Menu
Sign In Search Podcasts Charts People & Topics Add Podcast API Blog Pricing
Podcast Image

What The Duck?!

Natures Most Wanted: Trunk and disorderly

16 Apr 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: How much alcohol does it take to intoxicate an elephant?

0.031 - 1.924 Dr Ann Jones

ABC Listen.

0

1.944 - 6.092 Unknown

Podcasts, radio, news, music and more.

0

8.857 - 18.29 Lisa Leong

Hello, it's Lisa Leong from This Working Life, helping to make your work life better with advice from the world's top experts, like psychotherapist Esther Perel.

0

18.811 - 30.847 Unknown

Many conflicts are about power. Power is when I dismiss what you're bringing up. Power is when I magnify a problem. And Professor Adam Grant. We need to take our critics and our cheerleaders and turn them into coaches.

0

31.328 - 39.133 Lisa Leong

Free coaching! Search for This Working Life on ABC Listen or wherever you get your podcasts. Pull up a barstool.

39.794 - 64.345 Unknown

It's story time. Tycho Brahe liked to throw a party. Do you know old mate? Yeah, me neither. But he was an astronomer from the 16th century, helped the launch of the scientific revolution. And apparently he lost his nose in a drunken duel with his cousin as they were trying to ascertain who was better at maths. No, I'm better at maths. Yay!

64.443 - 100.429 Unknown

After that, he had a prosthetic nose made of brass, that one, for daily wear, but for special occasions, a gold one. Anyway, Brahe was pretty rich. He owned a castle, predicted futures and was passionate about alchemy. And in his day, Tycho Brahe had a pet elk that he used to party with. One dinner party, the elk had too much beer, fell down the stairs and died. An inebriated elk? Off its chops!

101.316 - 129.229 Unknown

What the duck! Welcome to Nature's Most Wanted, a series from What The Duck where I have trawled through the internet like an amateur sleuth to find the most heinous, dangerous, famous and ignoramus crimes committed by animals. You know, roadrunners caught dangerous driving. Silver gulls detained for loitering with intent.

130.272 - 152.421 Unknown

I'm Dr Anne Jones, and in previous episodes, we have discussed animals who murder, steal, destroy property and get in the way of the military during wartime. But in this episode, it's criminal mischief and the reasons behind it. Welcome to episode five of this series, which I've called Trunk and Disorderly.

Chapter 2: What role does alcohol play in human-elephant conflicts?

694.201 - 706.433 Dr Mareike Janiak

And interestingly, horses are similar to elephants in that they don't have a functioning gene anymore. So it's quite possible that the donkey you're talking about was also quite a lightweight.

0

707.013 - 733.995 Unknown

Bad news for jackasses out there listening. Your propensity of two-pot screaming is why your Mexican cousins have been in the clink. ABC Radio National is probably not completely proud to present this latest episode of What The Duck. I'm Dr Anne Jones and lately I've been on a crime spree, that is, investigating stories from around the world where animals do stuff that's probably illegal.

0

735.106 - 746.588 Unknown

And we all know that alcohol isn't the cause of behaviour, it's part of the explanation, right? But what about other crimes where the perpetrators are stone-martin sober?

0

747.129 - 751.397 Dr Christine Sutton

I think the most aggressive animal that's around is probably the wild boar.

0

751.417 - 776.811 Unknown

You remember Christine Sutton? Well, if you like birds, then go back and listen to the previous episode of this series. But for context, in Switzerland, there's this huge facility called CERN, where physicists do experiments to try and understand what particles got up to at the beginning of time. You know, Big Bang stuff. And Christine worked there for years. This is where we left you last time.

777.132 - 799.396 Unknown

And there have been more extreme things that have happened, actually. More extreme than a bird with a sandwich causing the shutdown of a multi-million dollar Hadron Collider. Oh, ten years later, there was a stone martin... A marten, not a martian. A stone marten is essentially a wonderful little weasel ferret thing.

799.656 - 808.212 Unknown

Elongated body, short legs, inquisitive face and a bite force that can crush skulls. Small ones because it's only got a little mouth.

809.795 - 821.311 Dr Christine Sutton

A marten gnawed a cable. They did find a poor little beast just lying, having electrocuted himself. But he brought things to a standstill as well.

822.433 - 846.805 Unknown

Yep, the marten caused a very big zzz. And the hadron collider stopped colliding hadrons. Six months later, another stone marten went zappo and was instantaneously electrocuted by an 18,000-volt transformer. This sort of sabotage of multibillion-dollar facilities isn't a bad effort for a one- or two-kilogram animal.

Chapter 3: What are the stories of drunken behavior in other animals?

1430.17 - 1447.067 Dr Christine Sutton

So they referred to them as Romeo and Juliet after that, these two deer. Oh, my God. Two deer king. But the poor deer were electrocuted and died, you know. They didn't end up in a museum, I hasten to add.

0

1447.087 - 1464.297 Unknown

The mind boggles. Was there an excess of moisture? Did hooves bridge the negative and positive bits of a battery? Was there a biting down on a power cable? Was it really, finally, CERN's big bang?

0
0

1478.888 - 1503.175 Unknown

That's what I call a climax. A round of applause for Romeo and Juliet, dear, who, in the throes of coitus, clamped onto a cable with such force they pierced the protective coating and brought science to a halt. Also, randy slugs ringing random doorbells, drunk elephants and stoats that got smote.

0

1503.577 - 1528.538 Unknown

In the next episode of our special series, Nature's Most Wanted, I've got so much to tell you and you've got so much to think about, including... Can you leave your house to your dog in your will? I'm Dr Anne Jones, Chief Investigator with the CIABC Division of Felonious Fauna and What The Duck is a production of ABC Radio National.

1533.445 - 1546.813 Dr Ann Jones

This program was made on the lands of the Kulin Nation.

Comments

There are no comments yet.

Please log in to write the first comment.