Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
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Well, hello.
Chapter 2: What challenges did Karah face growing up with an incarcerated father?
My name is Kara and I am from a small town called Owensboro, Kentucky. And... I am here to kind of just explain my story and my childhood and just to bring awareness to children with incarcerated parents and any child that has to grow up, you know, maybe not in a great home setting, so to speak, or childhood trauma, you know, and whatever face that might look like for them.
I'm going to tell the story. I guess I'm going to go into it with all the like brutal things that may have happened at first, because that's going to kind of set the tone of how the whole storyline plays out, how it affected my mom, how it infected my dad and how it affected my two brothers. So I am the baby girl of two older brothers who I absolutely adore.
I think the world of my brothers, they have been my true real life heroes. Honestly, I don't know where I would be without both of them and to know what we have had to go through and for them to know what they have seen a little bit more firsthand maybe than I have and to see how they are today.
is a Mac is beautiful it is the most I can't I don't sometimes I can't even put it into words like how much because I just I'm still in awe I still sit back I'm like oh my gosh Yeah, that's amazing. Yes. So my dad was in prison my whole life for 32 years. I'll be 33 next month. He was in and out of prison. And he actually recently died. It was a year ago, around about a year ago.
And I unfortunately did not get to make amends meet with him either. So... But that's okay. It's all good.
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Chapter 3: How did addiction impact Karah's family dynamics?
But like I said, I'm going to start back to the beginning and kind of let, I'm going to set the tone and then we'll go into this.
And you're probably about to answer this anyway, if you're about to start at the beginning. But so when you were born, he was already in prison.
Yes. Okay. So when he had went to prison when I was three months old. Okay. I was three months old, my brother was five, and my other brother was ten years old. And my mom, and it was my mom. Growing up, my mom never lied to us. My dad went to prison for manslaughter self-defense. So, that's where it all started. I'm going to go into the kind of person my dad was.
My dad loved to live life on the edge. He loved the fast life. But anything that thrilled him, anything that may have brought him adrenaline, anything from what I've been told, he went after. My dad was... My dad never really had like a normal job, so to speak. My dad was heavily into maybe some things that aren't considered normal by any means.
In lack of better terms, my dad was a very big drug dealer. Very big drug dealer. So my mom sold all the stories that I have been told my whole life. My mom told me that just that my dad was just on drugs. And probably about two years before I was born, he just kind of went crazy. That he was going wild. He wasn't coming home.
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Chapter 4: What led to the tragic event in Karah's father's life?
He wasn't finding nothing good that was offered to him. Yeah. He was running around and cheating on my mom a lot. My mom, you know, was working, taking care of two boys and was pregnant. So I'm going to start off with like the night that my dad had committed, I guess, the murder, lack of better terms. So and I'm going to start off with the very day because I do know that like by heart.
So they wake up. My family does. And it's a normal day. My brothers go to school and my mom comes back home and is getting ready for work. My dad is not home at the time. My dad isn't home at the time. And he pops up.
So my brother Ron had told me he remembers this specifically, that he remembers my dad arriving home that day because he had went to school, which was just right down the street from where we lived. And he heard like my dad's car and like heard the tires. And he said, I just remember looking outside the window at Philpott Elementary School and he knew something was bad.
And he told me, he said, Kara, I kept calling home that day. I kept calling home. I knew and nobody was answering. So just to jump right back into it, my dad gets home and it's mid-morning and mom said he's just going off, like he's going crazy, which I'm sure is from coming off of drugs, from detoxing, this, that, and the third. Yeah.
So my dad gets into it with my mom and my mom is like fighting back, just trying to get away from him so she can finish getting ready for work. And then he pulls a gun out on her. And mind you, I was on the bed. I was three months old.
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Chapter 5: How did Karah cope with her father's imprisonment and its effects on her childhood?
So he held my mom at gunpoint the morning that this happened. So my mom said she remembers being in the kitchen, rolling her hair. And the next thing she knows, she's down on the ground and he has the gun. pointed into her stomach. She said that she was under the gun. I can't remember how long, but it was a couple of hours. It was a couple of hours.
That he was just holding her down there?
He was just holding her down there. He was straddled on top of her. I can't remember what... What was the discussion behind that but she remembers telling me shit because I had talked to her I'm like mom like what had happened that day like what were you know this that? Yeah, figuring out what was going on And she said Kara.
I just kept praying She said I just kept praying and I kept telling on hey Dwight. I love you. Why are you doing this? I love you. We have kids like don't do this. What are you doing? We're gonna get out of it. Everything's gonna be okay and I'm going to back up a little bit and start off with saying that my dad never got a fair chance, in my opinion, at life.
Because I remember asking my mom, why are all of his brothers and sisters so successful, but he couldn't be? And she said, Kara, he was hit by a car when he was three years old, and it caused him to have lifelong epilepsy.
and ever since then he was not treated well at all and then there was one time I know that my mom said my dad my I'm sorry my grandpa had showed up at home and my dad was like tied to the tree because he was being bad his like mom kept him you know tied to the tree because she couldn't handle him so and it's just
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Chapter 6: What was the significance of Karah's relationship with her brothers during their childhood?
I think that's kind of where... His background wasn't great. Right. Yeah. And then he gets, you know, like I said earlier, he gets involved in some shit that you get too far into that has power, that has so much power, you can't get out of it knowing how much you want to get out of it.
Yeah.
You are too far into the game, so to speak. There's no coming back. So back to the day this happened, mind you, the night prior, my brother remembers my dad coming home and he had two thirds of a million dollars laid out on the kitchen table on counters. And I think what had happened was that's when my dad realized there was some money missing.
A significant amount of money because that has what I've been told my whole life is that it was the murder happened because of money. There was missing money. And then once I got older, figured out drugs were involved as well. And my brother told me, he said, Kara, I remember looking at the table and seeing that money. And he said he picked some money up and he threw it at my dad.
And he said, get out of our house. This is double. We don't need your double money. Like, what are you doing?
Right.
At 10 years old.
Right.
Okay. Like, so back to the day he's holding my mom on a gunpoint.
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Chapter 7: How did Karah's experience shape her perspective on parenting?
I'll tell you if I'm ever not or if it's getting confusing. And I know it's hard to not jump back and forth because it's like you're.
trying to make sure you get like backstory but also you know fill us in with like what's happening it makes sense you're good and and and that's what yeah that's what it is yeah and honestly it doesn't matter if that's how it plays out in your head exactly i'm like at this point this is right a basket case of a story but guess what it's a beautiful story as well right yeah thank you so um and then yeah that the night that that happened the money and i'm thinking that's when i guess probably the decision was made or
My dad was advised by a certain group of people that, hey, you need to, it's time that you do this or you're not going to have a life. You can take your pick. So he had my mom pinned down to the ground with the pistol. And my mom, for like an hour and a half, she said that she managed to wiggle herself to the back door of our house.
And she said that she started kicking the back door with her foot in hopes that our neighbors that are still her neighbors to this day would see it. So the phone starts ringing and I assume that's Ryan calling because he had been calling from school the whole morning.
And my mom looked at my dad and said, hey, Dwight, you really need to answer the phone because that's my mom looking for Kara because my mom was going to take me down there on her way to work looking for Kara. You need to answer it. So my dad answers the phone, and my mom said that she's just keeping her eyes on him the whole time.
She is just watching him, she said, because she knew as soon as he got his eyes off of her, she was going to run. Sure enough, he gets on the phone, and it was her brother, I think, maybe. It was definitely somebody that was close to her. And sure enough, he had turned his head. And he was able to, he had turned his head and he was able to, my mom was able to run.
So my mom runs out of the back door. And she said that he goes to the back door and he is following her with the gun. And her plan was she was just going to bust through our neighbor's house. And she said that she was hiding between trees so she couldn't miss a bullet. Could you fucking imagine? Could you fucking imagine?
being in that situation and happen to fear for your life, you have a newborn baby on the bed, your mom's looking for you, your job's looking for you, and it's survival mode. You fucking hit the ground running.
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Chapter 8: What lessons does Karah want to share with children of incarcerated parents?
You don't think twice about it. And she did that. And I'm like, even still to this day, I look at her and I'm like, you are the strongest woman I have ever met in my entire life. So my mom bust through our neighbor's door And tells my neighbor what happens. My neighbor walks over there. I think that's when he grabbed me. He went up to my dad and said, hey, get out of here.
Whatever you got, just go. Just leave. My dad leaves. So that day, and my mom did not call the cops. I wonder often why she didn't call the cops.
I was going to ask you, do they have a good relationship? Other than obviously that, but prior to that, how was their relationship together?
Yeah, no. My mom said she loved him. My mom said that she loved him and they had so much fun together. A little insight about them, they loved fashion. They loved different outfits. They loved going to dinner parties. They were just like your ultimate... your ultimate couple and family.
So that situation, do you think it was just kind of like, did she say it was? a one-off type of situation or did things like that happen sometimes?
It definitely was definitely a one-off situation that prior to that, she knew he was going downhill for a couple of years and, but she didn't know it was going to be this bad.
Right. Cause I was going to say, maybe she didn't call the cops because it was still so surprising and shocking to her in a sense. Yeah. You know, like even if she had an idea in her mind, like, Oh, things are going downhill.
Yeah.
I mean, if you love somebody and you do have so many things that you enjoy doing with them, I think it's kind of like, you know what I mean?
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