I Was a School Shooter
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
I'm very happy to be here.
What led the guest to become a school shooter?
Sharing my story is very difficult. Not only, obviously for me it's difficult at times, but for others it's obviously very difficult to hear my story because I'm not like a lot of your guests have been through horrific things. They've experienced horrific things done by others.
How did childhood trauma impact the guest's mental health?
Whereas I've been the one who's done the horrific things. I've heard a lot of people. And I spent nearly 17 years in prison. I came home in 2020 and was... not sure how to expect people to respond to me. And eventually I had some local school resource officers who are police officers working in the school system.
What warning signs preceded the violent incident?
They reached out to me and wanted to talk to me about how can they help out kids who are going through dark and difficult times and how can they, most importantly, prevent them from doing something like what I did, bringing a gun into school. And so I started talking with them and opening up And they were happy to hear my story as hard as it was. And next thing I know, they invited me to speak at a conference. And then after that conference, I literally had the FBI reach out to me. And it just kind of went from there.
How did the guest's mental health deteriorate before the shooting?
So I do my best to open up and to answer questions because... Too many of these tragedies are happening. During my 17 years in prison, I saw things in America get worse, not better. You know, I would have hoped that we would have come together collectively and done more to help prevent these tragedies, but we haven't. And so I've been working the past few years, however I can, talking to people to kind of put those pieces of the puzzle together and how others can see red flags, how others can help individuals and to better understand this.
And I think the issue too is we hear about these tragic events happening or we see like a headline and then that's it. We don't get any information of the whys or what was going on or the mental health aspect. And I think that that's why there's not really change because it's kind of just like, oh, this happened again. And then it's, pushed on something else, you know?
Yeah. There's also, there's a lot of times, you know, the gunman is dead or in prison for life and they're not speaking out. And so it is, I have this very dark, unique perspective that I wish I didn't have, but I do. So that's why I try to spread awareness and to help however I can.
Yes. And I feel like that's a way to take a dark time that you had and a dark time in general and use it in the benefit not only for yourself, but also for so many others and to spread that awareness. You know, I've said this before to another one of my guests that shares, they talk at schools as well. And I was saying, I think it's so important to have speakers come in and speak firsthand about what's going on and prevention and things like that. Because I think a lot of times too, just thinking back when I was in high school, we would have these like assemblies and things where, but it was, it was kind of hard to connect to. I feel like kids don't want to listen at that age. It's kind of like we have to go or you're getting out of class.
And I feel like stories like yours need to be heard and understood and they're important to share. And I think they're very moving and it puts a lot into perspective and it's real. It happens.
What was the guest's experience during the shooting?
And Unfortunately, I think we live in a world where people don't really fully grasp or understand and understandably so. But I think it's the more we have knowledge about it, like you said, the more we can make a change.
Yeah, and especially when you're talking with kids, so many times, parents, teachers, law enforcement, when they reach out to me and they wanna know how to get a kid to open up, I tell them, first, you have to open up to them a little bit. You have to get them to be able to connect and respond to somebody. It's not a one-way street, it is a two-way street. Through opening up not only at conferences and on podcasts, but on social media, I've had millions of people hear my story and yeah, there's a lot of controversy with me opening up and I completely understand that.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:00–0:02
2
What led the guest to become a school shooter?
0:02–0:17
3
How did childhood trauma impact the guest's mental health?
0:17–0:42
4
What warning signs preceded the violent incident?
0:42–1:20
5
How did the guest's mental health deteriorate before the shooting?
1:20–3:29
6
What was the guest's experience during the shooting?
3:29–4:18
7
How did the aftermath of the shooting affect the guest's life?
4:18–5:18
8
What transformations did the guest undergo during incarceration?
5:18–1:29:01