#373 - Spreadin’ Cheeks!
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What’s the opening banter and the story behind Wumpy’s birthday gift?
Friday, you ain't got no job, and you ain't got shit to do. Hello, Bedwetters, and welcome back to the We Mean Well podcast, hosted by Louisa Daldin and Jack Archdale. Strap yourselves in for what will be a truly insightful and life-changing experience. Spring
bubs, spring bubs.
Well...
We're all little spring bubs.
How was Wumpy's birthday?
Really good.
What'd you give him?
I got him a commissioned, is it called commissioned painting?
Yeah, it is.
Yeah, so I got him a commissioned painting and it had like pest trays and it had Seinfeld and it had pasta and it had him and I and it had Boho and Violet Town, his like favourite farm towns back in Victoria, Carlton Draft, like some nice colours. And I'm so kind, I let him put it up in his little office. Fucking
wow. Holy shit. So what a leash you've given him.
No, I actually got it made specifically for him. That makes it sound
like it's not a season. I'm so kind. I let him put it up in his office.
But it's really cute. Upon review though, if I decide I don't like it, I shall be replacing it. It shall be gone. It shall be gone.
Because we got him a nice like oak desk and then a little blue swivel chair.
So you did get a fancy desk. You didn't get just a fucking shitty little fucking. It's
like, it's not fancy.
But oak.
Yeah, it's like a dark wood jack.
You don't know if it's oak or not. But it's a dud. It's a dark wood desk. Yeah, it's
a nice dark wood
desk. It's not like a plastic fucking thing that he wanted with screw in legs. Oh,
fuck no. But then he was like, please, can I pick the chair? I was like, yeah, you can pick the chair. And I was like, what about this one? This one's nice. And he's like, oh, that looks squishy and comfy. I'm like, yeah,
it is, isn't it? Manipulate your way into,
yeah. So now he's got the little, because he got a blue MacBook.
A blue MacBook.
You know, like the, what are they called, the desktop ones?
Yeah, I've got a green one.
Yeah, yeah, there you go, you cute little matching twins.
Wow, we're
mints. And then he's got his little print above that.
Beautiful. Hey, hey, hey, can I tell you something? You did a real good job with that. That was a very thoughtful present. Thanks. You know what I mean? A lot of thought went into that. You commissioned him a fucking artwork that had all his favourite things in it. What a lovely thing. What was the artist's name?
Jessie Fitosia? Jessie
Fitosia. I
think. She's in Adelaide. So we got one made, commissioned by her.
What? You can look it up.
Nah, her name's Samantha Green.
No, it's definitely, I just don't know how to say her last name. Jessie.
Jessie Fotosia.
I was right, Fotosa.
Fotosa.
J-E-S-S-I-E-F-E-I-T-O-S-A.
Fotosa, beautiful. Well, shout out to Jessie Fotosa, great job.
Yeah, and she, like I just thought it's a great gift and you have it for your whole life.
That's
correct. And then I got him some pants that weren't really him. I'm kind of trying to.
Yeah, that's, Steph tried this early on with me too.
It's not that early.
It's not early on, but like.
They suit him. What
are they, linen?
No, they're like a thick, a thick cotton. And they're just a little bit more oversized than his usual junk in the trunk
pants. He's not an oversized baggy boy.
They're not baggy, baggy,
Jack. It sounds like you're trying to make him into a little Bondi fuckboy.
Fuck no.
Next thing you know, he'll have a mesh singlet tucked into those pants with his nipples poking through four chains and like one of them little hats and he just starts, it's no longer, hey, g'day, hello, how are ya? It's, um. Hey, man. Brosco. Man, what the flip, man? Dopest fucking house we just built. Yeah, we've got the mad offo, got the painting up on the wallsies.
You meet him for a drink at Club Roseway and he's like, two Palomas, thanks.
I'm like, brother, I'm the fucking Metro boy here. I start trying to out Metro him. Now I've got- Two margaritas. I've got mesh singlet and pants with my nipples and cock poking through the mesh. I'm arrested for public indecency. I'm going to pop the toddy spread. Fuck you, babe. I've gone to Metro. All I eat now is bruschetta. And burrata.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
What’s the opening banter and the story behind Wumpy’s birthday gift?
0:00–8:01
2
How did the hosts describe Wumpy’s Rod & Gun obsession and the office makeover?
8:01–18:00
3
What crazy plane‑flight nightmare did Jarchy experience on the Queenstown trip?
18:00–28:27
4
Why do the hosts keep returning to the “spreading your wife’s cheeks” joke and how does it evolve?
28:27–39:55
5
How does the karaoke segment unfold and what song does Lu perform?
39:55–50:31
6
What are the hotlines, ads, and sponsor shout‑outs that break up the conversation?
50:31–58:49