Nicole Yade: Why Leaving an Abusive Relationship Is the Most Dangerous Time
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This is an R Media podcast. I was dragged out of the house by my hair. I was in like a simple kind of nightie. I didn't have any underwear on. I didn't have shoes. I didn't have my wallet or ID. The door was slammed. My baby daughter was inside. And I couldn't get back in the house. I was just completely terrified. I didn't know if she was alive or not. Marie Claire presents You're Gonna Want to Hear This.
If you or someone you know has experienced domestic, family or sexual violence, please know that support is available. You can call 1-800-RESPECT on 1-800-737-732 or Lifeline on 131114. Hello and welcome back to You're Gonna Want to Hear This. I'm your host, Georgie McCourt. I want you to imagine this for a moment. You're 24 years old. You have a five-month-old baby in your arms. The person who's supposed to love and protect you has become the person that you fear most. You've tried to leave before, so many times you've lost count, but this time you know you have to go. And it's not because you're ready, and it's not because it's easy, it's because staying is no longer safe. What comes next isn't freedom, it's homelessness, it's uncertainty,
It's wondering where you're going to sleep and how you're going to feed your child and whether you've made the right decision, even though deep down you know that you had no other choice. The heartbreaking reality is that Nicole Yard's story isn't rare. Before she was the incredible CEO of the Women's and Girls Emergency Centre, before she became one of Australia's most respected advocates for women escaping violence... Nicole was a little girl growing up in a home ruled by fear. She learnt to recognise the sound of her father's keys in the front door and instantly knew what mood he was in. She knew which floorboards creaked, which doors made noise and how to make herself invisible. As a kid, she begged her mother to leave.
As an adult, despite promising herself that she would never repeat the cycle, she found herself in an abusive relationship of her own. And yet today, Nicole has transformed that lived experience into purpose. Every single night, around 200 women and children find safety through the organisation that she leads. She has spent decades standing beside victim survivors, challenging the myths that we continue to believe about domestic violence and fighting for a system that often fails the women who need it most. In today's conversation, we talk about why leaving is not as simple as people think. We unpack domestic violence and the invisible barriers that keep women trapped. We discuss why, despite domestic violence dominating headlines, frontline services are still overwhelmed.
But this isn't just a conversation about violence. It's about survival. It's about resilience. It's about motherhood, hope, and what it really takes to rebuild a life after unimaginable trauma. This is honestly one of the most important conversations that we have had on the podcast and I was in tears at multiple points and I'm just so grateful that Nicole has trusted us with her story. This is Nicole Yard and you are gonna wanna hear this. Nicole, I wanna start with your personal story because it really gives so much context to what you do now and your purpose. You have shared that you grew up in a home shaped by domestic violence. Tell me about the decision to share your story publicly.
Yeah, I mean, I think I didn't share my story for a really, really long time. And a lot of people who work in domestic violence, they will have this backstory, but they might not share their story. And it took me a long time to share mine. But I think really what did it for me was working with women who felt like you know, they had made these decisions and this kind of self-blame around it. So in our work with women, I didn't want them to feel alone. It was, you know, carefully sharing some of my own story for them to understand like, A lot of us have been there. You know, it isn't just people going through it right now. So many of us who work in domestic violence have had those experiences and we have got through them.
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Chapters
4 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:03–6:15
2
How did Nicole's childhood shaped by domestic violence influence her later life and work?
6:15–37:15
3
Why do survivors sometimes repeat abusive relationship patterns despite promising they won't?
37:15–59:39
4
What made leaving at 24 with a five‑month‑old so dangerous and complicated for Nicole?
59:39–1:01:51
Speakers
2 identifiedMore from You’re Gonna Want To Hear This
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