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Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Hello, and welcome back to the Friday Feels episode of the U.S. Podcast. I'm Jordana Abraham.
And I am Jared Freed. It is so good to be back here with you, Jordana. How are you? What's going on? How are you feeling on a Friday?
I'm okay. I'm coming off of a very rainy Memorial Day weekend.
I didn't want to bring it up. I had maybe the most beautiful weekend of my life. I heard it was tough in the Northeast. Florida was gorgeous per usual. Not to bring it up. I don't want to bring it up.
It was the whole weekend. All right, you're already brought it up.
All right, sorry.
Well, I have a question. So I did some boring shit this weekend because there was just... I like to do boring shit when the weather's... Rainy. Yeah. I mean, we went to dinner and like that. It was nice. But we went to go look at cars. And I encountered, I have a question for you as a man. Okay. Do you like have any idea what like prenatal care entails? Like aside from like the movies?
Yeah.
I don't know. To me, prenatal, first of all, is a word that scares me. Second of all, the only thing I thought about, I call it my punch bowl theory. My punch bowl theory is, or theory is not really the right name for it. This is my punch bowl opinion is that there's things that you've seen in movies your whole life that just don't exist in real life.
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Chapter 2: What misconceptions do men have about prenatal care?
Which no one even goes to either.
Right. Apparently that's another thing like the punch bowl that just doesn't exist. Yeah, or the water breaking all over the floor. Another thing that I was told about in TV my whole life. So prenatal care, to me, the only pre-baby thing that I knew of was these Lamaze classes that apparently didn't exist. So no, I know absolutely nothing.
Well, Mike and I have been getting a recurring question and it's usually from a man. I think it's every time it's been from a man. And it's just a weird question whenever we're out with the twisters. Cause they're like, Oh, are they twins? And we're like, yeah, they're twins. And then the men will say, they'll ask this question.
They'll say, were you like surprised or like, did you know, like, did you know you were going to have twins? And I'm like, What do you mean? Were we surprised when they came out? First of all, obviously we don't really have twins, so the question doesn't really apply to us. I'm just trying to think.
This is already an imaginary conversation you're having. But if you were to have twins.
No, but it's not an imaginary conversation because it's like that's a question set many people ask it. It's like weird the amount of men who ask that question. And I just don't really understand what they're asking. Like were you expecting it or were you surprised?
So there's a group of men out there. Like when they came out? Right. So what you're saying is that there's a large group of men who believe that twins, much like the sex of a baby, is something you don't know until the moment you have the baby?
Yeah, I mean, you can, you also know that most people know the sex of the baby before. Right, I'm just saying, like, you can elect. Like, you can elect. You can elect to not know that you're having twins until they come, right? Like, here's one. Oh, wow, another one. Right. And that's why I'm like, do men know about, like, a, like, scan?
Because there's another, like, I guess it's not a punch bowl because it actually happens when the husband and the wife go in and they put the, rub the jelly on the belly and then they're, like, looking in the thing. I'm just like, does no one... No, the punch bowl would be... What is the question?
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Chapter 3: Is it petty or justified to report an ex's profile picture with your dog?
I mean, I've said this for years on this show. the amount men know about the female body is like zero. Like, I mean, and this is just another example.
This is not- I'm saying, do you think that's what they're asking? Are they asking like, did they come out and you were like, oh my God, there's two. Is that what they're asking?
That's the only explanation to the question to me. Like, do you ask them? Do you say, hey, did you think that like people are surprised by having twins? Did you like question them or you were like, I'll have the bread, please. Can you please bring us more hot sauce to the waiter?
Like, were you like, I was like, yeah, we, we were expecting them. I'm like, I just, I don't know. Like, I don't even know what the, I don't want to get into it.
Right, well, if you get into it anymore, yeah, we were expecting them. We flew to Ohio to get one of them. You know, we were kind of expecting that. But in this scenario, yeah, of course we were expecting them.
With the second time someone asked, and Mike was like, people ask me that all the time because he speaks to more men than I do.
I would assume.
But with the second guy, he was like, Mike wasn't, he was there, he was like looking at something and I was speaking. He's like, were you expecting them? And I was like, yeah, we did IVF. So we knew. And he was like, and when I said that to him, he stopped asking any more questions. I don't think he had any idea what I was talking about.
He didn't know what IBF was. I mean, that's a version saying we did IBF and not shaming him is a version of like coddling a man's ego a little bit, right? Isn't that like what a annoying person would say? I guess. Do you know those people that are like, you know, I don't know. There's like a term for it. Where it's like you're helping a man, you know, be an idiot.
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Chapter 4: What should you do if you discover your partner's infidelity?
I guess I would want to pull. I'm not offended by any questions. I'm just kind of like wondering, like, I just don't even know how to answer the question.
I think we need more information as a podcast. I need to know, like, did you believe that people are shocked to find out they have twins as they're going through pregnancy? My response would be a question. Do you believe that there are people out there who are shocked by twins during the delivery? Like, that's what I would ask.
Yeah, I guess I'll have to ask that.
But I also think that now you're... Again, that's a longer conversation with the waiter than I would ever want to have.
Right, that's what I'm saying. Now I'm like getting into it. So I think I'm just going to say like, Yes.
I, I'm trying to think if I would think like, I'm trying to think if I'm, if I would ever think that, that people would be so, I would think that people could be surprised by a second child in a pregnancy, but I would think earlier. Yeah. Again, like I, I'm not saying I'm above these people who are asking this question, but I would hope that I wouldn't believe it was the norm that,
Like, I don't think it's that, like the idea that you asked that as if it's like a 50-50 shot is crazy.
Right. It just doesn't make any sense to me. I guess it's the kind of thing where it's like people maybe are just trying to ask something.
Right. They're trying to fill the air. Well, it's kind of like one of, it's one of those things that like, when you hear someone ask that, you're like, how does anyone have, like when you hear people get involved in debates about like, You know, whenever I hear that like, let's keep the government away from women's bodies.
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Chapter 5: How do societal expectations influence dating behavior?
Yeah. You know, like, I'm such a... I'm such a, like, a not-get-involved-with-those-issues guy. Do you know what I mean? Like, not that I'm, like, on... Those are women's issues.
Right. No, I think that's rightfully so. You're kind of like, I don't know anything about this issue. I'm not going to... Not my opinion isn't that important here.
I kind of have this, I have this kind of thing with my standup. I, you know, when I first started standup, I would try to talk about like issues or, you know, I try to get involved and, Because you want to like have a voice. And I think it's a young guy thing to do. And over the course of doing stand-up, I really feel good about only saying I, me, I, like sticking to I statements.
And I think that's harder to do as a standup because if you say men do this, you're almost like taking yourself out of it. You're now employing the group and saying we all do this. But if I say I do this thing that's uncomfortable, now I have to own it and I have to trust that you'll do the bridging to the group of men on your own or to your husband or to your boyfriend.
And it is generally, I think it's a lesson for life that like when you say I versus we, it's harder to do. Yeah. You know, and if I can't do I, then I don't do the joke. Like, That's why like when I see people talk about like trans issues on stage and there's no reason for them to talk about it, I'm kind of like you're a hot take artist and you're using this group to get off, to make money.
Like it's kind of gross to me.
Because you don't know anything about it. Right.
I had a joke that a woman got mad about. And it was about, she said that I was making fun of Asians. And like, I was in no way made, like she was drunk and I disagree with her. And the joke I made was that like, I was talking about my body and like how I'm on a GLP-1. And how I don't, like, I just, I never thought of myself needing medication for my body.
You know, like, and how I'm so, my fitness goals, like, at 41 are, like, just so modest. I was like, I just want the same body as, like, an older Asian man. Like, I feel like they have, like, the perfect t-shirt body. And it's like, I didn't come to that. just to talk about Asians.
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Chapter 6: What are the signs of weaponized incompetence in relationships?
I think she did let it go. I thought it was prudent to take one shot at getting this picture removed without making it everyone's problem. It's neither petty or prudent. I think her action of reporting it is justified, but not prudent. She didn't have to do it, but I also don't think it's petty of her to do.
Okay. What if she commented on the picture?
Hey, everybody, this is my dog. Yeah, that'd be petty.
Hey, everybody, this is my dog. And he's a huge loser.
Right.
Hey, it's really weird that this is your profile picture. This is my, this is like my dog and we're broken up. Would that be petty or prudent?
That'd be petty. It's just funny to me that she could be walking her dog and someone would be like, Is that Frank's dog? What's he, are you guys back together? Like that's kind of, I don't know. People, no one cares.
Let's say you and Emily break up. What? She puts a picture of her and your mom up as her profile picture.
Her and my mom or her and my cell phone?
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Chapter 7: How can you navigate the complexities of breakup emotions?
I'd let it go. And I'd be like, you were like, you were like, I don't think you can talk to right Ruthie anymore. Right. If that's what she needs, I would let it go. You're right. I, I guess, you know, it's funny. Maybe I'm influenced by his looks as well. Like his smirk with the dog is so shit eating that it just feels like such a, it does feel more devious. Right.
And I'm happy she sent me the pictures. She asked us not to share the pictures, but it is like,
He looks like the villain in like a fraternity comedy.
He looks like the villain from Elle Woods. He looks like the ex-boyfriend that went to Harvard.
Yeah.
All right, let's do another email. You ready?
That was a fun one.
That was a good one. Music Festival. Music Festival.
I've never heard that. It sounds like I think of like Hamilton.
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Chapter 8: What lessons can be learned from the stories shared in this episode?
I don't think she needs to be told anything.
She was literally the one telling him to end it with you so that they could be in a relationship. I mean, that's... Of the series of options.
No, they've been dating for a long time.
Right. He was telling her that it was over between you guys and you still, you're together, but you haven't slept together in a month and the relationship was gone. And now he's moved on to her and she's happy to have him. She doesn't care that he's a cheater. And she'll maybe or maybe not find out the hard way. Maybe they end up together married and this is their story.
And you're just a character that they talk about with their kids and they're like, yeah, I used to date this old woman and she was all angry about it at stagecoach while we were falling in love. Maybe you're talked about in a way that would horrify you. But And probably so. But this relationship, you going and telling her will not be, I don't know. She already knows, my friend. She already knows.
To me, you're at the party too long and everyone's trying to go to bed and you're wondering, should I stay for another drink? And it's like, get out of that party. Leave.
Yeah. I mean, it sucks. I'm sorry you were cheated on. That's really annoying. And it's very painful to be to have a breakup and then see pictures of someone of your ex in a new relationship the very same day. But that is what happens when someone is cheating and has an, it's basically in two relationships at the same time.
Right. And, and to like, kind of like talk about this email a little bit deeper and to like give her the hard truth and love, like we're being jokey a little bit, like, I'm sorry you were cheated on, but like, if you're with someone and, And you're arguing with them while looking at Instagram stories of – from another woman that you assume he's dating. And –
seeing him in those pictures and then seeing that they've now gotten in a relationship after that whole weekend, I think you need to like readjust your bearings. Like, I don't think you're. Yeah. How did you get here? How did you get here? Right, right, right, right, right. Like, I mean, it's easy to be like, he's cheating. He's an asshole. They're together. She knew about it.
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