OK to Regift Unwanted Presents? Research Says Yes
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What is the episode’s central question about regifting?
Here's your money briefing. I'm J.R. Whalen at The Wall Street Journal in New York. It's the season of giving. And while everyone says it's the thought that counts, most people have gotten a gift at one time or another that they don't need or maybe want. So is it OK to return it? And is it better or worse to give it to someone else?
One of the funny things about gift giving is it feels like it's a very positive, happy thing where we show people we love them and they show us that they love us. And instead, when you talk to people about gift giving around the holidays or birthdays or whatever, the number one word that people think of is stress.
That's Harvard University's Michael Norton. He's been doing research on regifting.
Who is Michael Norton and why did researchers study regifting?
We'll find out more about his findings coming up.
What could be so bad about receiving gifts for the holidays? Plenty if you don't like what you got. Should you regift it? Your mind can burden you with guilt when you give a gift you received to somebody else. But is there a legitimate reason to feel guilty? Michael Norton is a professor at Harvard Business School, which conducted research on people's minds and giving away gifts and presents. And he joins us to discuss. So, Michael, regifting sounds like a whimsical topic, but people actually have expressed pretty sharp words about it.
We've seen horror stories of regifting, certainly on the web, but also in our personal lives, particularly when someone gets back a gift that they gave to somebody a few years ago. Those are the cases where people really, really burn bridges.
That's really not a positive way to complete a full circle.
Exactly.
How do people emotionally react when they consider regifting?
And so what we found, though, is that in our research is that the horror story cases are fairly rare, actually. So they do happen. But most regifting that happens is actually OK, especially with the person who gave you the gift. They really don't mind so much if you don't love the gift, if you find someone who might really love it.
See, that's the thing is that there's a lot of guilt here inside the mind of the regifter. They typically have two people they're worried about offending, and it can really stop them dead in their tracks when they're trying to make a decision.
Yeah, one of the funny things about gift-giving is, as you said, it feels like it's a very positive, happy thing where we show people we love them, and they show us that they love us. And instead, when you talk to people about gift-giving around the holidays or birthdays or whatever, The number one word that people think of is stress. They're stressed about getting it done. They're stressed about getting it right. And regifting seems to be this special case that's extra stressful and extra worried about doing it wrong and really upsetting people.
Take us through the research session in which people were designated as givers and regifters.
Yeah, so we can really just, you can think for yourself if you've ever thought about being a regifter or you've ever heard of someone who did regift. We just ask people to think about being a regifter and think about being the person who gave that gift. And we find that when people are thinking about being a regifter, they really feel very negatively about it.
What did the lab experiments reveal about givers’ versus regifters’ expectations?
And most importantly, they really feel that the person who gave them the gift will be really upset with them if they go through with the regifting. But the trick is we also ask that person who gave the gift originally, how would you feel if this person regifts it? And it's not that they love, love the behavior of regifting, but they actually tend to say, look, I gave them a gift. And if it's not perfect for them, it's okay if they find somebody else who might like it more.
Now, the research you conducted with Stanford University shows this is really all in our heads.
It really seems to be. We're often simulating in our minds what someone will think or how someone will feel about our actions. And sometimes we're completely accurate, but very often we're overstating people's emotional reactions. And this is one case where we really seem to be overestimating just how angry someone will be if we take something they give us and pass it along to somebody else.
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Chapters
5 chapters
1
What is the episode’s central question about regifting?
0:05–0:44
2
Who is Michael Norton and why did researchers study regifting?
0:44–1:43
3
How do people emotionally react when they consider regifting?
1:43–3:08
4
What did the lab experiments reveal about givers’ versus regifters’ expectations?
3:08–5:53
5
Can a cultural cue like National Regifting Day change regifting behavior?
5:53–7:41
Speakers
2 identifiedMore from WSJ Your Money Briefing
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