Chapter 1: What are the current weather conditions in Night Vale?
Hi all, it is Jeffrey Cranor and I'm here to let you know that Welcome to Night Vale is coming to Europe. Just for a little bit, May 27th through the 30th, 2026, we will be in Edinburgh, Manchester, London and Amsterdam. In that order. So if you live over there, get your tickets. They are on sale now. We're so excited to bring this newest live show, Murder Night in Blood Forest.
Chapter 2: How is the community adapting to the sandstorm?
to Europe, to the UK. It's so much fun to get back there and to keep doing the show because it is such a fun show to do and to see. So, Europe, we will see you at the end of May. Tickets are available at welcometonightvale.com slash live. Oh, and if you like other Welcome to Night Vale things beyond just the podcast and live show, we also have the Night Vale tabletop role-playing game.
It's available in stores wherever you get your games. This RPG was created by Renegade Games with collaboration with me and Joseph and Bree, the writers of Night Vale. It's quirky, it's spooky, it's fun, you know, just like this show.
Chapter 3: What educational activities are happening at home during the storm?
So if you ever wanted to be a character in Night Vale and do freaky adventures there, then get on this. You can get the Night Vale tabletop RPG wherever you get your games. Okay, let's get on to the episode. And hey, thanks.
You can't undo what has been done, but you can pretend it didn't happen. Welcome to Night Vale. There's a sandstorm in Night Vale today, which has made the roads really dangerous. The sanitation department is out there now pouring ice and sleet everywhere to try to prevent the sand from building up.
We're expecting four to six inches of sand, along with wind gusts up to 25 miles per hour, so schools are closed, as are most workplaces. Though, there's still that dilapidated house near Larry Leroy out on the edge of town that still seems to be open despite the treacherous conditions. It's not even really a house so much as three and a half walls barely supporting each other and no roof.
Still, there are lights on in the windows and people there. The people at the dilapidated house walk inside and then different people walk out minutes later. I think it's an art gallery or an escape room or something.
Chapter 4: What events are scheduled in the Night Vale community calendar?
Anyway, that place is still open, but everywhere else in town is closed because of the sandstorm. The roads are not safe, Night Vale, what with the high winds and the thick sand covering the streets. And all our doppelgangers plodding through the dusty haze with murder flickering like bonfires in their eyes. My husband Carlos, who is the bravest scientist who ever lived, closed his labs today.
Even I, the most intrepid radio journalist alive, am having to do my show from home. Though I did ask my producer, Elise, to go up to the station so that she could patch my ISDN line through to the radio tower. Thanks, Elise. Well...
Chapter 5: How does the community handle career opportunities during a storm?
We'll discuss a raise at your next performance review, Elise. But for now, I hope everyone other than Elise and the people milling about the dilapidated house are staying safe inside, conducting their work over Zoom or Slack or Hinge or whatever the big tech sites are these days. Personally, I find a work from home day kind of nice because I get to see my family.
Carlos right now is teaching our son Esteban about plants. They're growing an avocado plant from a seed on the windowsill. Carlos is explaining how plant life grows from seeds. In fact, how all life is a miracle of science that each of us grows from tiny cells into a full person.
Chapter 6: What films are being showcased at the Night Vale Cinemaplex?
Esteban looks pretty incredulous. It's very cute when he's trying to understand something new. He frowns and furrows his brow, and you can see his eyes narrow. He's quite the determined little guy. Well, I'm here to report the news, not describe how adorable my boy is. Let's have a look at the community calendar.
Chapter 7: What new evidence has emerged in the murder investigation?
Wednesday night is the Winter Recital at Elegant Sally's Kitchen Supply Store and Dance Studio, the downtown location. There will be performances by all of her classes, from the five-year-old creative movement kids all the way up to the teenagers who are in advanced ballet. They'll be performing pieces from master choreographers Martha Graham, Alvin Ailey, José Limón, and Renata Bliss.
The winning teams at Wednesday night's recital will be promoted to the professional Night Vale Ballet Theater. The losing teams will be relegated to Swank Jim's Choreography Warehouse and Kitchen Utensil Outlet, the one by the airport. Thursday afternoon is a career fair over at the Rec Center.
Professionals from dozens of fields will be on hand to meet those seeking work or looking into new careers. There will be seminars on hot topics in business right now, like how to brace yourself for layoffs, and human resources are your besties. Girl, you can tell us anything.
Of course, dozens of companies will have booths where candidates can talk to those representatives and even hand in a resume that will be carefully ignored and then shredded and used as bedding for the CEO's guinea pig breeding tank, the one he raises to feed his pet boa constrictor. No jobs will be offered at the career fair. Friday night is karaoke night at the post office.
George Dunham, Night Vale's postmaster, said he thought it was a waste to close the post office every day at 4 p.m., so why not have a daytime business and a nighttime business at the same location? You see it all the time with those dance studio and kitchen supply store combos, he said. Dunham added the post office doesn't have a license to sell alcohol, so it's BYOB.
They also don't have a karaoke machine. But he's pretty good at guitar, and he knows all the popular songs, like that famous one by Jason Isbell, and a couple of other Jason Isbell numbers, specifically the slower Jason Isbell songs that mostly use open chords. So, come on down to the post office this Friday night.
Saturday afternoon, the Night Vale Cinemaplex will be showing Oscar-nominated short films. Of course, you'll see all the animated, live-action, and documentary shorts from 2025's slate.
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Chapter 8: How does the episode conclude with a new intern joining the team?
But also some classics from yesteryear, like Bimdob the Kleptomaniac Dragon from Finland, a groundbreaking doc called Beneath the Village Green, the Left-Handed Astrology Cults of Midland Odessa, and maybe my favorite live action short of all time, Beyond Here Nothing, and maybe not even that.
It's about two young people who set out to prove the earth is flat by walking to its edge, but along the way they fall for each other, and it is through the power of love that they come to understand that the world is, in fact, round. that all things are round. Everything is a sphere. The earth, marbles, love, waffles, cats, filet mignon, potato chips.
They get married and have a baby, who is a perfect sphere. And they live alone in a house that looks like a volleyball and raise chickens that also look like volleyballs. It's very romantic. Finally, this Sunday is the day that the prophecy mentioned. This is according to a press release sent to me by Harrison Kipp.
And I can't tell if he's announcing it as adjunct archaeology professor at Night Vale Community College, or if it's got something to do with that religion of his. It sounds like the latter. Either way, he just says, but here, I'll read you the whole thing and you can make up your own mind what he's getting at. This Sunday is the day our great prophecy has long predicted.
Observe Sunday, devotees and derelicts alike, for it shall be as has been foretold. I mean, that could be anything, right? End of the world? An eclipse? A sale at the Toyota dealership? Come on, Harrison, help us out here. I don't know, maybe I should give his show, The Twilight Gospel Hour, a listen someday.
But when you work in radio, it's like listening to the radio just feels like you're still at work. This has been the Community Calendar. I'm getting an update from the sanitation department that the ice they've been pouring over the roads doesn't actually melt the sand. They got it backwards, so there's a mudslide on Route 800 on the southbound slope to Exit 4.
The wind is really picked up outside, so mudslide or not, Night Vale, I'd stay indoors for the next several hours. Also, as is usual for a sandstorm, I can see everyone's doubles out there on the hunt for flesh. thin black shadows shambling through the dust clouds. In fact, I can see the faint outline of two men and a little boy standing just on the edge of our lawn, staring at our house.
I cannot make out faces, but I think I already know what they look like. Speaking of doubles, I heard from Dana Cardinal, our former mayor and current amateur detective. She's found some new details into the murders of the angel, formerly known as Marcus Vanston, as well as the stabbing death of Jalen Rutherford at the radio station, as he was trying to apply for an internship.
Dana said she looked up Rutherford's LinkedIn account, which I think is a dating app. Like I said, I don't know all these tech sites. But not only was Jalen a business student at Night Vale Community College, but his previous employment was part-time bookkeeping for Marcus Vanston, the Angel. So, we have a connection between the two murder victims.
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