Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
My name is Courtney Klein. I have been married for 14 years. We have three kids here, two in heaven. My husband owns a business and I am getting used to saying this, but I'm a content creator. I love it. Yeah. So I am here to share my story about an accident that happened with my dad when I was younger that shifted both of our lives.
and then how I feel like I have used that trauma to shape my life moving forward. So little backstory about my family.
my dad is like the goofiest dad he just always had that like contagious personality anytime my friends were over he's like the he's like the dad that like gives them nicknames picks on them they're always like act like he's annoying but like you know everybody loves him he was a custodian at a local middle school and like i remember going to work with him and like
he'd walk in and like all the kids if they were in the cafeteria or whatever just freak out because they loved him so much um so we had a like i feel like i had a good childhood like we did my parents did the best with what they had that's kind of you know where we were at and i was always a daddy's girl so
I specifically remember one time my mom told my dad to take me back to the bedroom to spank my butt. We were a spanking family. You know better, you do better. Okay, we're a spanking family too. We turned out good. I remember her telling him to take me back there and spank me.
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Chapter 2: What life-changing event did Courtney experience with her father?
I had done something. I can't remember what it was, but... I remember he, like, took me back there, had his belt, and was like, pretend to cry. And he, like, smacked the bed with his belt. Like, that was my dad. Like, he couldn't... There was no way. Like, that's how... So, we didn't have a very big family. I had one brother. And, you know, it was just a good childhood. So, I feel like...
my dad's like there's like two memories you know like there's two separate time frames it's like my dad before the accident my dad after the accident um and it's it's kind of like my my childhood's like split into if that makes sense so I had my license. It had my license for a little while. And my dad had this big truck that I loved. Like I thought I was so cool in that truck.
Like my friends would get in the truck with me. So we were, I grew up in West Virginia, closer to Kentucky. Most of your roads are like back roads. You've got to pull over to the side to let another car through. So that's how my neighborhood road was. Had some blind spots in it.
I was driving around with my friends in the truck, and we were going to meet our boyfriends, but we had to run home first. And I remember like, you know, I'm in a hurry. You gotta run home real fast, and I just was always on the go. So I was going a little too fast on our one-lane road, and my dad, we had a huge hill behind our house, so...
When he mowed the grass, it was like with a four-wheeler with a mowing deck attached to the back. So he would do that. It was a Friday. He's mowing the grass, drink a couple beers. That was like a normal thing for him to do. And then before he would put the four-wheeler up, he would detach the mowing deck. And, like, he used to ride dirt bikes, go super fast. Like, he loved that, so...
He turned his hat backwards and he'd take off down the road a couple times on the four wheeler. So our timing was just not great. He was coming up where there was a blind spot and I met him right there. So It's always like we were always kind of unsure, like did I tip the four-wheeler or was it just where he locked up the brakes because we met each other?
If our timing had been a tad bit worse, we would have hit head-on for sure.
Okay.
I mean, we were seconds from hitting head on. So I just remember coming through there. We had music on and it was just like out of nowhere. There's my dad, like just coming at me very fast. And we think that like. he locked up the brakes in a panic, and I did too. But on a four-wheeler, that's very different. So he locked up the brakes, and it threw him behind my truck, way behind the truck.
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Chapter 3: How did the accident impact Courtney's childhood and family dynamics?
Like life's never going to look the same. And then I remember sitting down and it was like this realization that it was my fault. Like I can't even picture it now. Like where everybody was sitting, my friends were on the sides of me and I like sat down in the chair and everybody's kind of talking. And it was like I just sunk into that chair and was like, I did this to my dad.
Like this is my fault because I was driving too fast. Why did I have to be in his truck? Why did I have to be like, and it was like, at that point I was like, I just wanted to leave. Like, I just wanted to disassociate and like, you know, I'd never experienced something like that before. So I feel like I, once I had that realization, I struggled with that for a long time.
Like that, that was my fault. So he went on to have seven surgeries, reconstructive surgeries to his arm. When you shatter your elbow, to get your arm to work, like they've got to do a lot of things. So he had just like the same incision over and over again. So when you have surgeries like that and you've got an injury that bad, they're giving you pain pills constantly.
So my dad was already like a drinker, but at that point they declared him like officially declared him disabled. So he was no longer working anymore. And, you know, like I'm still like a teenager watching my dad go through this, like my dad can't work anymore. My dad is constantly recovering from surgeries and like kind of holding that in that like I did that. Like, that's my fault. I did that.
So he had nerve damage from all the surgeries. Like, every time they would do a surgery, it was, like, a known thing. Like, that's going to cause you more nerve damage. But we have to fix your arm. You either don't have function in your arm or you have nerve damage. And it was just, like, kind of a doom and gloom kind of thing. I can't imagine now that I'm an adult, like...
being in that position and having a doctor say that constantly like this is where you're at this is your life there's no you're not going to have full function of your arm like that anymore so he was in constant pain just the nerve pain just i i remember that so vividly like he just complained all the time that he was in pain like it didn't matter what you did his arm hurt
And my mom was always taking care of him, recovering from the surgeries. So he would drink to help the pain. And then he also had the pain pills that they were constantly giving him to help the pain. So he like, I don't even know how long it took, but he quickly became addicted to pain pills after that. And I mean, I feel like that's such a common story.
that somebody has a surgery, they have a back injury, they have this, they have that, and people, you know, doctors are prescribing them pain pills because that's what you do, and they get addicted to pain pills. Yeah, like very fast.
Quick question for you. Yeah. So after he got out of, I guess, did he have a surgery the first day that he went into the hospital? Yeah. So the first time you talked to him after the accident, did you feel like he had any blame towards you? So it was just within yourself, really, that you're blaming yourself?
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Chapter 4: What were the immediate consequences following the accident?
Very emotional. This is all happening. I don't know what to do. And my husband being like, we have our own life. Like we have, you have two kids that are depending on you. Like we're trying to live our own life. You cannot get wrapped up in this. But I think that from that trauma, like I felt like this was my fault.
And I was like holding on to that, like had my dad not had an accident, he wouldn't have been where he was. Like I was like clinging to that. I don't think I ever vocalized it at that point, but like I felt responsible for where they were. So it was like my mom's life was imploding. My dad's life was and it felt like it was my fault. Yeah.
So
When he got home from the hospital, my mom told him, like, you need to find somewhere else to live because I'm done. He was a mess. He was not okay. So he moved in with his mom until he could find an apartment. When he did get an apartment, I remember going there and it was just, you know, he's living off of a disability check. That's it.
Yeah.
They're not together, so... He doesn't have, you know, they're splitting everything up. His apartment was like a hole in the wall. The ceiling was falling down. It was just the saddest thing to like, you know, you go and like, your dad is like, you know, for some people, my dad was... Like, hung the moon. Like, just... My dad could do anything. He was the strong dad. It needed fixed.
My dad was going to fix it. No matter what would happen, my dad was going to pull through.
Get it done.
And then you go and see your dad in a situation like that. He's, like, living... in this rundown hole in the wall and he's crying constantly. He's drunk half the time. It just was like such a defeating thing to feel and go through. Cause it's like, I want my dad, I want to help my dad get better, but it's also not my responsibility to take care of him.
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Chapter 5: How did addiction become a part of Courtney's father's life after the accident?
He had been struggling with a head injury. since that December. So February 2018, his wife had went in, my mom's best friend, went in to wake him up for a doctor's appointment and found that he had had a seizure in his sleep. She tried to give him CPR, but he was gone. And this was Rich? This was Rich, my dad's best friend, yeah. So it just was like...
You know, this was like a second dad to me, somebody that like has watched me grow up. And, you know, my best friend who felt like a sister, we never went a day without talking to each other, has just lost her dad. And here I'm in this position where I'm like petrified I'm going to lose my dad. And I'm like, how's my dad going to recover from this as well?
So I remember calling my mom and telling her and then calling my dad and telling him. And they told us when, you know, they were going to have arrangements. We were already like my mother in law drove from Maryland to Ohio to keep my kids. My husband was filming a wedding in Iowa, so he wasn't there. And
My parents neither could afford to drive themselves to Chicago, nor could they afford a hotel room. So I was driving the two of them. They haven't been together in over a year, haven't seen each other. I got to put them in my car together, drive all the way to Chicago, then we shared a hotel room.
The three of you? Yeah. Oh my gosh.
Yes. So I was like, just I just got to make it through this weekend. Like it was one of the hardest weekends I'd ever had up to that point. You know, we are laying rich to rest, which was
just it's still hard for me to comprehend at this point that he's not here um so like and then you add in that like my parents haven't been with each other and i've got to take them both there this is somebody that's so important to all of our lives so who knows how they're going to react or how they're going to be so it my dad had been two weeks sober on the day of Rich's funeral. Two weeks.
That was the longest stretch he had been since the accident. And they're getting along. They're being cordial with each other. They're talking. You know, we're just trying to like focus on our family that has just lost Rich. And I had went somewhere and left the two of them in the hotel room. And I remember coming back and they were still awake talking to each other. And I was like,
this could be bad. I just remember being like, my mom doesn't want to be with my dad. So I hope that she's not leading him on in any way or making him feel like they're rekindling something. Like there's hope. Yes.
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Chapter 6: What struggles did Courtney face while caring for her father?
I don't want to take care of my dad all the time. If you could just let me be. And I felt like she didn't understand that. I can't even remember what the comment that she made was. It had nothing to do with my dad. It was just a catty thing between me and her. And I was like, I'm done. I can't do it. I feel like there was a lot of arguing between her and I for that whole time period.
So we left and I think I even was like, rent your own car. I want you to just leave. But I didn't do that. She rode back with us. I did not speak to her the whole way back to Ohio. And I cut her off and did not talk to her for three whole months.
And that was, like, I mean, she still references that to this day, that, like, she's grateful for the time that she has with me because there was a time when I wouldn't speak to her and she didn't have updates on her grandkids and she didn't know what was going on with me and, like, she never wants to be there ever again.
And I hate that it had to come to that, but I think I was just, like, I was at a point where I was, like, neither one of you are taking care of me. Like I'm an adult and I don't need you to do anything for me, but don't make my life harder.
And I think too, it's like, it becomes unfair when it starts holding you back. Right. Yeah. And you, it's important for you to be present for your husband, your kids.
Yeah, exactly. Like, yeah, you don't get those years back with your kids, you know? And yeah. So in that three months when I cut my mom off, my dad and her started talking again. Um, and I was like very close with my dad, like staying on top of what was going on, obviously, but like telling my dad, you need to be very cautious. You need to not get your hopes up.
Like, and I just kept like getting more angry with my mom. Cause I was just like, I don't know where your head's at, but I'm not going to break the silence to find out. Like that's where I was at. I'm stubborn in that way, I think. But I did need that time. where, like, I kind of set some boundaries with my dad during that period. And I needed that time to, like, you know, I was a young mom.
I got married very young. Like, I'm also just trying to figure out what my identity is. Like, who am I? Like, I'm growing up, raising kids, which is hard as it is. You know, we were starting businesses when you're in a startup that is not like, you know, we were making ends meet and like just trying to make the best of our life.
And like, I can't just ride this roller coaster all the time with my parents. Like, I need to figure out myself, too. So, and then I also was grieving, you know, normalcy and my, you know, someone that was like a second dad to me, like that was very, that was very traumatic, that whole thing. And just trying to like move forward and be there for my best friend who had just lost her dad.
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Chapter 7: How did Courtney's relationship with her parents evolve over time?
And you know they have so much potential. Yeah. And, yeah, so, I mean, it's just like anyone who...
feels like they're there like you have potential you know like you have potential you can pull yourself out of that and yeah I just feel like sharing that on social media sharing my weight loss journey I have like bared it all my bare stomach yeah like all of it and I just want it to be relatable to somebody else
and it 100% is there's not I think now we're getting to a point where there's a lot more of it but there's never enough you know there's never too much you can relate to like bring all the relatability and positivity like there's never too much yeah
yeah so no that's yeah i feel like i feel like i've learned a lot i feel like it's easy for me to tell that story now and my dad it it even is like a joke yeah it's not funny but it is we're both we both have a morbid sense of humor but you make light out of it somebody would like ask him where his scar came from like oh my gosh because i mean he's got like all the way down
And we would be together in a restaurant or something. He still does it to this day. My kids think it's hilarious. Like, she hit me with a truck. And nobody knows what to say. And she ran over me with a truck. Yeah. And, yeah. So, like, you just have to, like, I don't know, you know. And give grace because it's like Alex Warren's song, First Time on Earth. Have you ever heard that?
It's literally talking about how, like, he forgives his parents because it's their first time on earth, too. Yeah. I know I'm gonna make mistakes. My parents are not perfect. They're not supposed to be perfect. It's their first time to figure out life too. So like, you just can't hold things against people. Like they're just figuring it out. You gotta have grace. You've gotta be forgiving.
And understand that just the same as you're trying to navigate life and your decisions and the way you're feeling and your emotions and your trauma and you're trying to turn that into something, they are too. Even though we feel like our parents should have it all figured out and they should take care of us and be like our... You know, they're just figuring it out too.
This is their, they're getting old for the first time too. Like they're, you know, so I just feel like I have learned a lot from that and yeah, I'm just happy that I got to come and share it.
Well, you did amazing.
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