I Dated My Predator
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How did Jess’s childhood trauma shape her early mental health struggles?
Hi, my name is Jess. I'm going to start from my childhood and go from there. My parents dated for a little bit, but they never were really actually together. They broke up when I was a baby and I started switching houses around that time. The custody agreement was I was at my mom's during the week and then every Thursday I would go to my dad's. And then every other weekend, I would stay Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, the whole weekend. And then my dad had to do all the driving. So that was in the court agreement. But unfortunately, my parents didn't communicate with each other. They only communicated through me. And it was really negative. So that made me feel like a burden from a really young age.
And my dad, he would talk negatively about my mom around me. And that really sucked as well. And constantly guilt tripping about the driving. Tell your mom she needs to help out with the driving. Well, tell your dad it's in the court agreement and that's what he needs to do. If he has a problem with it, he needs to go to court. And just like little things like being seven years old and forgetting my backpack at home when he's taking me to school, that's 25 minutes away. And then like getting guilt tripped for that because it's a long drive. And just like always just really feeling like a burden from a young age. My dad got remarried to a woman named Stephanie and she was just in close in age to me and she was my dad.
Very like blonde, fake boobs, all that. All that? Yeah, she... We know that kind. Yeah, she... i didn't like her when i heard her call my mom white trash that's when it started and i was so young i remember telling her like i needed to talk to her about something and then she like pulled me in my room and i was like never mind and i like hid under the bed until she like got it out of me and i was like i don't like it when you talk about my mom but they just never got along either my mom got remarried to my stepdad they're still together to this day he's an awesome man and then they had my little sister together. I also have an older sister on my mom's side who my mom had with another man when she was in high school.
So I have an older sister on my mom's side. And then my mom and stepdad had my little sister, Sadie. And then my dad also had two little boys, Nick and Jack. And so I have two brothers on my dad's side. So I really wish I had like a sibling that switched houses with me. I feel like it would have made it a lot less awkward, but I just like never felt fully part of a family. I just felt like I was stepping in to another family each time. And that was really tough. I spent a lot of time at my grandparents growing up as well. So I kind of was just like thrown around. I was at my mom's house, my dad's house, my grandparents house. And then every summer I would go to Washington state for three to six weeks at a time to stay with my grandparents there.
The first thing that happened in my life that I think affected me more than I realized until recently was my mom's sister killed herself. She shot herself in the head when I was seven. The police came to our house to tell us because my mom didn't want to give them my grandparents' address over the phone, not knowing if they were actually cops. And I remember them coming over. I was only seven and my mom asked them if I was allowed to stay downstairs and they said no. And so I went upstairs and then me and my older sister could hear my mom crying and we called my grandma. We were scared. My grandma knew right then. And then my mom came upstairs and said, aunt Jenny died. And we said, how? And she's like, she just died.
And so then her funeral came around like a week later. And she had two kids, unfortunately. And I was just confused. And I said to them, like, how did she die? And then very bluntly, my cousin said she took a gun and shot her head off. And it was just extremely confusing to me at that age.
It's traumatic, yeah. Even the news of hearing or being told someone that you know or a family member has died, I think that that's really...
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
How did Jess’s childhood trauma shape her early mental health struggles?
0:00–14:25
2
What events led Jess to be placed in a residential treatment center?
14:25–28:45
3
How did the counselor begin grooming Jess and what were the warning signs?
28:45–41:53
4
When did the relationship turn sexual and how did Jess respond?
41:53–53:53
5
What impact did the abuse have on Jess’s addiction and self‑harm behaviors?
53:53–1:05:20
6
How did Jess finally decide to report her abuser and what obstacles did she face?
1:05:20–1:16:21
7
What was the outcome of the investigation and court process?
1:16:21–1:28:12
8
How has Jess’s healing journey informed her advice for protecting vulnerable kids?
1:28:12–1:44:06