Unwise Girls

140: The Secret Origins of Task Force X!

22 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Sword of Summer, ch. 65 to 70 This week on Unwise Girls, we must make peace with the fact that sometimes things that are good... are worse. After ...

139: Misogyny-Sized Wolf

15 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Sword of Summer, ch. 59 to 64 This week on Unwise Girls, we're nearing the end!!! What's gonna happen? Well, before we find out, we've gotta start...

138: Rules for Dating my Teenage Frost Giantesses

01 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Sword of Summer, ch. 53 to 58 As one glorious, awful battle does not a victory secure in the grand tapestry of war, so too does this glorious, awf...

137: Lost in the Memes Mine

24 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Sword of Summer, ch. 47 to 52 This week on Unwise Girls ... are you ready to try and fit themes in a goat? How many can YOU fit in there? My recor...

136: Tefli and Kefli

10 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Sword of Summer, ch. 41 to 46 Oops, Extra Life hit hard! Still and despite everything, this week on Unwise Girls we talk about comedic old guys an...

135: Metamorphosis (Freya's Version)

03 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Sword of Summer, ch. 35 to 40 This week on Unwise Girls we talk about Rick Riordan's lush locations, the differing ways one can be pushed into hom...

134: Edit Out Those Whiskers!

27 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Sword of Summer, ch. 29 to 34 (cw: discussion of incest) After our sick week, we've returned with the first real portion of this book's main adven...

133: Elves These Days

14 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Sword of Summer, ch. 23 to 28 Hey, isn't this a bit like YuYu Hakusho? Like, with Yusuke, and seeing his own dead body and stuff... Well, here's h...

132: The God of Rational Centrism

06 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Sword of Summer, ch. 19 to 22 This week on Unwise Girls, we're a bit lower energy but no less enthusiastic for this book than we have been! This w...

131: Miku Binder Thomas Jefferson, Jr.

30 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Sword of Summer, ch. 13 to 18 (cw for discussion of suicide and sexual assault) This week on Unwise Girls, we take a deeper look into the life and...

130: Looking a Bit Saxony

22 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Sword of Summer, ch. 7 to 12 This week on Unwise Girls, we discuss a new proposal for Rick Riordan ghostwriter theory, how Magnus's narrative voic...

129: A Tale of Tip and Tang

16 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Sword of Summer, ch. 1 to 6 Set your longships ablaze, we're going a-viking! This week we're starting The Sword of Summer, the first book in Rick ...

128: Your Brain on Hetero

09 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Demigods and Magicians On this momentous day of Jane's birthday, we also celebrate our very first ever crossover book, Demigods and Magicians! It's th...

127: Mementos for Zigzog

02 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Heroes of Olympus retrospective After over a year of flying along with these funny kids on their silly dragon boat, Jane and Jacqueline have final...

126: A Beautiful Baby Chuck

25 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Blood of Olympus, ch. 53 to 58 Prophecy has long foretold that when the Earth falls and fire explodes in the sky... basically nothing will change ...

125: Unwise Zeus

19 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Blood of Olympus, ch. 49 to 52 In the penultimate episode of our coverage of The Blood of Olympus, we find ourselves at odds once again. Passivity...

124: The Riordan Repeat

12 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Blood of Olympus, ch. 45 to 48 The Unwise Girls have finally reached Camp Half-Blood, only to find that it's surrounded by... fantasy racism? Well...

123: Chekhov's Goo

04 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Blood of Olympus, ch. 41 to 44! Now that Jacqueline's trapped in a dank, dark basement, she's had plenty of time to read the chapters and contend ...

122: The Unicorn Draft

29 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Blood of Olympus, ch. 37 to 40! (cw for descriptions of animal injury and a brief mention of sexual assault) Wow, it's Unwise Girls, after all thi...

121: Doctor BAMF

21 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Blood of Olympus, ch. 33 to 36! This week on Unwise Girls, we immediately solve the greatest mystery in the whole of Heroes of Olympus! Then we di...

120: Send This Boo Boo Bryce To The Shadow Realm

14 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Blood of Olympus, ch. 27 to 32 This week on Unwise Girls, we talk about the different degrees of deadly, pontifex progression, a whole slew of dea...

119: Femcel Sweet Femcel

07 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Blood of Olympus, ch. 21 to 26 Hey hey hey, it's Unwise Girls proper once more! This week, we start off with some mic teasing before discussing Pe...

Unwise Thems (SHOW SWAP) - The Golden Compass - Chapter 12

01 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It's showswap! Today on Unwise Girls, there are 75% less girls! Audrey and Riley a here from Riley Hopkins & Their Amazing Friends and Alone At Th...

118: The Bond/Shaw Binary

23 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Blood of Olympus, ch. 15 to 20 Oops, we started the episode by talking about pictures of Rick Riordan for a while. Well, there's other podcasts ou...

117: Uncle Ricky

16 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Blood of Olympus, ch. 9 to 14 This week on Unwise Girls, we talk about how often the gods are reduced to jokes instead of threats, favorite Doctor...

116: Catholic Blogging Blues

10 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Blood of Olympus, ch. 5 to 8 Ough. This week on Unwise Girls, our brains are... a bit fuzzy, but we're still trying to keep the faith up. We discu...

115: His Odyssey Home

02 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Blood of Olympus, ch. 1 to 4 (sorry for microphone quality again folks. podcasting machine broke) Eh? I can't hear you, sonny, speak up! This week...

114: Coming Out of the Dark

27 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The House of Hades, ch. 75 to 78 Through the darkness of the House of Hades and Tartarus far below we finally emerge, and we're faced with the light a...

113: The Buffett Torment Elevator

20 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The House of Hades, ch. 69 to 74 (cw: discussions of abuse, sexual assault and bestiality) It's a major week for Unwise Girls as Rick Riordan pays off...

112: Just Six Days From Retirement

12 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The House of Hades, ch. 63 to 68 This week on Unwise Girls, we talk about emotional edging, Tartarus (the guy), the return of just three rooms, Coach ...

111: Dude, You Were Born This Way!

05 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The House of Hades, ch. 57 to 62 Wow! Right as Rick Riordan releases the much-anticipated The Sun and the Star, the Unwise Girls finally arrive at the...

110: Leov Island

28 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The House of Hades, ch. 51 to 56 This week on Unwise Girls, we talk about Goofy Nyx, tourists, the river that makes you feel bad, Titan speedrun strat...

109: A Real Dog of a Bloke

22 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The House of Hades, ch. 45 to 50 This week on Unwise Girls, we talk about darksided beans, the ones who walk away from Akhlys, ugly woman shields, why...

108: Pregnant Chuck Norris

14 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The House of Hades, ch. 39 to 44 Zoo wee mama, I suppose it's time for us to talk about the House of Hades again, huh? Well, if you can believe it, it...

107: Nico the Ninth

07 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The House of Hades, ch. 33 to 38 It's a monumental episode of Unwise Girls! This week, Rick Riordan becomes the world's greatest ally, we really inves...

106: Sciron's Soles

31 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The House of Hades, ch. 27 to 32 It's a bit of a weird one this week on Unwise Girls! We talk about the sad passing of Lance Reddick, our plans for on...

105: Deppification

25 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The House of Hades, ch. 21 to 26 This week on Unwise Girls, we spend a lot of time with our buddy Bob as the journey through Tartarus continues. We ta...

104: Blep Incorporation

18 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The House of Hades, ch. 17 to 20 Who's that voice in the back of your mind... singing Confederate anthems? Yikes! This week on Unwise Girls, we talk a...

103: The Kronos Particle

10 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The House of Hades, ch. 13 to 16 What the hell? It's a new Unwise Girls! This week we talk about developing a brand new concept for a Greek mythology-...

102: Neptune's Little Trident

03 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The House of Hades, ch. 7 to 12 The long, dark trek through The House of Hades has barely even begun. Need a little bit of easy listening to get you t...

101: Farting Animal Noises

25 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The House of Hades, ch. 1 to 6 After our wacky detour to a Camp Half-Blood filled with creeps and ghouls, we return for a brand new book! This week, t...

Unwise Girls Play: Sleepaway Part 1

17 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Camp Half-Blood's Hermes cabin are engaging in a friendly practice game of Capture the Flag - it's a teambuilding exercise, although the exasperated P...

Unwise Girls Play: Sleepaway Part 0

17 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Back in October, Moonshot did a 24-hour live stream to raise money for the Children's Miracle Network Hospitals. One of the donation incentives was fo...

100: The Big One (Zero Zero)

10 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Mark of Athena, ch. 49 to 52 It's not just the end of a book - it's the end of an era as we close out the first two years and one hundred episodes...

99: Wonder Bread and Circuses

03 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Mark of Athena, ch. 45 to 48 Make way, citizens of Rome, for the procession towards the Colosseum! This week, the Unwise Girls are talking about R...

98: Lance's Big Smooth Head

27 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Mark of Athena, ch. 41 to 44 There was a story your dad told you, once. It's sort of hazy after all of these years, sure, but doesn't it still liv...

97: The Leo Valdez Praise Hour

21 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Mark of Athena, ch. 37 to 40 This week, our favourite Hero of Olympus has his final, glorious moment in the spotlight for this book, and he spends...

96: Lost Mine of MacGyver

13 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Mark of Athena, ch. 33 to 36 Oh no, that horrible crawling thing with eight legs, could it be...? That's right, it's Unwise Girls! We're back in t...

95: Approved by the Dolphin Board

06 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Mark of Athena, ch. 29 to 32 Mama mia, it's-a Italy! This week, the Unwise Girls are here - some crunchier than others - to talk about GF POV, Ric...

94: Chad v Incel: A Dissection

31 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Mark of Athena, ch. 25 to 28 Is that the Rock of Gibraltar I see? Ah, no, it's this week's episode of Unwise Girls! As our heroes finally reach th...

93: Certified Gank Moment

24 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Mark of Athena, ch. 21 to 24 Glub glub, we're fishin' for the big one this week on Unwise Girls! As our group of intrepid New Neo Civil War collab...

92: Riordan's Trick

17 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Mark of Athena, ch. 17 to 20 Okay... so, this week on Unwise Girls, I guess we talk about who the Leo of the podcast is, the return of Buford, sea...

91: Phorskin

09 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Mark of Athena, ch. 13 to 16 Uh oh, the Unwise Girls are back with another episode! After a bit of self-reflection on what makes this podcast spec...

90: The Astounding Adventures of Lightning Boy

02 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Mark of Athena, ch. 9 to 12 Time to pay the Piper! This week on Unwise Girls's consistently impressed adventure through Mark of Athena, we talk ab...

89: Heterosexuality Affirmations

26 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Mark of Athena, ch. 5 to 8 Well, it's the second set of chapters, which - based on the past five or so books we've read - means it's time for us t...

88: Mommy's Chaste Era

19 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Mark of Athena, ch. 1 to 4 Ahoy and good tidings, listeners! This week the Unwise Girls begin our third reading of the Sea of Monst- uh, sorry, no...

87: Goated with the Nog

13 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Demigod Diaries In maybe the longest yet recorded episode of Unwise Girls, we take a break before starting on our next big novel to instead cover ...

86: Et Tu, Jacqueline?

04 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Son of Neptune, ch. 49 to 52 Despite our high hopes for this book coming off of The Lost Hero, The Son of Neptune has come to a sputtering end and...

85: Bird-Related Skill Issue

29 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Son of Neptune, ch. 45 to 48 Just like Frank's firewood, we're not feeling too hot about these chapters, and we're not going especially long eithe...

Nectar of the Pods: Episode 15 - HerculE3!

21 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Hercules (1997 film) hey folks!!! jacqueline here, i got really sick this week and my voice died so we couldn't record - so here's a bonus episode we ...

84: The Denarii Mac

15 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Son of Neptune, ch. 41 to 44 This week on Unwise Girls, we talk about Hazel's final POV chapters, our theories on if the Mark of Athena will start...

83: Frank Ocean's Eleven

07 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Son of Neptune, ch. 37 to 40 (sorry for the audio troubles this week, folks! jane's using a new laptop and due to this-and-that some of her words ...

82: The Most Cishet Boy Alive

30 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Son of Neptune, ch. 33 to 36 It's basically all Frank Zhang for the Unwise Girls this week, folks! After a quick detour to the land of new release...

81: Nathan Femillion

24 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Son of Neptune, ch. 29 to 32 This week on Unwise Girls, we talk about the road trip format wearing thin, femdom Amazon, Jane's special tips for di...

80: Oh, Fiddlestyx

17 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Son of Neptune, ch. 25 to 28 On this week's episode of Unwise Girls, we talk teaser trailers, Frank's first step into entering the pickup artist c...

79: Bad Dragon Grandpa

09 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Son of Neptune, ch. 21 to 24 (cw: we tell detailed stories about wasp encounters in this one) This week's episode of Unwise Girls is very special ...

78: Weetawhatzits

03 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Son of Neptune, ch. 17 to 20 On this week's Unwise Girls, we cover one of the most chilling chapters yet... heh, well... see, okay, so it's Alaska...

77: Blasting Absolute Bolts

27 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Son of Neptune, ch. 13 to 16 This week on Unwise Girls, we talk about the lore behind our cover art, cringefail Carthage, Grover entering his down...

76: Frank's Victory Royale

19 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Son of Neptune, ch. 9 to 12 This week, on a very special episode of Unwise Girls, we have an in-depth conversation about those who died to protect...

75: A Sketchpad, Colored Pencils, and Some Rope

05 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Son of Neptune, ch. 5 to 8 So like, this week on Unwise Girls we definitely do try our best to talk about Hazel Levesque - who we do genuinely tot...

74: Percy Goes to Camp Jupiter...

30 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Son of Neptune, ch. 1 to 4 ...to get more stupider!!!! This week, all roads lead to New Rome, and the Unwise Girls dive through these opening chap...

73: Antebellum Agony

23 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Lost Hero, ch. 52 to 56 This week, on the long anticipated finale of The Lost Hero, Jane gets musical, Piper finally self-actualizes, the episodic...

72: More Like Jerk London

16 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Lost Hero, ch. 47 to 51 This week on Unwise Girls, our three part Lost Hero Finale Bonanza continues with a special five chapter episode as we get...

71: Ceci n'est pas Gleeson Hedge

09 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Lost Hero, ch. 41 to 46 This week on Unwise Girls, we begin our Lost Hero Three Part Finale Bonanza with a special six chapter episode where we di...

70: And Now, the Weather

01 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Lost Hero, ch. 37 to 40 This week on Unwise Girls, Jacqueline and Jane have a pretty good time as Aeolus realizes the suffering is, in fact, never...

69: The Valdez Numeral

25 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Lost Hero, ch. 33 to 36 On this most special of weeks, the Unwise Girls talk about Leo getting all hot and bothered, Piper getting cold and unburd...

68: Radio Free Unwise Girls

18 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Lost Hero, ch. 29 to 32 Bzzt... Bzzt... Have we tuned into the right station? This is Unwise Girls, and we're trying to deliver an unbiased messag...

67: Simping at Macy's

11 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Lost Hero, ch. 25 to 28 This week the Unwise Girls talk about a nicely done do-over, the logistics of vegan tacos, how scary it is to be seen, Jan...

66: Florida Men and Small Business Owners

04 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Lost Hero, ch. 21 to 24 This episode is mainly just about a really cool fight and everything else is pretty much tangential, but I'll give you the...

65: Slide Romevolution

27 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Lost Hero, ch. 17 to 20 This week on Unwise Girls - cough, cough... sorry, someone's a bit sick in the studio today! Regardless, this week the Unw...

64: Big Puppy Grindset

21 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Episode Notes The Lost Hero, ch. 13 to 16 This week the newly networked Unwise Girls suffer from the Curse of Hypnos as we - a Jacqueline fresh off a ...

63: Based and Gaiapilled

14 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Lost Hero, ch. 9 to 12 On this week's episode of Unwise Girls, we start off by discussing the racist backlash to Leah Jeffries being cast as Annab...

62: Sleebygender

06 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Lost Hero, ch. 5 to 8This week, the Unwise Girls round out the main cast of The Lost Hero by finally reading some chapters from Leo's perspective....

61: First Piper Shooter

29 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Lost Hero, ch. 1 to 4Huh? The Camp Half-Blood Chronicles? Sorry, I don't remember it... But I guess if you say I do a podcast about it, I should a...

60: Dear Percy Jackson

22 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Lightning Thief musical After an unfortunate week off due to horrible computer breakage, the glitz and glamor of the stage come to bear on Unwise...

59: The Pain Chronicles

09 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Kane Chronicles retrospectiveHey everyone, editor and host Jacqueline here for a little bit of realtalk. Do you know what happens to you when you ...

58: Happy Grover Week

01 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Serpent's Shadow, ch. 20 to 22 It's #GroverWeek, so let's celebrate our favorite satyr boy by talking about our favorite #AuthenticGroverMoments!...

57: They Punch for a Bit

25 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

(cw: discussion of lynching imagery from 37:00 to 37:50)The Serpent's Shadow, ch. 16 to 19This week, there were no mishaps before recording that made ...

56: Boyfriend Fusion Dance

20 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Serpent's Shadow, ch. 12 to 15 It's a brand new episode of Unwise Girls, and this time we're - well, actually, we still like it. Hooray! Join us ...

55: He's Still Got It

11 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Serpent's Shadow, ch. 9 to 11Joy to the world! It's the one year anniversary episode(ish) of Unwise Girls! And hey, guess what, just as a treat to...

54: Leave Room for Shu

05 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Serpent's Shadow, ch. 5 to 8As women of a diminished wisdom, we often find ourselves engaging in conversations airy and nonsensical. This week, th...

53: Double Exile Any% Speedrun

26 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Serpent's Shadow, ch. 1 to 4 We start off positive this week with a quick review of the new Percy Jackson & the Olympians cover illustrations...

52: Zebras and Weasels and Snakes, Oh My!

20 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Throne of Fire, ch. 21 to 24The Throne of Fire is over! What did we think of it? Well, this week on Unwise Girls, we answer that question and more...

51: Tawaret Titty Trance

12 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Throne of Fire, ch. 17 to 20What kind of hat's on your head? This week on Unwise Girls, we get into the worst things to wear to the supermarket, f...

50: The Ptah in Our Stars

05 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Throne of Fire, ch. 13 to 16Hey! It's a podcast! This week the Unwise Girls take you through the libidinous benefits of genetic diseases, the most...

49: Why I Oughta... OOF!

29 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Throne of Fire, ch. 9 to 12Hey, remember how the last four chapters were pretty great? They're not as great anymore, but, like, whatever, we'll de...

48: The World's Greatest Ally

22 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Throne of Fire, ch. 5 to 8The Unwise Girls return with the best Kane Chronicles chapters yet! Hell yeah! But also there's a pretty big problem in ...

47: Brooklynhaus

15 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Throne of Fire, ch. 1 to 4Patterns emerge as the Unwise Girls decide once more to read... a book in The Kane Chronicles by Rick Riordan? I dunno, ...

46: I Slowly Shrink and Transform Into a Fruit Bat

08 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Red Pyramid, ch. 38 to 41Hey, The Red Pyramid is over, Unwise Girls enthusiasts! You know what that means... it's time to talk about messy but lar...

45: Meat Stalactite

01 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The Red Pyramid, ch. 33 to 37 Happy New Year, Riordanheads! This week, the Unwise Girls are talking about ultraviolence inflicted upon dough, Set fir...