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You Wouldn't

Thailand Steals Our Producer

24 Jun 2026

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What happened to the producer and why is it significant?

7.608 - 13.701 Pat Clifton

Hello again from the edge of the water.

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14.162 - 15.104 Will Gibb

Shit, who sings that?

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15.304 - 43.337 Pat Clifton

I don't know, but I'm pretty sure the original song is alone at the end of the... I thought it was hello from the other side. That's a dad. That's a dad. Well, hello from the other side of your phones, everyone. Or your TV screens. Thank you so much for tuning in. We are FM Radio, you wouldn't. I'm Weepy Patty Mappy. And I'm Silly Billy Willy.

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43.998 - 62.503 Pat Clifton

And today, guys, we're going to run through... You are silly. Guys, we're going to cut to a quick ad break and then we're going to talk all about paper bags. How annoying are they? FM Radio. Have you had your in-health pass today? Great ad. And then I'm going to go, I'm tired of your period.

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62.883 - 70.952 Will Gibb

Well, just, I was going to say, cut your vag off. I don't think it would stop it. Stop the vag.

71.233 - 80.443 Pat Clifton

Welcome back, guys, to the radio. And guys, let's talk about these plastic bags. Paddy, you had a hilarious story with a plastic bag. What was it?

81.267 - 99.784 Will Gibb

So I went to the shops. Very, very rare you find a plastic bag these days. Mate, very rare. So bloody rare. And I'm using it, and this old lady comes up to me. She goes, hey, shagger. You're not allowed them. They're killing turtles. Oh, mate. That's what she said, yeah. Killing turtles.

100.084 - 109.232 Pat Clifton

We've got a caller calling in from, we've got Michelle from Wallamaloo. Michelle, when was one time you saw a plastic bag?

111.608 - 113.311 Will Gibb

It's Michelle. You're Michelle.

Chapter 2: How do plastic bags affect the environment?

196.229 - 203.88 Will Gibb

Well, it's a bright and early Thursday morning. I'm a little bit hungover. I'm talking in the present now because this is when this episode comes out.

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204.661 - 205.462 Pat Clifton

You're going to be hungover?

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205.482 - 211.371 Will Gibb

We finished a live show in Sydney. Are you going to drink on Wednesday night? I'm going to have a couple of drinks after it just to celebrate. Really? Yeah.

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211.952 - 212.412 Pat Clifton

You down?

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213.053 - 225.569 Will Gibb

Yeah, I'm down. Yeah? I don't know if I'll drink, but I'm down to like- I'm not going to get fucked. I'm just going to have a couple. I might have a couple Pepsi Maxes. Yeah, good on you. I might have eight beers. Go have a couple Pepsis. You're going to have a beer on stage? No, not on stage.

225.59 - 226.671

Eight beers, that's a lot of beers.

227.852 - 244.112 Will Gibb

Any decision with our mates? Not where I come from, mate. Nah, my mum said, I said, so this is the thing. I've always said no to my mum coming to my shows, right? I've always just been like, I feel like it'll throw me off. Like, even though my mum, I know my mum knows the shit I talk about, but I'm like, I don't want to go to say something on stage. And go, my mum's here.

244.132 - 260.975 Will Gibb

And in the back of my mind, I go, my mum's here. And I go, blah, blah, blah, right? But Will was like, dude, your mum knows you, mate. Like she's listened. She sees all the stuff. What if something happened to her and she didn't get to see you like, you know, do your thing? And I was like, fuck, that's a great point. So I said to her, I was like, hey, mum, you're more than welcome to come.

261.255 - 283.552 Will Gibb

Don't feel like you have to at all. Like if you want to see it, you can. And she said, oh, I'm scared I'll throw you off. Like I'll give it a miss this time. So maybe she'd never want to come this whole time. Oh, so you think she's telling the truth there? Well, yeah, because I was very... I was pretty adamant. I'm serious. You're more than welcome to come. It's completely fine.

Chapter 3: What are the challenges of working in FM radio?

306.882 - 308.584 Will Gibb

Also no, too late. Really?

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Chapter 4: What prank did the hosts play on their producer?

308.945 - 319.596 Will Gibb

Fuck. Yeah. What if we open the show with them? Lara's coming. You know, it would be the funniest fucking thing in the world. What? Oh, I hate that. Fuck, dude. What? I hate that. What time does the show start? Seven.

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320.278 - 324.685 Pat Clifton

Oh, bro. Imagine we have the curtains drawn and we sit them on the fucking chairs.

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325.085 - 344.268 Will Gibb

And when the show starts, we pull the curtains and it's them sitting in the podcast chairs holding mics. That would be fucking hilarious. But they would not do that. Can you imagine them sitting there, bro? If we pulled it off, amazing. The curtains would open. They'd be fucking probably pulling each other's hair or laughing or fucking throwing the mics on the floor or crying.

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344.308 - 361.242 Will Gibb

Like there's no way that it would pull off. But fuck, it would be funny. Damn. They'd be too scared of the noise. Oh, the noise would be eruptive. Like the noise is eruptive. Not to pat ourselves on the back, but 400 and something people. Well, it's just pretty loud. It's a credit to them.

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361.983 - 362.543 Pat Clifton

Um...

363.67 - 371.997 Will Gibb

Anyway. It's like Origin, cunt. Oh yeah, we lost Origin, bro. Yeah, but we still got one game. Yeah, good on us. Yeah, good on us, bro.

372.298 - 374.76 Pat Clifton

Can I bring something up that I thought was quite funny?

375.18 - 375.701 Will Gibb

Please.

375.801 - 383.167 Pat Clifton

I got sushi today. Call in, guys. When have you had sushi? And it was funny.

Chapter 5: What is Olivia Rodrigo's all-female music festival?

1509.5 - 1516.09 Joe Bird

I thought that's what was going down. It was going to be going down right now. Who are you going to Thailand with? I thought that's why you boys are calling me.

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1516.37 - 1519.134 Will Gibb

Who are you going to Thailand with? We'll call and make sure you're all set to go.

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1519.155 - 1544.538 Joe Bird

Who are you going to Thailand with? I just told Kyle I'm keen to do – I only will be here for two records. Who are you going to Thailand with? Like a bunch of the boys. You might want to call them and say you can't go. You might want to call him and say he can't go. Wait, are you not with Kyle right now recording? Do you think you're on the pod right now?

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1544.578 - 1560.449 Joe Bird

No, I thought Kyle just told me he was going to the studio. Oh, yeah, I hear a mic. Oh, fuck, bro.

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1560.469 - 1561.871 Pat Clifton

That's funny.

1561.891 - 1563.113 Will Gibb

Wait.

1563.213 - 1565.256 Joe Bird

Is this you guys telling me I've got the job?

1566.358 - 1570.564 Will Gibb

This is us calling you saying we do know about Thailand, but we just wanted to rattle you.

1570.584 - 1579.177 Joe Bird

We wanted to rattle your brains a bit, bro. But that doesn't mean you're still not in trouble. I was like fucking texting like two hours ago saying I've got to go to Thailand. Kyle's right.

Chapter 6: Who are the top female artists discussed in the episode?

1598.324 - 1599.466 Joe Bird

Fucking hell.

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1599.867 - 1601.77 Eric Thomas

So you can work two records.

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1601.79 - 1603.793

Yeah, two records. And then Pat's on edit.

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1605.596 - 1608.12 Joe Bird

Maybe I can do it. I could probably do it remotely.

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1608.758 - 1612.003 Will Gibb

Nah, you kick your feet up and enjoy the ping pong shows. How about this?

1612.023 - 1615.247 Joe Bird

You're only allowed to go if you get a rubby.

1617.31 - 1635.616 Will Gibb

That's the only thing. By a traditional Thai ladyboy. Deal, deal. Great. All right, Max, we'll enjoy, yeah. Enjoy Thailand. We were looking forward to it. Yeah, we were really keen to work with you, but yeah, anyway.

1635.636 - 1645.715 Joe Bird

So do you not need me for those two records? You can find someone else. We'll probably find someone else. We'll see. We might need you, brother. Unless you want to go to Thailand on the 30th.

1646.076 - 1648.12

Yeah, fun while it lasted, mate. Well done.

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