Train Your Brain To Thrive Through Menopause
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What is practical optimism and how does it differ from toxic positivity?
I want to be clear that what optimism is not. Telling someone, just look on the bright side, right? That's what we often associate with optimism. Yeah. Everything will work itself out. That seems toxic to me. 100%, right? That is toxic positivity. Telling someone to look on the bright side without first understanding the depths and the gravity of what they have been through, right? Like that to me is dismissive at best or toxic positivity at worst. Optimism simply says that there is the potential for good things to happen, right? And practical optimism says let's turn those positive outlooks into positive outcomes through action.
The views and opinions expressed on Unpaused are those of the talent and guests alone and are provided for informational and entertainment purposes only. No part of this podcast or any related materials are intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. My guest today is Dr. Sue Varma, one of the foremost mental health authorities in the country. And I have been wanting to have this conversation for a long time. Dr. Varma is a board-certified psychiatrist, cognitive behavioral therapist, couples therapist, and psychopharmacologist in private practice in Manhattan, and a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at NYU Langone. She is also a distinguished fellow of the American Psychiatric Association, which is the highest distinction that organization bestows.
And she is the author of Practical Optimism, The Art, Science, and Practice of Exceptional Well-Being. Before any of that, she was the founding medical director of the World Trade Center Mental Health Program at NYU Langone.
Why are women often undertreated during menopause?
She sat with civilian survivors and first responders across every point in the trauma continuum, from complete devastation to some of the most remarkable resilience she has ever witnessed. And she started asking a question that I think about in my own practice. Why do some people thrive despite profound adversity? And what exactly are they doing that others are not? That question is why she's here today. Because I see this in my clinic every single day. Women navigating one of the most significant biological transitions of their lives, often without any support, often having been dismissed for years and being told that what they're experiencing is all in their heads. And here is what I cannot stop thinking about.
Same labs, same symptoms. And while some of them are falling apart, others are still standing, still building, still showing up fully for their lives. I want to know what is in their toolkits. And then I want to figure out how to give it to every woman who walks through my door. I'm Dr. Mary Claire Haver, a board-certified obstetrician and gynecologist and certified menopause practitioner. I'm also an adjunct professor of obstetrics and gynecology at the University of Texas Medical Branch. Welcome to Unpaused, the podcast where we cut through the silence and talk about what it really takes to thrive in the second half of life. Starting something new will always feel uncomfortable. I don't care how accomplished you are, how much experience you have, or how ready you think you should feel.
When I first stepped into building something of my own, I had all the same thoughts so many women have. What if I fail? What if it's too soon?
What role do genetics play in optimism?
But I learned that confidence doesn't come before the decision. It comes after you take the first step. That's exactly why Shopify is such an incredible resource for entrepreneurs. If you have an idea you keep thinking about, this is your sign to stop overcomplicating it and just begin. Shopify gives you one place to run your business without feeling overwhelmed by all the moving parts. They handle everything from inventory to shipping and returns. So instead of juggling multiple platforms, you can actually stay focused on building something that matters to you. And honestly, having that kind of support makes taking the leap feel a whole lot less intimidating. Their platform is incredibly easy to use, especially with their design studio that helps you build a store that looks exactly how you envisioned it.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is practical optimism and how does it differ from toxic positivity?
0:00–1:52
2
Why are women often undertreated during menopause?
1:52–3:36
3
What role do genetics play in optimism?
3:36–5:29
4
How can women build resilience during menopause?
5:29–6:39
5
What are the eight pillars of practical optimism?
6:39–8:03
6
How can mindfulness techniques help during menopause?
8:03–9:40
7
What strategies can help combat loneliness in midlife?
9:40–10:50
8
How can women reclaim their sense of agency during menopause?
10:50–1:36:48
Speakers
2 identifiedMore from unPAUSED with Dr. Mary Claire Haver
Menopause Masterclass: Why Your Hair Is Thinning and What Works
Melinda French Gates Is Fighting to Close the Menopause Funding Gap
Testosterone Is Not a Male Hormone: Levels, Dosing, and What It Does During Menopause
Dr. Mary Claire Haver on Menopause: Recorded Live from LA with Dr. Rena Malik
Listen Again: Build Strength, Live Longer: The Menopause Longevity Blueprint with Dr. Vonda Wright
How to Get What You Need From a 15-Minute Doctor's Appointment with Dr. Lucy McBride