dear Shandy. You talk about dating, relationships. I mean, why do we have to do this? If you do what we do, what do we need to do this for? What is the... Meeting of the minds. What's the meeting? What are we going to talk about?

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57.133 - 60.278 Sharleen Joynt

I guess it comes down to who was doing it first. What year did you guys start?

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60.539 - 62.482 Jared Freid

Before you. Really?

Chapter 3: Why are people often confused instead of just turned off in dating?

62.502 - 70.937 Jared Freid

So we went there. What's the nature of the podcast? How did it start? I know you were on The Bachelor. Yes. And Andy, what did you do before?

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70.997 - 74.503 Andy Levine

I was just doing my business. I was just a businessman.

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74.483 - 78.148 Jared Freid

Okay, that's a secret. That sounds like a grift.

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79.17 - 93.731 Andy Levine

It was business, you know, business here, business there. What pyramid scheme did you have? It was a couple of things, MLMs. But no, I met this beautiful woman, and we dated for a few years. Yes, many years. Actually, we got married like a year after. We got married really fast, actually.

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Chapter 4: How do the guests define the difference between true love and true likes?

93.891 - 108.995 Andy Levine

I proposed to her five months after I met her. Five months. Interesting story. I meant to propose three months after I met her. We were in Italy and I had a ring in my pocket that I brought from New York and I was in bed with her. I was like, I'm gonna do it now. I don't care.

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109.055 - 124.578 Andy Levine

You know, all the times I tried to get it romantic, like at the top of a castle outside, it was like raining and there was too many tourists. I was like, I'm doing it right here in bed. And I went into my pocket and I was like, I can't get the thing out. Like it was stuck in the bottom of my jean pocket. And I was, I just couldn't get out. So I was like, I'm not going to do it.

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124.859 - 126.581 Andy Levine

It was taking too long. So I proposed a couple months later.

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126.601 - 128.404 Jordana Abraham

Had you discussed engagement?

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Chapter 5: What insights do the guests offer about their experiences on reality TV?

128.764 - 129.105 Jordana Abraham

No.

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129.165 - 134.613 Jared Freid

No. You wanted to surprise me. Wow. What are you doing in Italy three months in? She was singing.

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134.853 - 135.554 Andy Levine

She was an opera singer.

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135.654 - 144.325 Jared Freid

And you were just like, I'm coming. What's this business that you do that affords you to go to Italy three months with some random opera singer?

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144.345 - 150.053 Sharleen Joynt

Fun fact, his business or what he does outside of the podcast is top secret information. We never divulge on our podcast.

150.073 - 151.014 Jared Freid

You never divulge.

151.034 - 153.638 Sharleen Joynt

So our shandies of nearly six years still don't know what Andy does.

154.319 - 161.528 Jared Freid

Don't you think that's an issue for a dating podcast where you're supposedly the honest one who gives it to people straight and you're not talking about money at all?

161.508 - 168.798 Andy Levine

That's right. Well, the reason I set that precedent is because I do not believe that work should be discussed in the first couple of days.

Chapter 6: How has social media influenced modern dating dynamics?

178.271 - 179.433 Andy Levine

I've delegated the business.

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179.673 - 182.798 Jared Freid

You think in the first few dates that is not worth bringing up at all?

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182.878 - 187.583 Andy Levine

Well, the first few dates for sure. But I've always been on a first date with our fans.

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187.603 - 190.666 Sharleen Joynt

Andy has always hated the question, so what do you do on a date?

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190.827 - 200.256 Jared Freid

I'm asking it right now. I think it's very important to the conversation because money revolves around all of this, don't you think?

200.436 - 202.839 Andy Levine

Take your pants off. Let's see if it's worth it.

203.039 - 203.92 Jared Freid

I absolutely will.

204.02 - 204.641 Andy Levine

I don't care.

204.701 - 206.242 Jared Freid

I have no issue.

Chapter 7: What are the challenges faced by men in dating today?

220.19 - 225.057 Jared Freid

No, I would not trust someone who won't reveal what they do for a living.

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225.077 - 227.802 Andy Levine

I wouldn't trust me regardless of me revealing what I do for a living.

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227.922 - 235.516 Jared Freid

Even that answer is not trustworthy. That is a not trustworthy answer. Because three months in, here's my point. How did you guys meet before three months?

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235.716 - 238.702 Sharleen Joynt

I happened to sit next to him at the Wooly, and he picked me up.

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238.722 - 239.844 Jared Freid

The Wooly? What's the Wooly?

240.004 - 246.797 Sharleen Joynt

It's an event space that now doesn't exist. It was at the Woolworth building. It was like a nice bar, though. The setting was like a nice bar.

246.777 - 253.088 Jared Freid

So New York City, you're at a bar. And you, who spoke to who first? I asked her.

253.149 - 254.912 Sharleen Joynt

Look at him. You think that he doesn't have the moves?

255.373 - 260.342 Jared Freid

Well, I used to. Yeah, he's a professional con man.

Chapter 8: What makes Love is Blind a standout reality show for relationship dynamics?

260.362 - 264.81 Andy Levine

Doesn't tell people what he does. Of course he has the moves. Thank you for the professional.

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265.932 - 270.018 Jared Freid

Six years not telling a listenership what you do. And they trust you.

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270.198 - 286.896 Sharleen Joynt

I will add to this that when we started the podcast, it was sort of like in the pandemic. It wasn't sort of. It was in the heart of the pandemic, out of our living room. And we're like, we don't know if this is going to be a thing. And in general, like I was the more public figure out of the two of us. And we didn't want to like force him to be more public than he felt comfortable.

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286.976 - 288.858 Sharleen Joynt

And now it has just become a thing.

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288.878 - 293.743 Jared Freid

It's become a thing. Well, you were famous for turning down The Bachelor, leaving the show.

293.723 - 310.913 Jordana Abraham

I watched that season. We used to recap it. I used to do the recaps unless I said something negative about you, in which case it was someone else. You probably said I had to stick up my ass. No, I think we really liked you. Here's the thing. It was like a very big power move to leave The Bachelor when he was like really into you. Yeah. You weren't into him.

311.033 - 318.205 Jordana Abraham

It was like the one honest thing about the thing is that you were all dating this man and you'd be like, I'm getting to know this man and I'm not really that into him.

318.225 - 337.855 Sharleen Joynt

I think I took the whole thing maybe too sincerely because the way I saw it was like, this is a guy I would totally hook up with. He was fun, he was hot, and there was really good chemistry. But then you go in the ITM room and they're like, so are you excited to introduce Juan Pablo to your parents as a potential future husband? And I was like, eh.

337.835 - 345.673 Sharleen Joynt

I wasn't able to keep a straight face through those conversations, and that didn't really translate. There came a point where it was like, well, then what are you doing?

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