War and Peace in just 7 years (WAPIN7)

S10E8. Let Them Eat Horse!

27 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

We're going full blown horse this week, with horse after glorious horse being named quicker than you can say "My Name Is Horse". We&ap...

S10E7. King of the Peasants

11 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Indentured peasants, motivated by nothing more than a love of the land and a cripilingly inescapable system of debt and ownership. Poor? Definitely.S...

S10E6. Now You See Me, Nasty Nick Me Not!

26 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

All good things must come to an end - like the weekend,  sleeping or a bowl of nice chips. Even bad things must come to an end, like the hokey cokey...

S10E5. The Tale of Two Circles

08 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Circles, glorious circles, no beginning and no end, round as the day is long, perfect as a polished samovar at dawn.But what happens if you take the h...

S10E4. Naked Dusty Flesh

24 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The dust. It's surrounds you. In your eyes, your boots, your soul - everything is dust. Through the dust you see a vision, a vision of your home...

S10E3. The Proud Parade of the Papier-mâché Postie and his Paper Pups

04 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Letters, they simply must be delivered. Whatever is going on in the world the sweet, sweet postal imust flow. Join Glorious Post Person No.13 and his...

S10E2. Bread Bin Dreams

14 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It’s a question as old as time: do nasty old men (who sleep in bread bins) dream of electric sheep?!Not following? Best to probably just listen the...

S10E1. Bye-Bye Bias - Book 10 Begins!

29 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It's time for Book 10 and we're all going to the WAPIN7 school of Extremely-Serious-Military-History! Join us as we try our best to unpick ...

S9E13. Book 9 Catch Up Quiz

08 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Get your official WAP quiz quill and parchment out of their locked golden chests and cast your mind back over this longest, and cursiest of seasons. ...

S9E12. Special: Beowulf

19 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It's time to take a short break from the world of War and Peace and dive even further back in time...What happens when a local family run establi...

S9E11. Surf's Up - Book 9 Finale!

28 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Take that, Curse! We did it!! Book 9 of War and Peace is officially finished!It's time to open your favourite box of biscuits, pour yourself a de...

S9E10. The Prophecy of Eggbag

07 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Pierre's giant red hands quivered as he held aloft the parchment. He read the words again and again and even double checked his addition. There w...

S9E9. St Peter's Bread

23 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Bready or not, it's Peter's week! It's time to pop on your favourite Peter jumper, roll out of bread, and head on downstairs to see wha...

S9E8. Harmy Army

25 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Pour yourself a final cup of mud and saddle up your favourite pig, cow or even perhaps horse, because it's time to continue forwards, onwards, in...

S9E7. Retreat for a Treat

02 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It's raining; it's pouring.The old, potentially dead man, is snoring.Nick went to war and found a pub, When exactly will we be warring?!〰️...

S9E6. Péas de résistance

30 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Bags. We thought we knew everything there was to know about them. We thought we'd been inside them all. But what if I told you there was one more...

S9E5. Bald, Bold & Bagged

14 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Ok, so there's one giant bag and inside that bag there are 9 sub-bags. Each of these 9 sub-bags, apart from bag 9, has other smaller bags inside ...

S9E4. No Pony-Poleon

11 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Napoleon, we've seen him wild with anger, we've seen him quiver with rage, we've seen him snuff with impunity. Now it's time to se...

S9E3. E'snuff's E'snuff!

13 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We start with three noble Barry’s: Barry the Bugler, Barry the Bodyguard and Barry the Burger (horse). Will the Barry’s successfully escort their ...

S9E2. Fate at the Fête

10 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Don't be coconut shy, come on down to the WAPIN7 Fête! We've got dodgems, teacup rides and a coconut shy! Plus an area to sell secondhand g...

S9E1. The Bad Shadows Are A Comin'

11 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We're back for Book 9 and boy is this going to be bad! Not the podcast, cross our saucy little fingers, but the world of War and Peace. It's...

S8E12. Special: Winnie-the-Pooh And Some Bees

30 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

What do you get when you mix the 'wrong type' of bees, a sentient half-dressed bear with a penchant for honey and a child with a gun and a r...

S8E11. Book 8 Catch-up Quiz

09 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It's time for the Season 8 Catch-Up Quiz and boy do we have some questions for you! There are pictures of comets, AI-generated nightmare art, var...

S8E10. Comet-ment Issues - Book 8 Finale!

17 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The time has finally come - the end of another book is upon us. Gather round slugs, worms, maggots and humans young,  old and slimy as we seamlessly ...

S8E9. One Side of the Square is a Slug

03 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

What happens when you add one more side to a love triangle? What happens when one of those sides is an actual slug? A slug who was hell-bent on abduct...

S8E8. Two Ducks, a Slug, and a Naked Priest

21 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Incredibly attractive as they may be, slugs are typically not known for their speed or for their clever plans. Today that all changes. Prepare to meet...

S8E7. I Kissed a Slug and I Liked It!

07 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

I kissed a slug, and I liked itTaste of its slime... surprisingI kissed a slug, just to try itI hope my fiance don't mind itIt felt so wrong, it ...

S8E6. One Side of the Triangle is a Worm

22 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Slugs: the familiar garden beastie known for their gelatinous trails, unsightly appearance and voracious love of salad.19th century Russian slugs were...

S8E5. The Devil, Some Cardboard, And His Saucepan Son

08 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Why does the Devil have a saucepan son and why are they dancing? What's wrong with the King's arms? Why is he also dancing? Why is their wor...

S8E4. The Sauce of Sadness

25 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

If we want to understand why pure, inescapable sadness has descended on what was once a happy, albeit somewhat violent and troubling book, we must go ...

S8E3. Sad, Marry, Avoid?

11 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Sure, being sad is sad. We can't deny it. It feels bad, it feels really quite sad in fact.But what if the only way to conquer sadness is to be ev...

S8E2. The Mary Bumper Sadness Special

27 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

You thought you knew sad? You know, sad... that feeling you get when you realise you've eaten the last crisp and there won't be any more cri...

S8E1. Welcome To Club Sadness - Book 8 Begins!

13 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We're back with a sadness bomb and some problems as old as time...Can frivolous spending,  clubbing and drinking to excess  improve your health...

S7E8. Special: Casino Royale

23 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The name's Jimbo, Jimbo Secretan, Her Magesty's Ornothologist and best gambler in Britain.  Yes that's right it's time for the fi...

S7E7. The Book 7 Catch Up Zoo Quiz Special (Ep. 100!)

08 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

 Join us for this incredibly special centenary episode of WAPIN7 - an unbelivable milestone for us, you, Tolstoy and surprisingly the animals of Lond...

S7E6. Supernatural Cork Kisses - Book 7 Finale!

09 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

GHOSTS, WITCHES, CLOWNS, BEARS as well as the HUMAN BEAN - we've got it all this week, as we descend deep into hell for this final episode of Boo...

S7E5. The Oats Don't Lie

26 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It is rumoured that Shakira wrote her global smash hit single after being inspired by a perfect bowl of oats. The, now infamous, story goes that Shak...

S7E4. Do You Bala-Like It?

12 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

You know the old saying: Hunt hard, play hard. And boy have we hunted hard.Drop your crop, hang your horn, and swap your hunting knife for an eating k...

S7E3. He's Not My Uncle

29 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Since the beginning of time there have been rivalries that have transcended the generations:Cats and dogsSliced bread and non sliced bread Red or whi...

S7E2. How Many Dogs Is Too Many Dogs?

15 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

It's an age old question: How many dogs would a good dog dog if a good dog could dog dogs? Is 5 dogs the right answer? 50? Would 5000 dogs be a g...

S7E1. Homeward Bound

01 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

One is the epic and unforgettable adventure of a talking bulldog, a talking golden retriever and presumably a talking cat and the other; a tale of a s...

S6E10. Book 6 Catch-Up Quiz

17 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We've got questions on hands, talking golden Smurf trees, archaic ultra-complicated temperature scales, bad calendars, pirate ships and somehow e...

S6E9. Special: Twilight

03 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Forks, Washington gets 110 inches of rain, on average, per year. The US average is 38 inches of rain per year.A lot of rain to wash away your sins... ...

S6E8. Pandy's Promise - Book 6 Finale!

15 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6! Another book down. Take a bow, do a small dance, ask someone to marry you and sit in silence for exactly one year, have a pineappl...

S6E7. Normal People Doing Stuff

01 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Nothing to see here, move along, move along.It's just another standard week in War and Peace this week as the perfectly normal married humans, Ve...

S6E6. The Secret Of Happiness

18 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Prince Andy is on the hunt for happiness but in order to find it he simply must experience ambivalence, nihilism and straight up unhappiness first.Thi...

S6E5. The Dance of Destiny

04 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We've been to soirees, parties, even a casual ball or five during our time with War and Peace. We've watched as The King of Sauce set the da...

S6E4. Will You Money Me?

21 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Some marry for love. Some marry for a protracted negotiation around dowry payments, up front deposits, cash incentives and share options. Some choose ...

S6E3. Dear Diary

07 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Dear Diary,My name's Pierre and I'm in my 20s, maybe early 30s, I'm not really sure. I've had a strange few years, I swapped my wi...

S6E2. The Whole World In His Hands!

23 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

All together now!He's got the rights of the people, in his hands!He's got plump white hands, for his hands!He's got a strange way of ta...

S6E1. Hot Hot Spring - Book 6 Begins!

09 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We’re back! It’s officially Volume 2, it’s officially 1808, it’s officially spring. Indeed, the spring has never been springier in this spring...

S5E13. Special: The Murders In The Rue Morgue - Part 2 of 2

26 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

You've been hanging on to that cliff for too long! It's time for us to set you free and reveal the murderer! Or MURDERERS!!This week it&apo...

S5E12. Special: The Murders In The Rue Morgue - Part 1 of 2

12 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Move over Sherlock, pipe down Poirot, check yourself Miss Marple - there's a new detective in town and he's the real og.This week we meet th...

S5E11. Book 5 Catch-Up Quiz

28 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

You look down at your large red powerful hands. You clench one into a  fist and pump it triumphantly into the air! You've finished Book 5 of War...

S5E10. Peace out! - Book 5 (+ Vol 1!) Finale

14 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

It's the end of Book 5 AND the end of Volume 1 of War and Peace - and there are just so many unanswered questions:Will Denisov escape the law?Wil...

S5E9. Dress Down Friday

31 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Casual clothes day, dress down day, own clothes day, free dress day, non-uniform day, uniform free day, wear what you want day...Whatever you call it,...

S5E8. Laughter is the Only Medicine

17 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

🇺🇦 How to support the people of Ukraine 🇺🇦Support from the UKSupport from the USOther ways to help from your country〰️〰️〰️〰️...

S5E7. Mud, Blood, and Biscuits

03 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

If you've assembled an IKEA cupboard or two you'll know how essential good, clear instructions are. They really can make the difference betw...

S5E6. Pierre's Perfect Pilgrim Party

17 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Pierre the perfect pilgrim pleaser pleases pilgrims perfectly in this week's perfectly priceless episode of WAPIN7.PAUSE!"Pierre? Perfect!? ...

S5E5. Free The Smurfs

03 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week we're talking Serfs - the indentured workforce of 1800s Russia, bonded to a lifetime of hard labor for zero pay as they slowly die from...

S5E4. Meta Letter

20 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We just got a meta letter!I wonder who it's from?A letter inside another letter!I wonder who it's from?!A letter longer than time itself...I...

S5E3. St. Partiesburg

06 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Warm up your mouth, polish your teeth and fill your lungs because it's time to party! Yes that's right, you are invited to another sensation...

S5E2. Think About It!

23 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We've all joined ultra secretive societies before. We all know the drill: box of bones, blindfold, various sets of gloves with incredibly specifi...

S5E1. Parlay With The Pirate King - Book 5 Begins!

02 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Ahoy me hearties! What better way to start Book 5 than with an old sea shanty!One sad man in a very sad placeYo ho ho and a bottle of vodkaEnter the P...

S4E10. Special: The Monkey's Paw

25 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

What happens when you take a boring old monkey paw, fill it with magical evilness and exactly three wishes, and give it to an unsuspecting family who ...

S4E9. Book 4 Catch-Up Quiz

18 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

You've finished book 4 of the greatest book of all time! You're feeling proud, brave and completely diplomat. You howl with pride. Howl lik...

S4E8. The Last Song of The Werewolf - Book 4 Finale!

28 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Ancient Russian legends speak of an old curse.It is said there is a man, human at a glance, but listen to him sing and you will hear the beautiful and...

S4E7. The Big Ping Pong Punt

21 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

The first rule of Ping-Pong-Cricket cards is: you do not talk about Ping-Pong-Cricket-Cards. The second rule of Ping-Pong-Cricket Cards: you DO NOT t...

S4E6. 2-4-1 @ Iogels

14 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

TONIGHT @ IOGELS Moscow's Hottest Club 1806Get ready YOUNG PEOPLE for the biggest night of the year: the alcopops are flowing, the beats are gnar...

S4E5. Ok, Maybe One Funeral

30 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We've had some good times over the last 64 episodes haven't we? We've laughed, we've loved, we've danced the Cooper. Absolute...

S4E4. No Weddings And No Funeral

23 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Shy Moscovite Pierre (Hugh Grant) meets Moscovian Hélène (Andie MacDowell) at their own wedding and enjoys several months of marriage to her. The ne...

S4E3. I Challenge Thou!

16 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

The party continues! As guests greedily sup turtle soup and toast every single person in Russia a storm is brewing...Not a literal storm, like a stor...

S4E02. Time For Toast

09 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Dear Listener,You are cordially invited to an evening of fine dining, amusements, and powerful dancing at The English Club.In attendance will be one S...

S4E1. Would Thou Pass The Jelly? - Book 4 Begins!

02 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Say goodbye to Season 3 because it's time for Season 4! The war is having a well deserved holiday. It's tired from all the retreating and e...

S3E14. Book 3 Catch-Up Quiz

26 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

It's that wonderful time of the season... QUIZ TIME!What can you remember from book 3 of War and Peace? It's time to don your finest velvet ...

S3E13. Special: Pride and Prejudice - Chapters 1 to 3

12 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

It's the early 19th century and a handsome single chap with loads of dosh has moved in just round the corner. There's only thing to do: goss...

S3E12. What Is It Good For? - Book 3 Finale!

29 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We wanted it to be on. We waited for it to be on. Now it's actually on, and it might be better if it was off. Can we change our minds?Last week w...

S3E11. It Really, Really, Really Is On!

22 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Where once there was fog, or maybe dense mist, but probably definitely fog, now there lies smoke. Like an incredibly dense super-fog, the smoke hides...

S3E10. Gloves Off!

15 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

The fog was thick. Thick as a thick, thick bowl of fog soup. Everywhere young Nicky Rostov turned he saw the dense white of the horrible thick fog. I...

S3E09. Oh Boy, It Really Is On Now

08 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Yeah we're doing this again...We're sorry, OK! We were so sure it was on before and so we said it was "on" but then it wasn'...

S3E08. Oh It's On!

01 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Diary - I've simply got to tell you! Something incredible has happened. Are you ready??? I actually MET the emperor today, the real Russian emper...

S3E07. Boris Wonka and The Chocolate Barracks

24 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Oompa loompa doompety dooWe've got a perfect chapter for youOompa loompa doompety dorisThis one is sort of all about BorisWhat do you get when yo...

S3E06. Inside The Letterbox

17 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

These days we think nothing of receiving a sick gif from great grandma Bing, or a wicked TikTok from second uncle Pepe. There's no limit to the n...

S3E05. The Mary Marry Mystery Moment

10 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Might Mary maybe marry? And Anatole... an angel awaits?Naysayer Nasty Nick needs "NO!"Tikhon turnip turtle train... OK, enough of the amaz...

S3E04. Treachery At The Clavichord

03 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Dearest Listener,You are cordially invited to the 1805 FATHER OF THE YEAR awards, recognising some of the most incredible, selfless and thoughtful fat...

S3E03. There's Snow Business Like Sad Business!

27 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We're back at Sad Mansion and there really is snow way out. It's time to arrange another wedding, so let's really dial up the sad-omete...

S3E02. Daddy's Off To Disneyland

20 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

You know the feeling - your bags are packed, you've triple checked the passports, your pockets are stuffed with travel ham. This is going to be t...

S3E01. King of The Bed Toilet - Book 3 Begins!

13 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Sick and tired of having grapes shot at you all day? Fed up of cheese rolls and barefooted handsome psychopaths? Are you longing for your old life of ...

S2E16. Special: Lord of the Flies - Chapter 1

29 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week we're giving Tolstoy a well earned rest - while he enjoys a Turkish pipe and a nice hot bath, we're diving head first into the blu...

S2E15. Book 2 Catch-Up Quiz

15 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

You've finished Book 2 of War and Peace! Take a bow. The crowd are chanting your name! "YOU ARE SO DIPLOMAT <YOUR NAME>!" They s...

S2E14. Liar, Liar, Naked Man By The Fire - Book 2 Finale!

08 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Hi Will, I've just been going through the official WAPIN7 End of Book Checklist, and I'm pleased to say today's episode really has got...

S2E13. Suddenly!

01 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

SuddenlyAdverbquickly and without warning; unexpectedlyWill was perfectly summarising a chapter of War and Peace when suddenly Steve interjected and t...

S2E12. It Has Continued!

25 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Goodbye, Darren, my old friendYou were a horsey to the endYou softly galloped on your sweet hoovesThe bravest friend that we could ever loseI have a v...

S2E11. It Has Begun!

18 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

You'd be forgiven for thinking the beginning of the book was the beginning - oh how naive you are! 41 chapters in and now it's really time t...

S2E10. Climbing The Success Pyramid

11 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Do you want to be SUCCESSFUL? Do you want to be IMPRESSIVE, FAMOUS and ATTRACTIVE?Do you want to be heroically KILLED BY GRAPE SHOT?If the answer to ...

S2E9. War OR Peace?

04 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

You know the saying, "War and Peace go together like birds of a feather". Birds have lots of feathers, you see, and a bird would not actual...

S2E8. We're Totally Macked

25 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Andy Pandy, aged 20¼Tuesday 19th November, 1805Bilibin's house, Brunn, AustriaDear Diary, I'M SO EXCITED I CAN BARELY SLEEP! Tomorrow I&apo...

S2E7. Wrinkle In The Plan

18 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We've all seen The Mighty Ducks or that film with the bobsleighs or that one with all the karate kicking... You know how it goes. Just as it loo...

S2E6. Grapes of Wrath

11 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

You know the feeling - you've got half a dozen flat screen TVs strapped to your horse, a sack of bargain quinoa on your back, and a massive smile...

S2E5. Stuck On The Ham Highway

04 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Your excitement is palpable; you've shaved, brushed your teeth and slathered yourself in the finest perfume money can buy. Holding your head hig...