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Chapter 1: What technical issues affected this episode's audio?
hey guys quick disclaimer we had a few audio issues with this episode um so the first half uh sounds a little weird but we did our best it's obviously it's fine but it's just not up to the usual but um so sorry about that but um yeah other than that thanks for tuning in and enjoy the episode
269.
269 is hilarious. Normally, 269 is 269s. As everybody knows, as everybody says all the time, you can't get people to stop saying that shit. Um, yeah, this is, uh, this is, if you, you could probably notice, I'm not, I'm not in my, uh, I'm not in my studio. It is being fumigated right now. That's a lie. It's not. I just... I leave for tour soon.
And I just want to be home as much as I can before I gotta leave, okay? That's God's truth, alright?
So, you know, I'm missing a few of my sound effects. Which really sucks. I wonder if I can add them live right now.
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Chapter 2: What has Kurtis Conner been up to lately?
Because I can't fucking do this podcast without my sound effects, man. I like hardly edit on this computer anymore. So I don't have all my good sound effects. These guys, this is terrible. Let's see how quickly I can So quickly, I didn't have the sound effect. I want the get out sound effect. Because it's so... It's so funny. No, it's not funny. I've got school.
Yeah, so what's been going on, guys? I was just on a little trip, a little vacation. A little trip to the desert. And it was sick as fuck, man. We went to the desert. We... We just freaking chilled, man. We chilled. We went swimming. We read books. I read one book. I read the first book in the Stormlight Archive series. It's called The Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson. And it was really good.
It was really good. I'm on a Brandon Sanderson kick. And I actually just found out.
Like today, actually, that apparently he is. Apparently he's a Mormon. The author is a Mormon. Let's go.
I may have judged them too harshly. You know. But, yeah, I really like it. It was long as fuck, dude. It was like 1,200 pages. And I could have just read the Bible then. I could have just read the full Bible. How many pages is the Bible? Does anybody know? How many pages in the Bible? Dude, the Bible typically has around 1,200 pages. Dude, I fucking nailed that.
Get out!
It worked, man. Let's go. Five minutes in. We got it.
Um... But yeah, dude. That's what's been going on.
Like I said, I leave for tour pretty soon. Um...
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Chapter 3: What is the planned format and schedule for Kurtis Conner's upcoming tour?
You kind of like have to, you know, you build off the momentum, you get the crowd excited, that's what the opener does, comes out, does some bits, gets the crowd excited, right? Gets some laughing, you know? And then there's just going to be like 20 minutes of just nothing for the intermission. So that'll be fun if you guys are going to one of the shows that has an intermission. Sorry in advance.
It's going to feel weird, but you know. Or maybe you won't. Maybe you won't. Maybe that's the way that we should be doing it. And I'm just so... That's just the Western way, you know? Okay, so we got some stuff to talk about this week. We're also... I'm also going to be recording a bonus. A bonus episode this week. And that'll be over on patreon.com slash... They'll be really good.
So you guys are free to check out the link in the description.
And you can support if you want. Speak out, Link. Dude.
Dude, they're doing a friggin' live-action Legend of Zelda movie, man. Isn't that crazy? I can't believe it. I remember that trailer, that fake trailer that fuckin' IGN uploaded back in, like, 2010 for a live-action Zelda movie, and I believed it. That fuckin' got me, dude. I think it was an April Fool's joke. I'm recording this in April Fool's, too. April Fools or Fools? Um...
So yeah, I wonder who's going to play all the characters, man. I want to do my dream casting right now. My ideal cast.
So Link, it's got to be Chris Pratt. Link's going to be Chris Pratt. Zelda should be played by Awkwafina. And Ganondorf is going to be played by Jack Black.
And I think that's pretty much the main character, right? I don't know which Zelda game they're basing it off of, but that's my top three. Chris Pratt as Link, Awkwafina as Zelda, and then Jack Black as Ganondorf. Yeah, that'll do that. If, if Hollywood, if you got, if you got a pair of nuts on you, you'll do that. All right.
Chicken jockey. Like what will, I do wonder what it's going to be like to you.
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Chapter 4: What are Kurtis Conner's thoughts on the live-action Legend of Zelda movie?
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We got SNL drama, though, dude. The worst type of drama. Saturday night. Live. Okay? And that's the thing, man. When something is live, shit, you can't change it, man. You can't put the toothpaste back in the tube. You can't put the toothpaste by the tube. Even though you probably fucking could, though, right? That saying was always weird.
So, you know, once you squeeze the toothpaste out of the tube, you can't get it back in. Yeah, you can, actually. You cut it with scissors, put it back in, tape it up. Fucking idiots. So, SNL Saturday Night Live took place last week. I believe it was on a Saturday night. And Morgan Wallim was the musical guest. He's had quite the career. He's had quite the...
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Chapter 5: How does Kurtis Conner promote his bonus Patreon episodes?
Okay, January 2016, Wallen was arrested, charged with driving under the influence, which is always super cool. You know, that's actually cool if you do that, because Uber actually didn't, exists yet in 2016, especially not caps. And you know what? Sometimes you just gotta get all fucked up and you know, drive around. May 2020, Wallen arrested, charged with public intoxication.
May 24, 2020, Wallen was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct and public intoxication. His arrest came after the country singer was thrown out of Kid Rock's Honky Tonk Steakhouse in Nashville. Hey man, is that a real place? Kid Rock's Honky Tonk Steakhouse. Yeah. And if you're getting thrown out of Kid Rock's establishment, you gotta be a real scumbag, dude.
He was probably doing something nice in there. To be thrown out of that fucking idiot's honky tonk steakhouse. Because Kid Rock, he hates like, you know, he was like singing at Trump's inauguration and shit. So someone in there, maybe Morgan Wall was in there like, yeah, maybe gay people should be allowed to get married. And he was like, get the fuck out of here. Or else I'll shoot you.
Wallen was ejected from the bar. That word is hilarious because I'm picturing him getting shot through the ceiling on like a spring, like a cartoon. Wallen was ejected from the bar after being disorderly and kicking glass items. Wallen addressed the incident in a cis-deleted post on Twitter. Hey, y'all, this is Juan de Clavier. I went out downtown last night with a few old friends.
After a couple bar stops, we were horse-playing with each other. I was on my friend's back, and he was galloping around the bar, and I may have kicked a few glass items. We didn't mean any harm, and we want to say sorry to any bar staff or anyone else affected. Okay. Okay, public intoxication. I mean, I've been intoxicated in public before. I guess he just got caught.
Okay, and then in October 2020, Wallen faces public backlash for allegedly violating COVID-19 protocols. Partying without a mask. Right? Now that's gonna happen. And then February 2021, Wallen's recording contract suspended after his use of a racial slur. And then he cancels a summer tour with a handwritten letter. That's so cringe, dude.
And then he was banned from award shows and then arrested for throwing a chair from a rooftop bar, right? Okay, that was the only thing that he did. I remember that. Last night, I threw a chair off the roof. Can't remember why I did it, but I threw a chair off the roof.
I threw a chair. Don't act like I can throw this kind of chair all by myself.
Okay, so yeah, he's just been like a crazy... Oh, spoiler alert. He's just been a crazy kind of fucker. He's just sort of been a crazy fucker for a while. And his most recent controversy, it's a little less blatant. You know, you kind of got to read between the lines here. Yeah, he was on SNL, dude. And you know the end of SNL when they're like, the host is like, thank you so much for watching.
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Chapter 6: What endorsements and sponsors are featured in this episode?
Saturday night. Wow.
Um, this is what Morgan Wallen did. Okay, he gives Mikey Madison a little hug, and then he just fucks off. Walks right past the camera. He leaves the cast just all alone. They're standing there like, where's Morgan?
Where'd Mr. Wallen go?
So, obviously a little weird, right? He was like, babe, I fucking hate this. Get me out of here. Right? Maybe he was, you know, maybe he had to shit. Right? Maybe he had to... Maybe he had to, you know... Maybe he was late for something. Maybe he had to catch a flight home. He was in a rush, right? We don't know. But... We do know. OK, he was rushing to his private jet.
OK, because we have a picture on his Instagram shortly after his SNL appearance. He posted on his Instagram story a picture of his. I think this is out of the window of his private jet. Which is just so southern, salt of the earth, southern, hard-working guy for the blue-collar generation, right?
Taking a picture from his private jet, and it says, Get me to God's country. Now that gets a big, old...
What the hell, bro? Give me to God's country. So I think we can, you know, With the evidence provided, you know, him storming off SNL super early, going right to a jet, being like, get me the fuck out of here. Give me a God's country. You know, God's country is like, you know, Texas, the South. OK, so I guess he was on SNL and then he was like, oh, wait, hold up. Hold up for a second.
There's people of color and gay people on this show and they actually work on it and they're here.
Oh, my God. Can't do that. Like, what a fucking child, dude. Like, what a little boy.
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Chapter 7: What is the SNL drama involving Morgan Wallen discussed in this episode?
Get me to an open field. Like, just don't do SNL then, man. You're gonna be such a fucking baby about it.
Just why'd you have to do it, gang? I feel like SNL is pretty... You know what that is. It's like a... They constantly make fun of Trump and shit. Like, I feel like you should know what you're getting into, right? And then to be like, get me to Gov's country, man. He is literally this meme. Conservative guy, scared of cities. Saw that thing on the news. Too many of those people there.
Can't park for super duty. I'm not scared, bro. He's literally that. He is that meme. And Jenna made a great point. I brought this up to Jenna before talking about this, and then she was like, It's crazy that, like, people on the right, you know, conservative people like this, Southerners, right?
People who are like, God fucking is my right to bear arms.
You know, they're so, like, anti-woke, right? And they're like, you guys get so fucking triggered over shit, right? The left gets so triggered. And then, like, look at this shit, man. You just had to sing some of your fucking songs in New York City. And then you're like, I can't fucking deal with this shit, man. Too many loud noises.
This place had restaurants open until two in the morning. Some of these restaurants never even close.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Yeah, so I don't think Morgan Wallen is going to be invited back. He didn't even get to friggin' throw a chair anywhere, dude. He threw a fit. He threw a fit. He's always throwing chairs. Sometimes he's throwing chairs, sometimes he's throwing fits, man. Um... I guess we could talk about this too. This is also in the music industry.
It was a music industry drama, not really drama, but an interesting story. This is regarding Jojo Siwa I wanted to talk about. I saw this and I wanted to go over it with you because I saw this. This seems to be a trend going forward and I wanted to discuss it a little bit. We got an article here. Jojo Siwa is selling VIP tour tickets for over $900 where fans can help her crew set up for concerts.
And in quotes here it says, you're going to get to kind of help us set it up and make sure things are right, said Siwa of the VIP package offered for her upcoming tour. Yeah, so JoJo Siwa is doing a tour, an upcoming tour, and I don't know what that fucking show is going to be like.
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