WDWDY #69: Caught with a Kumquat
episode
What Did You Do Yesterday? with Max Rushden & David O'Doherty
49 min
2 speakers
6 chapters
transcribed 3 months ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
What is the main question the podcast seeks to answer?
podcasts there are millions of them some might say too many i have one already i don't have any because there are enough politics business sport you name it there's a podcast about it and they all ask the big questions and cover the hot topics of the day but nobody is covering the most important topic of all why is that are they scared too afraid of being censored by the man Possibly, but not us. We're here to ask the only question that matters. We try and say it at the same time, Max. What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? That's it. All we're interested in is what the guests got up to yesterday. Nothing more. Day before yesterday, Max? Nope. The greatest and most interesting day of your life?
Unless it was yesterday, we don't want to know about it. I'm Max Rushton. And I'm David O'Doherty. Welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday? Hello and welcome to Midweek Mayhem. From the people that bring you What Did You Do Yesterday, my name is Max Rushton. Alongside me today is the Irish comedian David O'Doherty. David.
Now the last time I saw you IRL was on the streets of Melbourne. The day was your birthday. Correct. And your wife had got you the gift of what you believed was going to be a head massage. Yes. I said before I got on the tram home, very emotional farewell. I said, I'd walk you to the place. Yeah. And this place had a lot of neon on the front of it. It did. Such that I was sure you weren't just going to get a head massage. You were going to get, you know, asked if you wanted other things.
Yeah, well, as I walked in, there were three middle-aged women in front of me going, that was really lovely. Thank you so much. So as soon as I went in, I saw, you know, Sheila, Daphne and Celeste. Not Daphne and Celeste. That was a bad pick. It wasn't Daphne and Celeste. I thought it seems unlikely. And I was not in the business of that.
I had put it in your head that you were going to have to turn down a handjob.
And actually I had, Jamie had bought me specifically a head massage because I like a head massage, but I don't really like any other part of me massaged, certainly by someone I don't know. I instantly like bristle and that is not relaxing. And the whole idea of this is relaxing. So I went in and, And then, you know, they do that bit when they go, just take off your top and put yourself under this blanket. And so then they leave the room and they spend too much time out of the room. It's like, I'm just taking my t-shirt off. This will be like three seconds. Like you don't have to leave. But then like five minutes later, they come in and there's some plinky plucky music. And the first thing she did was start rubbing my chest quite vigorously.
So I'd got a fit of the giggles and that didn't help either of us. You know, at the start, that's bad. I'm really trying to quell the giggles. That's making me laugh even more. I'm not having a relaxing time. I'm just thinking, can this be over soon? Anyway, then it sort of gets into a bit of a head massage that I'm like, okay, I'm cool with this. But then in the booth next to me is a woman who it does sound very much like she's having a happy ending. What? Like every 15 seconds, she just sort of goes, uh.
Yeah.
And it's really off-putting. And I don't know how to react. Like part of me wants to just groan back whenever she grows to just groan back louder to say, could you shut up please? Because you are, what tiny chance I had of this being relaxing. It's now over. So then they've sort of like, they put this brass sort of semicircular pipe over your neck and it has about 20 jets that all sprays, I'd say lukewarm, a little bit chilly water onto your neck. And you've got a mask on, but it sort of spits onto your face and your nose.
What funny birthday gift did David receive?
It's not very comfortable. And this is the moment where, and I'm not very experienced with massages, but there's always a moment where the masseur or masseuse like just buggers off for 15 minutes. So they just... I just left, but I couldn't move because I was sort of, it was sort of like really, really gateway waterboarding.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
What is the main question the podcast seeks to answer?
0:06–3:58
2
What funny birthday gift did David receive?
3:58–9:27
3
What unexpected experience did David have during his massage?
9:27–10:46
4
How did David react to the sounds from the next booth during his treatment?
10:46–12:25
5
What bizarre encounter did David have with a massage device?
12:25–19:20
6
What humorous email did Rachel send to the podcast?
19:20–49:09