Chapter 1: What humorous stories do Lou and Jack share about their morning routines?
Friday, you ain't got no job, and you ain't got shit to do. Hello, Bedwetters, and welcome back to the We Mean Well podcast, hosted by Louisa Dal-Din and Jack Archdale. Strap yourselves in for what will be a truly insightful and life-changing experience. How you going, Jack?
Really well, how are you?
In good mood?
Yeah, yeah, I am. How are you?
We just had a fight.
Yeah, we just had a little stink. Just before the mics came on, we had a little blue.
We did. But it's all fine now. I told you to do a dance, but you wouldn't.
Nah, not today. But anyhow.
Did you have a bad snooze? Oh, you did. You told me. I saw you this morning.
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Chapter 2: How do Lou and Jack feel about traffic and road rage?
Actually, it was fine. We all got coffees.
Well, just fuck it when you're... When you're already late and then you're dealing with fucking just dumb cunts on the road. It just compounds frustration.
Well, I had a clean run if anyone cares.
That's good.
Not an ounce of traffic.
No, we love that.
Not an ounce. It was blue sky, no one on the road, music blasting. It was really good. Thanks. What a morning. Yeah.
What a morning. Anyway, how are we?
Good. I started a new book. Anyone else been reading?
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Chapter 3: What books are Lou and Jack currently reading?
Like verbatim. Pretty much the same.
No. No, they're not. They change. No, well, you can't fit. The books are too long. So you can't fit a lot of it in the movies. But Ed Liston used to go around. He used to Wikipedia the ending of the books and then blackmail us so he would make us do shit for him so that he wouldn't spoil it. Fucking criminal behaviour.
Yeah, that is pretty rough.
That's fucked up. They're crafty, those Listons.
They are, aren't they?
They're real crafty.
Crafty little fuckers.
Fuck. But that was like the most – those days of like when the Harry Potter books were coming out, I can't remember many more joyous times. Lord of the Rings. No, but they've been out since the 30s.
But the movies for you would have been really special.
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Chapter 4: What are the funniest comments Lou and Jack discuss from social media?
I'll tell you one movie experience that really stood out for me. Remember Jackass 3D? Yes. And the dildos were flying past your head as they were shooting you out of the dildo gun. And I just remember this huge cock like wobbling side to side past my head. I was next to a few of my mates. They kept trying to catch them.
Been there, done that.
Yeah. Was it you? Was it you?
Do you know, funny you speak of jackass, a video popped up on my Instagram and it was the one where they've got the giant hand and they're all walking in early in the morning to the office.
Oh, Bam Margera gets slapped the shit out of him.
Yeah, and Johnny Knoxville's standing there and then he just goes, hey, morning. The other bloke just doof, hits them like a high five.
It's one of the great –
I might start watching Jackass again.
There's a new one coming out.
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Chapter 5: How do Lou and Jack approach the topic of personal grooming?
I think I'd seen that one.
Yeah, you'd liked it.
And I liked it.
Yeah.
And the one that I commented, you commented, is this old woman. She's uploaded a photo and then she's accidentally added like a – Would not believe your eyes. Yeah, and like a video that's her just going, oh, their phone on the ground half like the TV. And Jack's going like, ha-ha, love this. Yeah, fucking brilliant. Yeah. And I commented to me like, surprise, finding you here, mate.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We found – I found this.
Oh, now my whole – and I also saw this other one and it was like a group of finance bros or like – Women as well. They put their hands in the middle and they're like, money Mondays. And everyone's just commenting to me like, can I hand in my resignation?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck, I love the comments. Like I miss who I was 30 seconds ago.
That's the shit. How did I end up here? But yeah, so now I'm involved in all that. So my algorithm will never be the same.
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Chapter 6: What karaoke songs do Lou and Jack plan to perform?
Mm-hmm.
Tinge of ginge. But I'm a huge pussy, so I didn't inherit any of that stuff.
It is crazy you don't grow hair on your head, but so much on your face.
On my fache, yeah.
Do you grow down there? No. You don't mind me asking?
No. Do you grow down there?
You don't mind me asking?
Do you grow down there?
So polite. Do you grow down there?
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Chapter 7: What are Lou and Jack's thoughts on chiropractors?
What? Generates a lot of power in the thrust. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why the kid can pump.
Tin?
Tin. Just clarifying. Yeah. Jack. Yeah, no, no, no. I can imagine. But I'm quite, I'm kind of hairy all over. It doesn't end. I could do a handlebar moustache from here to my toes.
You should grow your beard so long. Become Santa.
I think in my old age I definitely will. When it's white.
Just become like long, long hair to your butt and long beard.
Yeah. Just do it. So you just think cover as much as me as possible. Yeah, just do it. That is probably the smartest option.
Just do it, babe.
Nike. Yeah, I think that's probably the wisest option.
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Chapter 8: How does the episode conclude with a funny story?
No, no, no, no, no. I remember us looking. I don't want to say his name.
Yeah, dude.
He had something. Dude, fuck, this is actually like this.
Can I just clarify? My nipple hairs are tiny. Mine aren't 17 centimetres.
This is like nostalgia. I remember us straightening the fucking thing out. This guy, the photo we're looking at, he sprouted a few nipple hairs. This bloke just had one big long fucker and I'm pretty sure we measured it and at the time we were like, dude, I think that's the longest nipple hair in the world.
It's fucked. Yeah. You'd be kind of disappointed when you plucked it off. Yeah. You'd have to have a funeral for the nipple hair. That's right. Look at that. You want to have a funeral of one of my chin hairs?
Yeah, it feels right. Just singe it off with a lighter?
Is there any at the moment, Jack?
Like, you've got that white hair, but no black hair.
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