Fighting Over Money Can Be Good, Actually
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
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Here's your money briefing for Tuesday, November 28th. I'm Danny Lewis for The Wall Street Journal, in for J.R.
What research question kicked off the conversation about money fights on Reddit?
Whalen. Arguing about money isn't really romantic, but it is a big part of any long-term relationship. Everything from groceries to rent to big purchases can be stressful, no matter how close two people are. But new research suggests that money isn't always the root of these problems.
When you're fighting about these things, you're fighting about something much bigger. So just treating it as a frivolous conversation really discounts what the other person is bringing to this.
Wall Street Journal personal finance reporter Julia Carpenter looked into what could cause these fights and found out that sometimes they might actually be good for relationships in the long run. How so? That's after the break.
How did researchers use Reddit posts to analyze relationship money conflicts?
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Couples often argue about money, but new research shows disagreements about money are often the byproduct of deeper relationship issues. Wall Street Journal personal finance reporter Julia Carpenter joins me now. So, Julia, we often hear from couples that a key to staying together is communication. Does discussing or even fighting about money fall under that category?
Absolutely. And one of the things that I learned from reading this research and speaking with the researchers is that fighting more about money is actually better for your relationship.
You spoke to the co-author of a recent study out of Carleton University in Ottawa that spotlighted conflict within relationships. How did money work its way into the study?
Johanna Peetz is the researcher I interviewed, and she had looked at thousands of Reddit posts on Our Relationships, which is a smaller forum within the greater social media platform Reddit. Our Relationships is where people go to post about relationship problems, questions about who's right in this fight, who's right in that fight. But a lot of times they bring up money and they bring up finances. And this team of social scientists was looking at these anonymous posts and then following it up by doing a secondary study where they analyzed How couples talk to each other really gave them some insight into some of the recurring themes and patterns.
What kinds of money fights did the study reveal couples often have?
So they don't necessarily sound like they're about money, but in the context of fighting about money, they're the themes that came up again and again. So one of them is perceived irresponsibility. So that's one partner is perceived as not caring as much about the finances of the household as the other partner. The other is one-sided decision-making. So it's perceived as one person is making all the decisions and leaving one other person out. The other is uneven contributions.
What common types of money fights did the study identify in couples?
So that's pretty easy to understand. That's one partner really carrying the load. And the other is a lack of shared values. What exactly does that mean? So a lack of shared values means that both partners aren't bringing the same money values to the relationship. And this can show up in small ways and in big ways. So let's say that two people go out to the movies and one person is buying the most luxurious seat and the other person is buying, you know, the seat way in the back.
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Chapters
5 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:00–0:39
2
What research question kicked off the conversation about money fights on Reddit?
0:39–1:28
3
How did researchers use Reddit posts to analyze relationship money conflicts?
1:28–3:47
4
What common types of money fights did the study identify in couples?
3:47–4:28
5
How do 'lack of shared values' and movie-seat examples explain deeper financial disagreements?
4:28–9:15
Speakers
3 identifiedMore from WSJ Your Money Briefing
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