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We Mean Well

#343 - You’re A Hunk Of S**t!

28 Apr 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What health retreat experience did Louisa have?

0.031 - 28.536 Louisa Adal Din

it is wednesday my dudes hello bedwetters and welcome back to the we mean well podcast hosted by louise adal din and jack archdale strap yourselves in for what will be a truly insightful and life-changing experience of course you don't you're a drunk you've showed up pissed this morning hey bedwetters bedwetters i think you'll find that last episode

0

30.17 - 53.3 Jack Archdale

We spoke for the first, honestly, we spoke for the first 35 minutes of the episode about Louisa's health retreat, Gwingana. Honestly, fair dinkum. It was 30 minutes. It was 30 minutes. It was half an hour on the health retreat. Now I've learnt since then that Louisa vaped on the retreat.

0

53.841 - 55.603 Unknown

I had a couple of puffs.

0

56.427 - 64.906 Jack Archdale

Then I think you'll find that we're recording this on a Wednesday morning. Lou's gone out Tuesday night. She's come in all puffed up, bags under the eyes.

0

64.926 - 65.768 Unknown

I'm not puffy.

65.788 - 81.94 Jack Archdale

You are puffed up. Sat on my lap before to have a yarn. Wine breath. Mummy's had a blowout Tuesday and her excuse, her excuse, Mummy's excuse was, well, it was technically my Friday because I went to Gwingana Estate in the Hentaland.

82.841 - 83.983 Unknown

Let me explain.

84.323 - 84.864 Jack Archdale

And hold on.

84.984 - 86.045 Unknown

Judge my side.

Chapter 2: What led to Louisa's unexpected night out?

110.156 - 111.397 Unknown

This is Jay at Market Express.

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111.437 - 125.553 Jack Archdale

Trying to reach Mr. Archdale. Oh, yes, sir. Jay. Hi, thank you. Sorry, mate. He owes a lot of- Would you be able to call me back? Would you be able to call me back in around two- The line's just cutting in and out. Can you repeat? Could you please call me back in like two hours?

0

126.895 - 127.495 Unknown

Hey, Jay.

0

127.516 - 128.637 Jack Archdale

Yeah, no worries. Is that okay?

0

128.657 - 130.579

I'm trying to call you back. Or alternatively, please.

132.297 - 133.879 Jack Archdale

Okay, I'll call this one then.

133.899 - 134.56 Unknown

Oh, yeah.

134.66 - 137.343 Jack Archdale

Awesome. Thank you, Jay. I just filled that format, so thank you, brother.

138.023 - 138.524 Unknown

Thanks.

Chapter 3: How did Louisa end up in a humorous situation with the police?

157.693 - 161.378 Jack Archdale

I'm not doing it. So she's got little colouring books and fucking pencils like a child.

0

161.398 - 162.5 Unknown

Therapeutic and lovely.

0

162.76 - 180.907 Jack Archdale

Do you know what she does? This is hilarious. Me and LP were pissing ourselves. He goes, she keeps talking all this fucking talk about how fucking zen and wholesome she is and no phones in the studio. He goes, look at her every time we're in a radio break. She literally walks out the studio, closes the door, picks her phone up on the couch and just stands.

0

180.948 - 187.357 Jack Archdale

She stands up and just plays on her phone for five minutes and then walks back in. And we're going, what is the difference?

0

187.377 - 188.138 Unknown

Well, it's not in the studio.

188.158 - 188.779 Jack Archdale

What's the difference?

188.799 - 190.021 Unknown

It's not in your place of zen.

190.101 - 191.002 Jack Archdale

There's no difference.

191.804 - 194.347 Unknown

But I'm not looking at it during the breaks. There's not things buzzing.

Chapter 4: What broken promises were discussed in the episode?

228.144 - 231.509 Jack Archdale

Oh, yeah. You book a holiday, you might as well get pissed in celebration on a Tuesday.

0

231.729 - 240.621 Unknown

Well, it was. It was stressful booking flights. Oh, fuck off. Oh, fuck off, cunt. Babe, it was so stressy.

0

240.641 - 241.081 Jack Archdale

Oh, dear, oh, dear.

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241.101 - 242.403 Unknown

We had to crack a bottle of Chardonnay.

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242.563 - 244.566 Jack Archdale

I get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Clicking buttons and that.

244.946 - 261.227 Unknown

Yeah. And timing it, you know, getting the same seats. Oh, my gosh, sweetheart. It was fucked. It was fucked, babe. Anyway, so we had a glass of Chardonnay there and then we went to the local Chinese restaurant and fuck me up, it was good. Like, that's an institution, the Rose Bay one. It was phenomenal.

261.648 - 261.748

Yeah.

261.728 - 270.437 Unknown

And I tell you what, they pour a lot into those glasses. They are full to the brim.

270.798 - 294.94 Jack Archdale

You did start when someone sort of said, someone in here goes, you've been hungover. And you're like, no, I had two wines. And then I start looking, I'm like, you look a bit hungover. This is, and Vi will attest to this, fucking, and Willie, Two seconds later, you go, I had three wines. We go, well, mate, in less than 10 seconds, it's jumped from two to three. So what are we talking?

Chapter 5: What surfing experiences did Louisa share?

295.02 - 301.283 Unknown

It was one at home and two large puns. At Chinese.

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301.523 - 306.408 Jack Archdale

That I split up in two other glasses. I had six wines. We had two bottles each.

0

306.428 - 311.313 Unknown

You know what? No, because there's a lazy Susan at the- Well, she doesn't like being called that.

0

311.433 - 316.218 Jack Archdale

To be fair, she's worked there for a long time. And she works very hard. Willie, she works very fucking hard.

0

316.358 - 316.858 Unknown

She's great.

317.359 - 317.779 Jack Archdale

Thank you.

318.139 - 333.992 Unknown

But because you'd spin around, I'd put my wine on there and then Tor would just spin it and grab my, like, skullet. Then put it back on and then I'd get it back around and it was just empty. I was like- You are a mongrel.

334.012 - 336.403 Jack Archdale

Oh, nothing like a little, whoa.

336.89 - 338.272 Unknown

Story doesn't end there, Jack.

Chapter 6: What interesting hotlines were featured this week?

359.842 - 361.264 Jack Archdale

It'll be done tomorrow. Get into it.

0

361.945 - 389.602 Unknown

So a policeman walks in. And I've obviously had my two glasses of Chardonnay. And I go, cuff me. Go on, cuff me. And he was a great bloke. He was a lot of fun for a policeman. Not saying that policemen aren't fun, but he was a lot of fun, Jack. He cuffed me. And as he cuffed me, I said, what is the charge? A succulent Chinese male? And then he didn't have his keys on him.

0

389.622 - 399.067 Unknown

So I was cuffed for a while. Then I sort of started air grinding on him. I was just dancing around.

0

399.087 - 399.807 Jack Archdale

You were drunk again.

0

400.268 - 400.989 Unknown

No, I was not.

401.389 - 417.45 Jack Archdale

So basically you've gone to Gwingana Estate, you vaped the whole time. I did not vape. You got pissed the second night you got away from Gwingana, you got blind drunk and semi-arrested. Great. Hey, turns out Gwingana wasn't good for you, kid. You've come out worse.

418.551 - 420.654 Unknown

No, I've learned balance check.

420.674 - 421.214 Jack Archdale

Oh, yeah.

421.235 - 422.756 Unknown

Dinner and a few wines and home.

Chapter 7: What are the latest trends in outrageous products?

427.075 - 436.167 Jack Archdale

You're a new woman. I am. Fuck me. I am, darling. I can't believe how much we learned about Gringana and it's just back to fucking square one.

0

436.187 - 446.221 Unknown

So on paper, you went out, got drunk, got arrested and went home. Yep. On paper. Technically, yes. But I asked to be arrested.

0

446.982 - 454.933 Jack Archdale

Irrespective. On paper, drunk, out, more drunk, arrested, home.

0

455.47 - 467.361 Unknown

Technically, yes. Yeah, correct. I mean, there's a few clauses in there. On paper. But on paper, you're right. On paper. You just need an asterisk, a little star. Don't know what that is. We're on papering it. Well, you'd put that on paper.

0

467.881 - 468.462 Jack Archdale

You're a drunk.

470.224 - 471.124 Unknown

A drunk, Jack.

472.966 - 480.173 Jack Archdale

You're a drunk piece of shit, Dalvin. And a criminal. Getting arrested. Oh, you criminal. Getting arrested on a Tuesday after 13 chardonnays.

480.853 - 482.575 Unknown

It was three.

Chapter 8: How does the episode wrap up with listener engagement?

484.242 - 485.885 Unknown

For God's sake, they were big glasses.

0

485.905 - 486.206 Jack Archdale

Yeah.

0

487.227 - 489.612 Unknown

Yeah. So it was probably technically four and a half.

0

489.632 - 490.533 Jack Archdale

Okay.

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490.553 - 492.357 Unknown

So technically, let's just call it a bottle.

492.818 - 493.679 Jack Archdale

You've had a bottle.

496.244 - 496.344

Yeah.

496.364 - 505.84 Jack Archdale

You've had a bottle. You've had a bottle. But you're proud of you. Hey, everyone, round of applause for Darlene. We got there. It just takes a while. We zigzag through the roads until we get there.

506.101 - 512.676 Unknown

So arrested, bottle of wine. Yep. Tuesday. Tour. Chinese meal.

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