Chapter 1: How can I handle burnout and mental spirals?
The devil in Ohio.
Like, I am coming to the cottage. I'm coming to the cottage. I'm coming to the cottage.
Skibbity Riz, Ohio. Right. Sigma, Alpha, and Omega. And Omega. Yeah.
Like what she said. Brain rot. Brain rot. I'll show you fucking... Bitch, I'm coming to the cottage and the cottage was like a fucking... When you start Googling... Yeah. Hey, can I talk to y'all? Hey, can I talk to y'all?
Chapter 2: What unique ingredients are in Subway's special mayo?
When you start Googling depression symptoms, has anyone ever done that? Also, I just found out that we're in like a shadow period or something.
Yeah. The girls are my DMs. It's giving shadowy. Also, you guys, I drank this. First off, do we read a Barbells ad? No. Can I tell you that Barbells has me like...
girl i'm trying to like go to your cottage because yesterday we did a live stream and i the choco milk drink i drank when i also had a subway sandwich i don't give a fuck about the yoga mat shit like i don't genuinely the flatbread was one of the best things y'all had okay and i try to do the multi-grain bread i don't fuck with it i'm not doing the urban cheese so it's just like subway what the hell we gonna do now we're gonna have to figure it out
doesn't matter because um everyone was scared for me when i was gonna have the chocolate milk and actually i was fine that's awesome let's go back to depression well do we want to go back to there no um no that's awesome and honestly i kind of want to try one but i'm like what's the protein but no for depression's sake um she's canceled can we say depression's canceled
No, like, Vin knew that.
Well, it's also not canceled. It actually comes back with the fierceness. That's very serious.
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Chapter 3: What happened with the cheating Olympian?
But raise your hand if you've ever been depressed. But also, like, raise your hand if you're never depressed. Because, like, low-key, this one... Like, I was scared. Raise your hand if you were scared. Like, guys, if you actually, genuinely, if, like, my therapist put a ring camera in my room the last, like, two weeks, she would have, I would have been, I would have been taken.
I would have gone to the cottage.
I mean, there's so many things that can, like, onset depression. Like, for me, I didn't get really bad depression until, I mean, I had my first, like, depression spiral in college. But that was kind of due to, like, circumstances of, like, I was overworked. Definitely not getting fucking paid by...
my scam ass fucking college I went to fucking Christian girl autumn ass college where they were coming to the church no I'm going to the church where they're literally gonna work me fucking grind and bone bitch in the name of in the name of who in the name of in the name of in the name of fucking y'all know who y'all are in the name of the Kardashians that they were hosting and Justin Bieber and Hailey I don't want to go there but one day we will um
With that being said, I like had my first like, you know, burnout, bad burnout. But I will say when I started doing social media full time, I experienced like a longer term depression. I think also, too, when you get into your like mid like early mid 20s.
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Chapter 4: How do emotions impact our physical health?
your body changes a lot bro like your hormones change so fucking much like my hormones change so much and like that's when like my pmdd like i mean i've always had pmdd but it was like really fucking ramped up um and also just i mean so many things this job is like though I'm not doing extraneous labor, but to be in this industry, mentally, it's a lot.
And then it's just when other shit outside of work is happening,
set that bitch off a little boozy side no and i can only hope like i can genuinely only hope that um my hope is that it is a a circumstantial um because the real tea is like i'm usually like serving you hyperactive tea my anxiety is future forward i don't usually have anxiety looking back Do you know what I mean?
Of like the shit, like genuinely guys, like I actually hit, I forgot what it was called on WebMD when I, of course, like I, now that I'm coming to, I literally was like, whoa, what was that? And how did we never fucking do that again? Like that was scary. But you know, major depressive episode is what, is what they would call it on the internet and things.
And some of the symptoms literally being like rumination, guilt, unnecessary guilt, baby girl, baby girls, baby girls and baby days and baby guys. genuinely experienced crippling ruminations. Like genuinely experienced crippling bitch they took me back to the school ground like I astral projected and like actually was trying to like fade myself.
Like it was actually scary and like honestly like, you know, as we... are grateful for the full range of the human experience. And like, you know what I mean?
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Chapter 5: What are effective strategies for managing anxiety?
Like you always need to see the dark to recognize the dawn, like genuinely was in the sun can play so fiercely that it like brought me back to the realization that the only thing we have is now. Okay. So like, just remember all we have is now it's all we can control. And like how that is like genuinely like, 30 seconds.
That is the best and the worst part of this life is the fact that genuinely, if you're at home, I'm like this, if you're at home feeling X, Y, Z, feeling horrible, maybe you fucking like tripped your best friend and she broke her fucking tooth last week. And like, you just sick. Like you just like, why would I fucking like try to do a coffee grinder in the mall? And then my friend lost her tooth.
I don't know. I don't know.
genuinely like the best the most beautiful and also the most depressing part of life and usually this part of life makes me depressed but that's on my like future forward anxiety is that baby this shit impermanent yeah every single thing in life is impermanent every single thing passes like genuinely was so in the trenches this last two weeks that like you know when you get like so sick like mentally ill that you start like laughing at yourself almost like in a camp way like i was so down bad that i literally like started having moments where i was like
Like literally directors cut in real time. So just to anyone who, Hey, if you're going through some things, if you are feeling any kind of way, just remember that like genuinely everything passes and it is the best when you actually feel like shit because it will pass no matter what you do. Yeah.
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Chapter 6: How does social media influence mental health?
Worst when you're having the best time of your life though. Cause then it'd be like, damn.
Wishing I could hold on to this feeling.
You know what I'm saying?
I feel like the first time I ever went to therapy for my depression, because I did a couple different therapies before. I'm in talk therapy now, but I did- Love, love talk therapy. I always want to say CBD. EMDR? No.
CBT which is like about I think CBT is really fucking like it was so beneficial usually it's like kind of like course like you don't it's like you maybe do it for like six months or so but it's like habit building and yeah yeah but it really on the habit building it really helps with like you with people who like have like high functioning like depression and stuff which is like what I was really oh my god really fucking struggling with and like still do sometimes but like
But it's a lot of things, too. And I think like the biggest thing that like no one talks about is it just truly is a disability. Like you wouldn't look at someone with a broken leg and be like, bitch, walk on it. Yeah. You know what I mean?
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Chapter 7: What role does self-advocacy play in personal well-being?
Like you want to be like, girl, walk on that shit. Like, no, it's debilitating. I can't. Yeah. And so I think it's kind of. you know, it's a, it's a lot of different things, but like the grace that we have to like give ourselves and just literally rock out.
Like when you're just in that, like, you know, whatever the, the, when you hit the lows of depression, because it will happen and you just, I feel like the more you fight it, the harder it is. And it's just like, you have to just lean in. Oh, the surrender.
And my mom read me so nasty because that is so not my tea. Like I'm genuinely like, every time I feel bad, I'm like, you got 24 hours literally. And my mom was like, I know you making it worse, like hella hard on yourself because you don't feel better. I was like, bitch, did you birth me or something? Woman, woman, did you birth me? Have you known me my whole life?
Chapter 8: How can we cultivate a positive mindset amidst challenges?
No, and totally. And I think, you know, my biggest takeaway from whatever, like the girls were in the DMs, like, you know, the shadow period is coming. Like, oh, like this is moving into Pisces, y'all. Like, oh, like be scared, be scared. Or no, don't be scared because it's like almost over, but it's giving like big truths and like, you know what I mean? Like shutting all this shit.
whatever but it really is like um it really comes down to like when bitches be like yeah dude just like drink water you'll feel better and i'm like it can't be that simple you dumb dirty bitch stop and then you drink water and you like get a sparkle in your eye like it's genuinely like who would have known like on repolations that like it genuinely comes down to radical self-love and self-acceptance which i'm like well
Yes. And I think too, you know, another thing that I like that is so true is just kind of like how the negative mental spiral, like how it compounds on itself. Because when you're like in a positive, you know, like mental spiral, like upward spiral. Mm-hmm. It's just like you drink water. So then you were like, wait, I should go on a walk. And then you go on a walk.
And then like, you know, the habit stacking like stacks upon itself. But it's like when you're in a negative, like, like, you know, mental spiral and it's just like bad thought or bad experience turns into like, well, why should I shower? And then it turns into why should I, whatever. And then it just, it, it keeps going. And the pit is like, it's, The pit is fierce.
Until your baseline gets back up to normal where you can start correcting shit and start moving pieces into play so that the next time, if there is a next time where something like this happens, you have a game plan in terms of how you're gonna recover. But it's fucking scary, bro. It is scary. The first time this happened to me, because I had just started this job. It was like 2021.
And I was like... I just had, it was just so much shit. And like, I just felt like I had like the weight of the world quite literally on my shoulders. And I was like thugging it out by myself and just trying to like, you're just surviving. Like when you're in just like that survival mode of like trying to like stay afloat, like, oh my God. Like, You know what I mean?
But it's just like, I'm really happy you're out on the other end as your best friend. Almost, Tay, almost. Yeah, and just like, you know, the recovery process is fierce, but like... The tenderism. The tenderism, girl. The tenderism, mama. The tenderism, mama. Shit tenderism. Like, this shit's like falling off the bone bad.
Yeah, and honestly, like, you know, to that point, just giving it... I'm in my giving it time bag. I'm also just... I don't know. I think, you know, the biggest lesson that I learned from this recent experience, I think, you know, this has been compounding for a long time. I've been kind of stressed out for like four months straight now.
So I'm literally like shit starting to give like, hello, like, like, hello, like, can anyone hear me? I think the biggest lesson that I learned though this time, interestingly enough, is like the, my goal, what this has brought to me is the self-advocation is the real tea.
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