We Might Be Drunk
Trevor Wallace & Michael Blaustein w/ Sam Morril & Mark Normand - We Might Be Drunk Podcast
11 May 2026
Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Eggs at this hour?
Eh, I like eggs. I like eggs too. What's wrong with eggs in the afternoon?
Are we starting on that?
Yeah, let's go. All right, eggs. I like an egg in the afternoon.
Hell yeah. Freeze your eggs. Yeah? No. Anybody freezing their eggs is... In trouble? Well, they're... It might be a career gal. They're not excited.
They're not excited?
I don't think so.
What does that mean?
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Chapter 2: Why do people freeze their eggs?
I think they're like, let me shelf this. Literally, they're shelving it. They're shelving it, yeah. Otherwise, you'd want to get pounded and jizzed in.
Yeah, but some people have demanding jobs. That's true. What if we're talking like a road comic, a female road comic? Maybe she's not ready.
All right, all right. Good point, bud. We know a lot of female comics with kids.
Yeah.
Who didn't freeze?
True.
I'm just saying if you freeze, I think that you're more likely to go, ah, you know what, screw it.
So you're saying freeze, never good. Oh.
I'm saying. Cops, they say freeze, you're in trouble. I'm doing Seinfeld now. Mr. Freeze. Mr. Freeze. Chill out.
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Chapter 3: What are the challenges of being a female road comic?
I just know a lot of people have frozen, and then they never did anything with it.
Yeah, but then what's the harm in it?
No harm.
I'm not saying there's harm.
It's like hoarding, but for... It's hoarding. So there is a debate on whether or not frozen eggs, you can destroy them. Is that an abortion? Is that a life? It's definitely the step before the abortion. I don't think it's an abortion. No, because I believe they're fertilized eggs if you have the man. Ooh. Yeah. Oh. So it's actually technically a kid to some people. Is that right?
So you bring jizz in and they put it in the egg? Yes. Wow. That's a fun little science experiment.
See, I'm so stupid. I thought you freeze the egg and you put the jizz in later.
I believe you can do both.
I thought so, too.
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Chapter 4: How does the conversation shift to jizz etiquette?
You can't go that casual to a funeral.
No tie, Hawaiian shirt, and no. His dad is a deadbeat, so no tie is appropriate. Was it your dad?
Yeah, I mean to bring the mood down I mean it's pretty basic. I'm not good at this.
Why are you going no look? Okay, here we go. Now you're looking. Oh, you got it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You nailed it. Oh, yeah.
That's a guy who's done a corporate gig once or twice.
Oh, yeah, or a brisk. How's that? Not bad. Not bad. I mean, honestly, it's pretty good. From the spot, Jason? Yeah.
I might have gone too long on the tail here.
Avril Lavigne looks terrible.
Why do we have a tie?
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Chapter 5: What are the benefits of alternating between sauna and ice baths?
Go sauna, go like 20 minutes. Love sauna. But super duper hot and then go into the cold. So it doesn't hurt as bad. Got it.
I'm the opposite. Sauna takes too long. I'm sitting there in pain for 30 minutes. Ice bath, you're there hating yourself for two minutes, but then you feel great after. I'm just all about whatever's quickest and fastest.
Do you put the head in? At the end. Depends on. Whoa.
Yeah. That feels dangerous. Do it at the end. Go four minutes, and then the last, like, 30 seconds, I just dunk.
Four minutes is an eternity in that thing.
You have to do four minutes. You have a minute the first time. All right, all right, all right. I'll do a minute. Do 30 seconds. Just like sex. You start 30 seconds, and you advance to go two minutes. You know what I mean?
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Chapter 6: How do comedians perceive the Cybertruck after driving it?
And then you go to children. It's fine. Hold on. Guy who takes over the company. No, and then you, dude, anything else you've trashed that then you were like, this is kind of cool?
The Cybertruck. I made a video about how annoying those guys are because it's all like tech bros who want to be like alpha guys. It's very like Vest and all that. And I think they look awful. They look like a doorstopper. And then I was driving one for the video. And once you're in the car, you're like, oh, it's kind of sick. Oh, really? The inside feels cool. It feels like an open truck.
It feels like a modern day truck.
Can you pull up the interior? I've never seen it.
Just gonna say, I've never seen the inside. It is bulletproof too, right?
I think the doors are heavy as fuck. I think there was that one flip up, but then, yeah. But there's that guy, have you seen that guy on social, whatever, on all the social medias who he'll shoot bullets through everything?
No.
Different gauge bullets. You never seen this guy? He's like, we're gonna start with like, you know, whatever. He works his way up to like a 45, then he does like a slug. Is it Alec Baldwin? No, he just did it once, unfortunately. Okay, got it. But, yeah, no, and he couldn't penetrate it, so. Really?
Damn, look at that. It's pretty sleek in there. It's kind of cool, but you feel, like, big on the road. Yeah. So I get that allure to it. I saw a tweet that was so funny that was like, you've never seen a family in a Cybertruck.
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Chapter 7: What challenges do comedians face when working on new material?
Four. That's actually not that bad. What's that average? 3.2? I don't know how to do math. 3.25 per child?
I mean, Thanksgiving is going to be weird. Sure. But Nick Cannon, I feel like it's a lot of different baby mamas. He's got 12, I think. Jesus Christ.
12 baby mamas or kids? Kids, kids.
I mean, that's a whole basket. Like, that's a basketball team. And the bench, yeah. It's a roster. That is a really good job.
With a deep bench. That's fucking crazy.
That's OKC for sure. Good for him. Wow.
So the Cybertruck, it's fast as hell, too. Yeah. It picks up.
Dude, it's like zero to six in like three seconds or something stupid. I mean, all those cars. I had a Tesla beforehand. It's ridiculous. It's stupid.
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Chapter 8: How do comedians navigate the pressure of audience expectations?
Yeah. It's just all pickup. There's like no gears.
It's an iPad on wheels, and it just feels dangerous driving them fast because they don't feel like a car that has the grounding and the terrain. You're just floating. Damn. Are they considered safe cars or no? I don't know.
Tesla is for sure.
Is it? Yeah, Tesla, definitely.
Volvo used to be the whole thing, like we're safe, and now it's like every car is pretty safe. Yeah, yeah.
But it's just weird because Tesla features so much on the features. It's like, yeah, you can put a fireplace on your dashboard. I don't trust the safety if you're putting a fireplace.
Yeah, they have fart noises on that thing. Exactly. It's weird. But I have a 52-year-old car. Are you leaving? Yeah. All right, take it easy. Better go goon. Yeah, he's going to that hotel. I have an old BMW, and I drive this thing on the highway, and it shakes and jitters. There's no airbags. It barely has seatbelts. You can't believe old ladies were driving these. Goddamn.
Is it power steering?
no god no no power steer you're used to it when you're moving it's fine but when you're like parallel parking and doing that shit it's embarrassing but just the fact that that was a normal car in 1973 is wild do you have any up to i know you can take an old car and then put some like modifications on it to make it more modern do you have any of that no nothing i should do that but i like the original airbags in there or something
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