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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202

03 Mar 2025

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is the Unsubscribe Podcast doing at the Pentagon?

69.696 - 74.177 Brandon Herrera

And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile and wonder, how did I get here?

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74.197 - 84.02 The Fat Electrician

So are we. And Nick, what were you saying earlier? Or Brandon, we were like kind of semi-comedians who were just doing shows and then suddenly.

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84.18 - 94.703 Brandon Herrera

Yeah, we were like a couple episodes ago. It's like, oh, it feels like a couple episodes ago. We're just doing random like local stand-up comedian friends of ours. And now we're in the Pentagon.

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95.336 - 101.918 Unknown Speaker

Not only are we in the Pentagon, we're one of the only people to get authorization to drink in the Pentagon?

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102.218 - 103.558 Eli Doubletap

There was a whole process, apparently.

104.218 - 107.379 Brandon Herrera

A lot of paperwork to get this case of White Claw here.

108.439 - 113.921 Unknown Speaker

These might be the first White Claws ever drank in the Pentagon. I think that's what they told us. We might be making history.

115.421 - 117.522 Brandon Herrera

I'm so sorry. With that being said...

121.509 - 124.891 Eli Doubletap

What the fuck are we doing, guys? So it's just a normal box.

Chapter 2: How did the gang manage to drink White Claw at the Pentagon?

602.553 - 610.538 Sergeant Major Stevens

Yeah, yeah. Shout out, Tyler, Sugar Free, Stevens. Based out of Birmingham, Spartan Fitness. Nice.

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611.139 - 614.181 Brandon Herrera

I see that the family Cool Ass Nicknames has kind of been passed on.

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614.221 - 615.141 Sergeant Major Stevens

You saw that, right?

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615.201 - 621.786 Unknown Speaker

Sugar Free is an awesome nickname. Could you imagine having to fight somebody whose nickname was Sugar? That'd be hilarious.

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622.626 - 628.17 Brandon Herrera

That's what? Yeah. Yo, Sucralose, get over here. Good old Stevia Johnson. Yeah.

633.277 - 638.461 Unknown Speaker

So your son wants to fight in the octagon. You work at the Pentagon. Any other significant shapes in the family?

640.202 - 645.405 Sergeant Major Stevens

Man, you caught me off guard with that. Because my youngest son plays college basketball. So, I mean, that's a rectangle.

646.046 - 647.567 Brandon Herrera

But you used to play in a diamond, though.

649.808 - 654.932 Sergeant Major Stevens

Very good. I like that. Might need to bring you into the Army G1. That's just dad jokes. Yeah.

Chapter 3: What are the funniest military experiences shared by the gang?

5283.465 - 5285.627 Brandon Herrera

Is that approval? We can get a copy of that?

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5286.047 - 5289.129 Dave Butler

There it is. Can we get four?

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5289.189 - 5289.849 Unknown Speaker

Can we read it?

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5290.009 - 5290.229 Dave Butler

Yeah.

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5290.63 - 5295.713 Unknown Speaker

I was an electrician three years ago, and now the Pentagon's making exceptions for me to come be an idiot.

5296.113 - 5299.375 Dave Butler

Yeah, that's right. But I mean, honestly, the scent...

5300.649 - 5303.61 Eli Doubletap

Just going that through. Sir, can you sign this?

5304.55 - 5323.935 Dave Butler

Huh? Why? It took a little explanation. I think we're hosting an event. Is that what this is? We're hosting an event that serves alcohol. We did it. Approximately 12 White Claws. I think it says 8 on the memo. 8 White Claws.

5323.975 - 5331.695 Unknown Speaker

The infamous White Claw 8 pack. Available at every gas station. Don't ask questions.

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