How to Use Payment Apps and Not Lose Friends
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Here's your money briefing for Friday, July 12th. I'm J.R. Whelan for The Wall Street Journal. With apps like PayPal and Venmo, we can send and receive money with just a click. But things can get awkward, and it's cost some people friendships.
Things can go wrong when there are petty or surprise requests. For example, if a friend sends you a request for a very small amount, that's where things start to get rocky, especially if they don't send you a text or let you know in advance that the request is coming in.
We'll talk to Wall Street Journal reporter Dalvin Brown after the break.
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Payment apps like PayPal and Venmo make it easy to transfer money and collect debts, but they can also cause friction between friends. Wall Street Journal reporter Dalvin Brown joins me. Dalvin, why is money often a touchy subject between people?
Money can be a sensitive topic because it often ties into our personal values, trust and boundaries. Discussing finances can bring up feelings of shame, guilt or even resentment, especially if there are differing expectations or misunderstandings about spending and repayment.
How do these apps help smooth things over?
Payment apps like PayPal and Venmo, Cash App, you name it, have made it incredibly easy to split bills and settle debts without the need for an awkward face-to-face conversation. They allow for quick and efficient money transfers, which can help friends keep things fair and avoid some of those uncomfortable in-person discussions about who owes what.
And yet in your reporting, you wrote about how using payment apps has sometimes resulted in tension between friends. Where have things gone wrong?
How do payment apps like Venmo and PayPal change how friends split bills?
Things can go wrong when there are petty or surprise requests. For example, if a friend sends you a request for a very small amount, which can feel trivial or petty, that's where things start to get rocky, especially if they don't send you a text or let you know in advance that the request is coming in. I spoke with a source who was a student in California, and he told me he experienced this firsthand when he received a $4 Venmo request for a short ride to the hospital. He had a medical emergency. A friend nearby said, I have a zip car count. I'll take you. The drive lasted less than 10 minutes. And when he was recovering from what ended up being an emergency surgery, he got a Venmo request for $4.
And ultimately, that ended the friendship.
$4 ended the friendship?
Because it was bigger than just the amount of money. He said his friend was in a better financial standing than he was. And he also felt, you know, it was pretty hurtful that someone who knew his circumstance decided to go about it that way and just sort of send him a sudden request for $4 to cover what could have been a life or death moment for him.
Do people really have a problem paying their fair share of something, even if it's just a few dollars?
So according to a Cash App poll, a significant number of people find requests that are just small amounts of money, $5 or less, rude and annoying. And it's not about the money itself. Like I said, it's about the principle and the context of the request that's being made.
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