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Chapter 1: What humorous insights do the hosts share about movie experiences?
It is Wednesday my dudes.
Hello Bedwetters and welcome back to the We Mean Well podcast hosted by Louise Adal-Din and Jack Archdale. Strap yourselves in for what will be a truly insightful and life-changing experience.
Guess what I watched? Hold on. Well, I haven't finished it. Yeah, but I haven't finished it. So you still haven't finished it. You said to me yesterday you hadn't finished it. You're going to finish it. Well, I got tired last night, so I've got another hour left. It's a long movie. It's not that long. It's 2.45, I think. Is it? Yeah. Is Pulp Fiction that long? Can't believe you haven't seen it.
Hey, Uma Thurman's great. Oh, fuck. I fucking hate your revelations. They're always 40 years too late. Well, at least I get involved. We're such a well-established fucking actress. And now I've fucking heard about Pulp Fiction two days in a row, a movie I've seen probably 12 times. It's great. Yeah, I know it is. Everyone knows it is. Let's not start like this.
Has John Travolta – he looks a little bit – Like rounder. Oh, he's probably younger. I don't know. Filmed in 96. 94. Hey? 94. 32 years ago. True. Fuck. Oh, it's pretty much my movie because I was born in 1993 so it's like similar-esque. Yeah, Lou, see, this is a great- It's my movie. This is exactly how Lou sees the world. Desire to Louisa Dalton. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Wait, did Quentin do that for me? But what would Jack's birth movie be? Did they do that for me? What's Jack's birth movie? Google has it here. Hold on, when was it made? 94. You were born in 93? Yeah, but like close. Jesus Christ. One of the great grabs of all time. One of the great reaches of all time. Can I also say something else? What terrorist attack happened in 1994?
Well, if you're going to apply things that are close to you, buddy. Give me a celebrity that was born. No, Jack, I will say one thing. At Halloween parties, people would always dress as the overdose of Uma Thurman's character, Mia. And I realised that's what it was from. That's not a clap to cut, Willie. That's a clap for me. So I will be, oh, you know what? One piece gone home.
I don't know if I can finish it on my own. He was getting pretty pissed off at the questions. Well, finish it on your own. So you don't have to piss him off. Yeah, but then I'm kind of in my brain going, why is that happening? What's going on here? Finish the fucking movie. Watch the cunt. Can I call you and ask some questions? Watch the movie.
What about just three questions that I could call you and ask? Bro, I'm not even joking. The other day, me and Steph were watching the footy together. We were watching the footy together, right? And... Steph's really into her footy. She's in a tip and comp with a bunch of girls. It's great. She actually fucking loves it. And she loves mostly because the players are hot. Is she AFL or NRL? NRL.
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Chapter 2: How do the hosts compare pizza in Sydney and Melbourne?
There's probably fucking 25-odd people in the class. Oh, smaller than I thought. Joanne says, okay, guys, good to go. You got your dummies in front of you. And she's talking about some of the dangers that, you know, would force people to have to perform CPR. So she's talking, you know, you can have old people, heart attacks, people with heart problems, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
She goes, you know, and she's talking about the 30 and 2, the breath stuff. And she's going, you know, in COVID the whole breath thing sort of stopped.
And she goes, and I get it, you know, if you don't want to do the breath thing, you know, because sometimes people will have seizures, they'll pass out, they've been out drinking all night, you know, they've had their kebab, there's vomit, blah, blah, blah. And she's sort of looking around the class saying all these things. You know, she goes, you know, because people do eat out drinking.
And then she looks directly at me and she goes, or recreational drugs.
What?
And just stares at me in the face. Honestly. She goes, you know, people go out drinking or they do recreational drugs and just look at me. Joanne. And Steph goes, why did you look at him? And the whole class laughed. And I was just like, what the fuck, Joanne? She must have seen you out and about in the East Archdale. Picked me like a snotty nose, Dalton. I could not believe it.
It's like a robot just going. Recreational drugs. Correct. Exactly. You're like, what? I've got 75 hard, bitch. Couldn't believe it. I literally, it was so out of this world. I was like, what the fuck was that? Do I look like a little junkie boy? You've lost all this weight and people just think you're a junkie now? Yeah. Yeah, great. 75 hard just made you look sick. That's exactly what it is.
This is what I believe Joanne saw. She saw me with my pregnant wife walking in late. So this is how I saw it. Walk in. G'day, guys. Good to see you. Sorry, man. So sorry for being late. Do I just sign myself off here? Yeah. Jacko, I'll tick you off too, mate. Don't worry. Just signed us off on the sheet. Cheers, guys. Once again, my apologies, not my intent.
Just a bit of a confusion with the entry point. Anyway, here now. Good to start the class. This is what Joanne's saying. Sorry. Sorry, guys. Fucking did we tick on the paper here? Have you got a pen? Yeah, fuck yeah, I'll tick that. How you doing? Oh, fuck, some good lookers in here. Anyway, I might go hit the pipe quickly so I can fucking be full dedicated to this class.
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Chapter 3: What funny anecdotes do the hosts share about their experiences with CPR?
Because that's the problem with Italian pizzas. You pick them up and they just, you pick them up by the end and it just flops. Especially if you get them delivered. Yeah. What I do is at home, when I order the pizza, I chuck the oven on. So as soon as it arrives, I chuck it in the oven. It's already preheated. In there for five minutes. Chris-type everything. It's perfect.
I reckon, honestly, Lockie will say that at least twice a week when he comes to Sydney. He goes, nothing will beat Pizza High's shit pizzas in Sydney. Nah, you can't fucking beat Pizza Hall. Okay. It sounds like a man with convictions. It's like not much is going to change his mind. No, probably not. Yes, red light, green lights, Jack. Okay. Well, I'd love, I guess I'd love a jingle. Oh, yeah.
I guess I'd love a red light, green light jingle, Louisa. I feel like we haven't done these in a while. We haven't done red light, green lights in a while. Red, oh, red. Green, oh, green. Forgot about John. On that note about him calling, accidentally having them on the floor, I nearly had a real stuff up the other day with Steph.
We're in at home and maybe talking to each other the way that couples sometimes do. You know, excuse me. I thought you were going to say having a fight. No, no, no. Like talking to each other, which you don't want your mates to hear. You know what I mean? And I looked at my phone and I'd been recording a voice memo to one of the boys.
And I literally hit the cross and it was literally like, you know when those cunts in movies are like snipping the red wire for the bomb and it might be the wrong one? I was like, oh, my God, if I somehow hit this sense, my life is over. They're keeping that screen recording. There was a little heat packs filter. He's going to be a warm little senorita. Talk to her like I talk to the bedwetters.
Or a dog. Yeah, dogs. That's where Senorita started. That was literally us when we went to go see that corgi at Bondi Junction. You're going, excuse me. Oh, yeah, God. You know, he's still there. The one I was going to get. Nah, we're not talking about it. No, we can't because, yeah, nah. He's still there. Anyway, done enough. Okay, red light, green light. He was on his own.
Okay, are the other two gone? Yeah. I might have to get the canter. Imagine if Charles got Tim before I got Tim. Maybe you could foster him in the interim and then. He's on his own. Double doggy. Okay, enough. I need my country to come back out. Fuck the dog. Imagine a puppy and a baby and Brutus. It'd be so fun. It'd be sick. The fire's going, no, no. Trust me, no. All right.
Okay, do you want to? You start, darling. You start, darling. Okay. Red light, green light, cutting your own hair at home. Green. Same. I've done it. But not a full cut, but like I cut Charlie O'Sullivan's bangs once after a couple of drinks. Why the fuck would she let you do that?
Oh.
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Chapter 4: How do the hosts discuss the impact of personal habits on relationships?
And just drop the bag on the ground. Cunt. If I ever saw someone doing that in real life, it'd be fucking on site. On site. I'd kiss them, like, on site. Means I'd flog the fuck out of them. Right. Okay, give me one, darling. Red light, green light. Deleting a post if it flops. I've done it. Green. I've done it. You know what? Red. I used to do it because I like. You cared. No, no. Yeah, no.
I didn't like believe in myself enough. Now I'm just like if I think the idea is funny, it's going up and if it goes shit, it goes shit. If it goes well, it goes well. Fuck the cotton. You know? Yeah, I've definitely done it. Do you still do it? No, not anymore. Mama. Promise, I don't. Mama. I had one that flopped not too long ago. I was just like, oh, whatever. It's up now.
Hey, welcome to Mother Hage. Yeah. Hey. You ever been on the Lou and Jarge's page? You ever done a We Mean Well? You ever been on Jarge 89? Mate, you've got to – it's all about – Just pumping it out. Just leave it. Just leave the cunt. But I definitely have. Oh, I definitely have. I'll go through an archive a fair few from back in the day where I'm like, whoa, that ain't a good pic.
Get rid of that. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Do you remember Tom and Eddie made me do the last Hacker Major? They were like, somebody wins a prize for posting the cringiest photo about your work day. Yeah. And I've left it up. Oh, yeah, that's funny. People think it's real though. I'm pouting. No, that's powerful stuff, Willow. Yeah, dude, fuck it.
Like me circa Bali, which was about 2022, not a good time for Lulu. Why? Remember how I looked? I think you looked great. Don't mmm everyone. You looked healthy and fresh. No, I really did not look healthy. I had big bags under my eyes. Not in Bali. They'll shoot you for that. No, Jack, under my eyes. Yes, sorry. Not narcotics. Dude, I've had them.
Look, just because you're not going to, until I show you a photo of what I'm actually talking about, then we can shut you down. I've honestly had these bags under my eyes. I looked at old child photos since I was probably nine or ten. I just think I'm one of the people. See, I was not healthy, Jack. You don't look great there, Louisa. And I think it's because are you hung over there? Probably.
I was in Bali with Tor for two weeks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I don't know if you've chosen the best example to represent you at the time. A bit of Violet Beauregard about that, if you know your Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. No, it just wasn't a healthy time for me. Red light, green light. Willie, I think you'll enjoy this one. Not putting your weights back in the proper spots in the gym.
Red. Fucking red. If any of you cunts out there just put your fucking weights back in the wrong slots, like, oh, I've got the 22s. I'm going to put them where the 8s go. No, but I've got to – Fuck off. No, I don't. I'll leave the podcast. Tell me what we do if there's only one space left in all of them. Like, say there's like a 10kg, an 8kg, a 6, a 4, all in different spots.
would you move all of them around or would you just move your one? Like say I'd move the four. I'm not there to recalibrate the entire rack, but if I've got two 12s and there's 22s, I'm putting the 22s back where the 22s are and the 12s back where the 12s are. Okay. Absolutely. I'll rearrange because it'll fuck me off.
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Chapter 5: What are the hosts' views on social media and public perception?
Yep. So you can earn 80 grand a year. And you could also put some of it into like shares. You'd take the million because if you put that in, you're earning 80 grand a year, which is more than you're earning with the $1,000 a week anyway because you're getting taxed on that $1,000 a week, I'd assume. Put a deposit down on a house, bang, happy days.
Yeah, but even just let that money work for you and then just work your normal life. You got to work, bitch. Earn a job. Earn a living off your job. Have that sitting there. You earn an 80 grand a year off that shit. Now, that's going to go up more and more. In two years, that's fucking, what, 120 grand you earn in a year? Yep. I knew someone who won it really young about that.
Was smart, put it with investors and all that really early. Happy days now. Not like happy, but like a lot of savings. Yeah, did the opposite. Got a payout from a work like 800 grand and just like fucking, just drilled piss for fucking 10 years and it's all gone. Hey. Was that your dad? Different friends. Yeah. Willie, what's the consensus on the debate? Well, people are split. Are they?
Because a lot of people are like, you know, because obviously $1,000. If you do live a long life, eventually it'll work out. Well, of course. I don't know. But then you just look at that and then most people are just like, well, the future's not guaranteed. Of course. I think you can start earning money quicker with the million. I agree. Than the fucking grand a week. 100%. Yeah.
If you're smart with it, got the right people around you to sort of tell you where to invest, what to do, I would do it. Guys, if you got your million dollars, I would personally do that. Okay, we'll do that then. It's funny though, the comments were getting so catty and fiery. You're actually a fucking idiot. Yeah, this is why. People are so cranky at each other on the internet. I love it.
Can everyone just get along and love? Probably not. I love how we're saying that and we literally have a segment where we talk shit about people on the internet. Oh, fuck this guy, dude. Oh, dude. So funny. Yeah, interesting, Willie. Okay. I like those. Little debate. Little debates. Thank you, mate. That's all right. Just move that for me. Yeah, well, I needed it. You needed it too.
How good is this, Taylor? What a great investment. Okay, should we hear from the bedwetters? Yeah, let's do some hotlines. Do some hotties? Through the things. Oh, shit. I want to ride my bicycle. I want to ride my bike. Rubs the lotion on the skin. Dude, put that voice changer on Lou. Yeah, put the voice changer on me, Lou. Put it on her. Please put the voice changer on me. We got the hot lines.
We got the hot lines. Give us the hot lines, Willie. Great. That was a great intro. Thanks so much. Great jingle. Okay. I really need to pee. Okay. All right, hotties. Sorry, I got distracted. No, that's fine. That's all right. Roses are red, violet and lulu. One has a large kid. The other stinks of poo-poo. Peace out, you mad rooters. Mad rooters. One has a large kid, one stinks of poo-poo.
Yeah, fuck, that's funny. Yeah, we don't know. Technically, I'm Lou's child. Me and child walk around. Too true. That's fucking great. That's good stuff. Hold on. Willie, do a Roses of Red. Oh, don't put them on the spot. Yeah, fuck it. I love on the spot Roses of Red. Roses of Red. Lulu likes cash. Oh, no. Oh, no. Josh, he thinks he's a mad rooter, but he doesn't get any cash. Roses of Red.
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Chapter 6: How do the hosts navigate debates about money and financial choices?
Jesus. See you guys on the Patreon. We love you. Sorry, John. That's not what I wanted to do either, John, but if you ever complain about us again, I'll visit. Oh, no. See you on the Patreon. Great last hotline. That was a ripper. It was really funny. Keep pissing. Love yous. Ah, fuck off. Why are you putting a voice on when the voice is on?
Oh, was I? Yeah.
Yeah. All right.
Thank you for listening and as always, keep pissing.