My Mother Married My Rapist

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We're All Insane 2h 0m 6 speakers 8 chapters transcribed 1 month ago
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What early memories does Cynthia share about the start of the abuse?

Cynthia Delgado 0:00
From as long as I can remember, my earliest memory, I was like five years old, is when the sexual abuse started with my stepfather. I am now 32, so my abuse started when I was five. And it ended when I was 18, 19. And that it ended because I physically had to remove myself from the home. Otherwise it just, I have no idea. I literally have no idea how, like, because I was obviously groomed into this lifestyle. So I always think about like, I be like in my 20s and it was still happening or like I don't know so what were the family dynamics were you was it your mom there do you have any siblings in my household it was my mother my stepfather and my little sister she's five years like four and a half years younger than me that is her biological dad okay I didn't know he wasn't my dad till I was like 16.
Cynthia Delgado 0:59
I don't know why they kept it a secret. So you didn't have a relationship with your biological father? No, I've never met him. I have no idea who he is. Okay. So my family is from Mexico. So when I was born, we moved to California, like the state of California when I was like a few months old. So I like literally never stepped foot in Mexico. And then my mom got with my sister's dad and then five years later, she was born and we were still in California. And that's, I remember my first memory there of the abuse. We were in his work truck and it was like those old trucks like in the 90s where it's just like it's one seat. And then basically the bag was like his tools. So the bits and pieces that I remember from that moment, they must have my mom and my dad must have done stuff.
Cynthia Delgado 1:53
And I was in the passenger because when we I don't even know where we were. My mom got out to like get him something to clean himself off. And he was just sitting there with like a sock just covering him. And he looked over at me and he asked me to like lift it, lift the sock up to see what's underneath. And I remember in that moment being like, No. Yeah. So I didn't. But like, that's, that's the first memory that I have. And so I must have been like five or, yeah, because my sister was born at that point. And then we moved to New Jersey.

How does Cynthia describe her family dynamics and the discovery that her stepfather isn’t her biological dad?

Cynthia Delgado 2:29
And that's basically where I was raised my whole life until I met my wife and I moved. So the abuse continued, obviously.
Devorah Roloff 2:37
So the first experience was in the truck, right? And it was him kind of, I guess, introducing like, oh, lift it, look, right? And then do you remember when the next experience happened? And was it escalated from that first one?
Cynthia Delgado 2:55
The next memory that I have, I was... eight or nine years old. But I know that in between being five and then being eight or nine, abuse was happening, like light grooming, touching, and to get to this vivid memory that I have. And I had to have been eight or nine because it was my sister's little birthday at our house. We're in the house that we lived in Jersey. We moved in. It was like, I don't even know what you call it, like a mother-in-law suite where we lived upstairs, the four of us. And then my grandparents lived downstairs with my aunts and uncles, like my mom's siblings. And so we were like a tight knit family, like all of us. And but in this memory, I was like either eight or nine. And my mom was throwing my sister a party and we had like a really big yard.
Cynthia Delgado 3:51
And that's what we threw. That's what we had, like barbecues and, you know, get togethers. And this memory is. that I remember very, very vividly. My stepdad asked me to go upstairs to the house while everyone was out. Like my mom was setting up stuff outside and getting the party ready. And he was like, oh, let's go upstairs to get like cups or utensils or something. And I went with him. And then we went to his bedroom and his bedroom window is right above his bed. And you can see the entire backyard at that window. So he had a perfect view of everything. So that was his perfect opportunity. I could do something and I can also make sure that I have my eyes on everything. I remember him telling me to get on the bed with him and then he told me that it was now time, like I was old enough, it was time for me to give him oral.

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