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Chapter 1: What does Sean Langan mean by 'Hope is a dangerous thing'?
Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane. Now, if you're a movie buff, you'll probably recognize those words from the movie Shawshank Redemption, spoken by the character Red, a lifer who's seen too many men crushed by false hope. For those who haven't seen it, firstly, watch it tonight and thank me later.
But essentially, it's the story of a man named Andy Dufresne, a man wrongfully convicted of a murder who ends up in prison, surrounded by men who've spent decades behind bars, men whose hopes of freedom have been dashed time and time again. Failed appeals, denied parole, doors slammed in their faces over and over until hope itself becomes the enemy.
I've covered this topic extensively on my other podcast, One Minute Remaining, speaking with real-life prisoners who, like those characters, have spent decades fighting for their freedom. And what they tell me again and again is that hope is exhausting.
You get your hopes up, you see the light at the end of the tunnel, and then that door shuts again and again, until hope stops being a comfort and starts being cruel. After weeks in captivity with the very real possibility that his only way out was in a body bag, Sean Langan was dealing with that same double-edged sword. Hope.
Moon in the sky I'm looking at the moon in the sky This shouldn't come as a surprise But I can't sleep War in my mind Chapter 7 Hello, Channel 4 Switchboard.
So at this stage, Sean and I had been talking for nearly three hours and we were deep into his story of captivity, the fear, the uncertainty, the psychological warfare. And then Sean asked if we could step outside so he could have a cigarette and keep the conversation going. I said, of course, though I was immediately worried about one thing.
You might need that shot. Leave that in so people know I've walked out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. By the way, will it ruin your continuity if we now keep filming outside?
No, we can do it outside. Just the only thing I'm worried about is the noise of the bird. That's all.
What's funny, actually, the bird sound, that was the sound I remember most in Ukraine.
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Chapter 2: How did Sean cope with the psychological toll of captivity?
And I'm looking up going, wow, it's like my life. It's stunningly beautiful. But it's like any moment, that thin line between this and death. And I'm just thinking how beautiful the world is. And then he's like, here you go. Here's the sat phone. Call Channel 4. And it was a lovely Afghan moment. He's a real business. He said, look, it's a pay-as-you-go. I've paid $50 credit.
So don't take forever. Get on with it. I was worried about the $50. I'm like, OK. I suddenly realized I don't have the phone number of my boss at Channel 4. I don't know. But I know the switchboard number for Channel 4 TV. So I ring up the switchboard and wait, looking at the beautiful horizon and how exquisite and fragile life is. And then I suddenly hear a connection and a voice. Beautiful.
Wait, what's in my ears?
Hello, Channel 4 switchboard.
And I just started crying because I could hear this voice. It was like enveloping me in her warm embrace. It's home. And then I'm suddenly back to English. Oh, it's a bit of an old course. And I didn't know how to explain this to someone at Switchboard.
So I went, oh, I apologise. I'm really sorry. It's a bit weird to call this. My name's Sean Langan. I work for Channel 4. I've been kidnapped by the Taliban.
You'd think that would fucking do it, but there's a long pause.
How do you spell Sean Langan? And I go, S-E... Sorry, I'm on a sat phone. It's paid to go.
He's got 50 bucks here. We've got to get on with this.
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Chapter 3: What were the pivotal moments during Sean's negotiations for release?
And I said, I'd like you to shoot me because I liked him. And he cried. So that was the kind of situation. Because we were waiting for the commander to come back with news or whether, because negotiations had broken down. The family were asking me to convert, worried that the news was going to be being killed. So we're having conversations. Then the commander comes back in.
And I've got to give it to this guy. He's He had a dramatic flair, this guy. Comes in and he sits us down. He's not bearing gifts anymore, but he's got a sheaf of paper with the court's hearings, the findings of the court. The Shura, they call it. The Taliban court. They have all this kind of formality to a kidnap. It's justified that in their mind, they're not just terrorists.
This is a movement, Islamic movement. So we sit down. I'm in court, you know, at judgment. And there's the Taliban commander, his men and the family. And he opens the scroll. Now, at this point, it's three and a half months. I've lost weight, malnutrition. I'm sitting there and I am so battered by the whole recent and living with death. So you're sitting there, not much left straight.
And he reads out the court's findings. I don't know if he had little reading glasses as well, like the owl judge glasses. And he says, the Taliban Shura hereby finds you innocent of all charges. And I literally, I remember I go, thank God for that. And I sort of sit back. And I'm just letting that good news, I'm innocent, wash over me. And then he says, but the Shura voted to kill you anyway.
to send a message to other journalists not to try. And this was the rollercoaster. I'm like, wait, wait, what? I thought it was innocent. So now he's just told me, we're going to kill you. I'm like, oh, no. And he pauses. And then he says, but don't worry. Me and the emir, Siraj Khani, we vetoed the shura. So you are free to go.
I didn't laugh at this point, but I was just like, one minute you're innocent, next minute we're going to kill you, but no, you're innocent. And I was just like, whatever. They find, they read out the ruling of the commander, the Taliban judge. He could forgive him for being a little selfish and just wanting to get home as quickly as possible.
However, at the start of his ordeal, alongside his fixer, his friend, he made a promise. And a promise he was intending on keeping.
We would either both live or both die. I wouldn't leave without him because that was really preying on his mind because there would be another instance where Western journalists had been kidnapped, a ransom had been paid, and the local journalist fixer was killed. And a good friend of ours, especially my fixers, the year before had been kidnapped by an Italian journalist.
The Italians paid for his ransom and the Taliban killed him. And the Taliban were aware that didn't make them look good. And they said to us, don't worry, you won't be like that case with the Italian. You're either both killed or you're both here. But I promised that I wouldn't abandon my fixer if Channel 4 got me out. So we had to be separated.
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Chapter 4: How did Sean's captivity change his perspective on life?
For the next few years, I took my children on the real holidays I'd imagined taking them on. They were equally as real and wonderful and dreamlike. You know, I'd be in Florida or Venice with my kids. I took them to the Arctic Circle dog sledding. And that was the reality was more dreamlike than how I'd imagined it might be. It was wonderful. But you're broken.
It was like my fixer had his breakdown in captivity because he'd gone through this once before. I then was aware you have a breakdown when you come out because you're severe. You've been smashed to smithereens by this experience and you've got to piece yourself together.
You'd think that after his ordeal, Sean would be angry, resentful and regretful of some of his decisions. However, he says no. In fact, the ordeal reminded him of many valuable lessons.
And here's the thing, I really don't regret it because it really was to me a precious lesson in life of what's important. And it's stuff we all know, but we forget, which is to be, if you're... before you're married and have children, to be a good son or daughter to your parents.
But it was very clear to me that my role and the meaning of life was to be a protector and a provider for my children, to give them love. And then to protect and provide for the environment. That's also the meaning of life, is to protect and provide for your loved ones, your children, but also for the world we're living in, because the two are codependent.
But also very strongly to help those less fortunate than yourself, because... We are all connected, all living things. And how can we be happy when someone's suffering so acutely in Somalia or Gaza or Ukraine? And it just seemed patiently clear to me in my captivity. That was what was shown to me, that we're all family.
And so to learn that lesson, which is something I think we know of in childhood and we're taught but forget,
a great reminder and also the great pleasures you know i still today because i was so loved miss it was what i missed you know a nice meal with friends around the table uh the companionship friendship so now i still get a lovely deeper appreciation when i'm having a over christmas you know with some friends having a drink family so that's what i learned in captivity
Sean was back, spending time with his children, his family and friends and putting himself back together, working on his PTSD. However, his experience wouldn't put a complete stop to his work because eventually he would go back to war and to the front lines, ready to tell another story.
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