You Make Good Money, So Why Do You Feel So Out of Control?

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Wealthy After 40: Retirement Planning and Budgeting for Gen X 17 min 1 speaker 7 chapters transcribed 1 month ago
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

Dalene Higgins 0:06
Welcome to the Wealthy After 40 podcast, the show for Gen X women and couples who are ready to ditch financial stress and feel confident about retirement. I'm your host, Dailene Higgins, money coach and retirement strategist, to help you gain clarity and confidence with your money by creating a spending plan that aligns with your financial goals and dreams so you can spend intentionally, save consistently, and feel at peace about your future. Join me every week to understand your money, simplify your decisions, and take intentional steps toward the life you want.

Why do I feel out of control with money even though I make good money?

Dalene Higgins 0:49
Okay, so you might be thinking, I make good money, but why do I feel like I am overspending? Or man, I just spend so much. And you feel out of control with your money. even though there's no appearances of struggle, right? When you check your bank account, you've got money, even right up to payday, no worries. If you use your credit card, you have the money to pay it off, regardless of the balance jumping around. Bills are paid. You're making contributions to retirement. So really you're not in crisis, right? right? Like somebody else might have a stated pointed, I have way too much debt or I can't make my bills, right? It's a different problem. Even as you're checking this, you have this feeling of why does it feel like I'm spending too much?
Dalene Higgins 1:52
I don't, if I could just get my spending under control, I would feel better. That's what I heard from a client I worked with. And I've heard it from several others. And I know last episode, we talked about spending, overspending with Spending Coach. And that looks different than what this is stating, right?

Could discipline or a stricter budget actually be the wrong fix for my money worries?

Dalene Higgins 2:19
Or than other problems that over, quote, overspending might lead us to. But if you think about, are you thinking when you swipe your card? Are you looking at the balance? How much did it truly cost? Oh, that Amazon package or the other package? Oh, I had to have those. Oh, did I really have to have those? You're saying yes to things with the girls, with friends, with whoever. You're like, yeah, we want to go do that. Yep, let's go do that. Without maybe checking your numbers, checking your situation, having those things balance the feeling. And there's a slight tension every time you log into, whether you're looking at your credit card or your bank, and you're like, oh, is it still going to be okay? Because you have that little bit of worry, that little bit of, I am overspending.
Dalene Higgins 3:16
Oh, this is going to cause a problem someday, right? So you have that little bit of anxiety. Every time you go to check, you're waiting for The flashing problem, right?

What does 'stable yet unsettled' money look like and why does it happen?

Dalene Higgins 3:29
You think if I just could figure out what it is, if I could just see what the problem was of why I feel this way. And you may have tried these things, or you might be thinking these things, that you need a better budget. Or maybe you need a budget. Maybe you haven't. So you're like, that's what I need to do. Or the real common one. I hear this very often in all situations. I just need more discipline. Or you might just be telling yourself, I just need to stop spending so much. I just won't spend so much next time. Or I should have more control. I've never had control of my spending. It's common to just kind of like make this be like, this is the problem. This is why. And it's me. You're thinking, well, it's me.
Dalene Higgins 4:17
It's I should be in more control. I need more discipline. I need a better budget. So if I could just tighten things up, that's going to help me feel better. That is the solution. And like I said, this is really common. This is a common problem, common struggle that I hear from women and couples in their 40s and 50s. We're in our careers. We're making good money. We have done this journey for a while and still not quite feeling like everything's in alignment. And honestly, you're not irresponsible and you're not bad with money. Because it is so easy to say, well, it's me. I make really good money, so it's me. I should be able to live off of this and this should make me feel good.

Why do I feel guilt or anxiety after normal purchases like groceries or gas?

Dalene Higgins 5:14
That's really a common theme. If I just had this or if I just had that.

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