Valuetainment
"Winning Is A Choice" - Brad Lea BREAKS The LOSER Mindset & EXCUSE Culture
30 Jan 2026
Chapter 1: What basic tips can young men use to develop confidence?
Basic tip for men today, specifically men today, to develop confidence so they win in their careers and they win with women. What would be some tips you would share with them, young men? Hmm.
Well... You know, there's always the cliche, do what you say you're going to do. But ultimately, I think confidence comes from the memory of winning. You know what I mean? If you win a lot at anything, you become more confident in that thing. So if you want to become more confident all around, you need to win more and to win more. I think is easy because winning is a choice really, isn't it?
So you just set your bar lower as far as a win goes. So like when I wake up in the morning, I brush my teeth, I'm celebrating like, man, that's a win. And for a lot of people out there, they should adopt that because I have people that, you know, come to me, ask me questions. And when they're speaking to me, they apparently don't understand brushing their teeth.
Chapter 2: How can stacking small wins lead to greater confidence?
So little things that win all throughout the day, just start racking up the wins. You know what I mean? Step one, forgive yourself. A lot of people have past guilt and shame and they just self-talk themselves into insecurity. you know, so, so forgive yourself and then ultimately pick, pick the right, uh, group. You know, if you're hanging around losers, you're probably going to be one.
But if, if there's one thing, it would be stack up the wins, just start winning on a regular basis. Um, And I think you eventually start walking a little taller.
Anything with girls?
Girls, I think at the end of the day, confidence goes a long way with girls. Figure out how to be a real man and not a beta. Don't try to split the bill. Don't lean on current belief systems. I would go traditional because most women, most women, they want a man. that leads, like what would be considered a man's man, a real man. Not someone who believes it's okay to split the bill.
Like, you don't split the bill, gentlemen. You lead. You don't serve them. You lead, I think, anyway. And I've always done well, so it seems to work for me.
You've always done well. Yes. Okay, so Tom, how about yourself? Because, you know, for you, Your father's a rocket scientist. You're brilliant. You're smart. You're always reading. Knowledge. You know, your wiring is different. But guys, I've been with Tom. Tom is very comfortable with women. He's happily married. Don't get me wrong. But you're not one that's shy.
You'll go up to anybody and everybody and talk to them. What did you do? Your profile is a different profile than Brad, right? He wanted to go into Hollywood. You went to IBM, right? What would you say worked for you as a man to win in business and with women?
Well, I was very, very fortunate because I learned exactly the lesson that Brad's talking about. I had an internship when I was a senior in college getting a marketing degree. Cal State Northridge happened to be quantitative marketing. They focused not on the fuzzy part of marketing, but on the quantitative marketing.
And they actually had B2B sales orientation to one marketing for business course. And I got an internship with IBM in sales.
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Chapter 3: What role does self-forgiveness play in building confidence?
And when I graduated, they... based on that internship and being a good guy and scared to death and just trying to impress people because damn it, I need a job tomorrow. When I graduate, I got a job in sales with IBM, went to IBM sales school. I was scared to death. I was literally insecure and scared to death in that class.
There were people there with the gold cufflinks and everything that were coming from other companies to IBM. But whether you came out of college or you were coming to IBM with less than five years of sales experience, you're in the same class. Because they were going to teach you their way. I finished number one in the class by just paying attention and following instructions.
And by the end of the class, I was ranked number one. I surprised myself. But I sat and I said, I can hang with these people. These are people four and five years working for Xerox that want to work for IBM. I got the same job they did. I just finished it.
Chapter 4: How does choosing the right environment impact success?
And that gave me great confidence, but also the realization getting commission for your hard work is a heck of a way not to have to ask for a raise because a raise can be driven by me and how hard I want to work this quarter.
You guys said the same thing within 30 minutes because you talk about commission and you're talking about commission. No, I agree with what he just said. Were you known as a sales guy in high school, Tom? Because I know you ran a business as well, the surfboard.
Surfboard, yeah, I built it. I was known as a talker. I was known at times maybe being too much of a wiseass.
No way.
Yeah, I was known as being funny, but I wasn't the class clown that got tossed out of class and had to go to detention. But I was known as that. I was the curious, talking, bit of a wiseass, guy but i what was very interesting people come to me and ask me about like getting jobs i remember what was what was your play what was your game with girls um when you're in your 20s tom what was your play
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Chapter 5: What traditional values should men consider in dating?
Like when I was in college? Yeah. Compliment, encourage, and tell them how good they can be. I think, no, I don't see that. I think you're really, but I never, I never lied to them. I never went the player route where you lie to her to give her false confidence.
So you would say you're fat, but your eyebrows are pretty. Is that like, that's what you're saying? Like, at least you were honest.
No, I didn't do that stuff.
Oh, but you just said you don't lie, though.
I encouraged them. I would encourage people.
It's cross on the line now, Tom. You do that nowadays. You literally could get fired today, HR, if you make a comment like that. Well, you just don't approach the fat ones.
Right, or if you want a shady picnic, invite Oprah.
But, you know, it's like... Well, she's on GLP-1 right now, so shout out to her GLP-1s. And by the way, just so you know, Tom, it's not her fault she's fat. Is she still? Did you hear what she said in the interview? I learned something very new, that it's not my fault that I'm fat. So I would disagree. Of course I would disagree.
No, it's a remote-controlled chicken nuggets jumping into your mouth. Did you hear this or no?
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Chapter 6: How can discipline help in overcoming mindset challenges?
Yeah, that's ridiculous. You know, it shows that even billionaires aren't that bright in some cases.
Is it that they're not bright or they have so many people telling them how amazing they are that they believe there's no way it's because of me I got fat?
Well, Oprah's bright, but in that case, that is victim mentality. No question about it. I can lay my shame, my guilt of not having discipline. Because at the end of the day, all the GLP-1s do is signal to the brain that you're not hungry. Well, again... That just removes the need for discipline because you're not hungry. If you're not hungry and you don't eat, it's the same thing.
But when someone didn't have the GLP-1 released and they are hungry, you can still choose not to eat. Period. So that, I can't even believe she said it. I mean, I respect Oprah for a lot of reasons.
You can't call it genetic. Genetic is the permanence of the human body, and you can't do it that. Just Google this, America. Go 1945. Show me pictures of crowds at baseball game. 1945. Pictures of crowds at county fairs. 1945. Show me pictures of people walking up and down city streets. What a point. And tell me what you see in the crowds. Tell me how many obese people you see.
They're not all at home. And find county fair, school graduation, any pictures you want from 1945. You know what I'm talking about? America was different. Our standards were different. Food was different. Yeah, that's the part as well. The gene in humans hasn't changed since 1945.
It's the food for sure.
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Chapter 7: What specific experiences contributed to the guest's success?
Brandon, do you have anything to add to this? You're 30 years old, so how's your game?
I mean, things could always improve. I think pretty good, though. I definitely agree with the confidence things. I definitely, in terms of, like, success, you know, between, like, girls and success, like, been choppy upward trend, I think. I don't know where these guys are at, but, you know, striving to be. But I definitely think confidence and being certain about –
what you want to do and where you want to go in life don't let anybody throw you off of that i think that um that's that's a magnetic pull to it if you are like you know it's like outweighing the devil the book outweighing the devil it says if you have definiteness of purpose then you're gonna you know make a end up in good places in life i think if you have definiteness of purpose and pursue that like crazy and take bold action then you're gonna end up in a good place yeah i like that and listen every one of you is different when you when you uh uh explain that but uh
The confidence thing, you can be someone who was known as the jock. That comes naturally. But you can be someone who's the nerd. You have your own game on the way that you can make it work. But what the market's always going to want is more confident people, whether it's career or relationships.
And this is why I was about to announce to you guys, we are about to launch Tom's dating advice course that's coming out on Lightspeed today. There's a reason why Brad is here today. Yes. 22 Keys to Dating in 2026. The platform for your educational content.
Click on the link below to learn how you can have better genes, where you can control yourself from the urge of eating too much so you can be in shape, unlike me. other billionaires out there.
And the upsell will be how to close the hose workshop.
Nice. Featuring Brandon Aceto. Yeah. Folks, once a year, we host an event called the Sales Leadership Summit. That event is coming up in the next two months. It'll be in South Florida at Trump Doral. And it's for those of you that run a business because sales is king. Most people don't understand the power of developing sales leaders that develop sales people.
This video will break down what's happening at SLS. And hopefully those of you guys that are doing a million plus, you'll get a chance to get a ticket for yourself. Go ahead, Rob, play the clip. So many years ago, I realized the size of your income, your net worth, your lifestyle is a pure reflection of the size of problems you solve.
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